Over-complicater & over-inviter
Geesh, do those two go hand in hand or something?!
Several times this week, I have stopped myself from saying certain things in person, in text/email or on Facebook… and I am so proud.
Because I was about to over-complicate or over-invite to something, and I stopped myself! Woo hoo!
Ha ha, really, this is a good thing for me. I tend to react from my gut on most actions. And sometimes it misleads me “Ooo, Kim! Tell her you’ll be in her area this week, maybe she can meet up!” (Even thought that would make things really stressful with my schedule.) “Ooo, Kim! Since you’re with this person at this moment, mention your upcoming party, maybe they’d like to come!” (Even though they don’t have an interest in what the party is about and I don’t have room in my house.) “Ooo, Kim, you should totally do that thing even though it means a hellish commute!” (Sometimes this is worth it, ha ha, and it’s made me very confident in getting around, but man, I make things complicated for myself.)
So, my inner voice is very nice (sometimes!) but I just can’t listen to it in every instance. Besides making things complicated for me, I make them complicated for others, if I set up some ridiculous schedule for myself to follow. I don’t want to be known as the friend who is difficult to schedule with or who over complicates things… even though I think I may have earned that reputation from some. I’m working on it!
Do you have friends who over complicate things? Or do you? Do you ever get bummed when you have a date with a friend and they invite others to join?
Updated to add: sorry to be so unclear, it’s not that I am saying yes to things I don’t want to do. I am very good at saying no to things I don’t want to do. It’s that I see opportunities for things, and want to do them, even though it will overcomplicate my schedule (like I am traveling somewhere and try to set up a million dates). Or I want to invite all the people to do all the things, even though the people don’t mesh. I just get overexcited, ha ha. I am actually remembering to stop and think this week. Bravo!
Themocracy
I used to be an over complicater, BIG TIME. Took me many years to learn to say NO to things and not volunteer for everything, LOL.
Good for you!
I am really good at saying no to things I don’t want to do (um, maybe too good – I am going to stop getting invites, soon). I just tend to make the things I say yes to, more than they need to be. I am not explaining it well!
LOL! I understand…I think! HEHE!
If I get to blame Miles, you can blame Data. I usually say no to most things so I don’t have a problem.
Ha ha! I am getting off work early tomorrow for Data.
But it’s not saying no! It’s that I complicate things that I plan or said yes to because I wanted to do them. I say no A LOT. 😉
You’re having a party and not inviting me?! Meko said this would happen. Haha, just kidding. I have to remember this sometimes too! I like having stuff to look forward to on my calendar, but often it’s like “damn, why did I just take on so many things?” so I’m trying to make an effort to pause before committing to stuff.
And I would totally not be offended or surprised if some of our run dates fall into this category. Why is it so dang hard for us to get together just because we live 50 miles away from each other?
Ha ha. It’s all Meko’s fault! JK. And yes, that, exactly. I tried to fit in way too much last weekend!
Our dates totally fall in to overcomplicating! It doesn’t bug me, but I wonder if it bugs you sometimes! Stupid long distance!!!! Meko does that better, for sure.
I did that a LOT. And then I had a baby and overcomplicating anything scared the heck out of me. And now that I have two, anything even remotely complicated sends me hiding in a corner! I don’t think I volunteer for anything any more. My worst used to be volunteering to lead things, I’d join activities I liked a lot and volunteer to take charge of something or over and end up burning out on the activity because I always became the coordinator…everything I loved eventually turned into a job. SO glad to be out of that habit!
I’m learning not to over extend myself. It just makes me grumpy and that’s not fair for anyone 🙂
I understand completely!!! The older I get, the more I feel ok with just saying no. Especially the commute part- sometimes it’s just not worth it. But sometimes it is!
Sometimes I feel bad when I find out someone was in my area and didn’t try to schedule something with me, but then I remind myself that it’s not about ME! They had their own stuff to do! And then I try to remind myself of that when I go somewhere and don’t try to set something up with people I know are nearby. I’m busy!
As for overcomplicating, I think it definitely goes hand-in-hand with overscheduling. If you only have one thing to do then it’s not bad. Of course, also only having one car in a place that doesn’t have public transit probably doesn’t help your situation sometimes 🙂
Our last trip to Iowa almost became more crazy with setting up visits with people, and I am really happy we didn’t… it just would have been too much. And I saw myself almost reaching out to people with my upcoming trip. LOL.
Ha ha ha. Yeah, I’ve gotten pretty creative with how I get around 😉
I’m usually good at not over-inviting and I try my best not to over-complicate. I also try to consider realistically how likely it would be for me to have time to do things. Joey keeps in check about that a lot of the time. He hates to be overscheduled.
That being said, I’m trying to figure out if I should tell my brother that I’ll be at the beach near him (about 30ish minutes away) for a weekend next month and try to get together with him and his family. It makes me feel selfish to not let him know but it could just be overcomplicated to try to make meeting up work since he has three kids and we’ll have our dogs with us.
That is exactly the kind of thing I am talking about 😉 I suppose it’s nice to let people you will be around… maybe also have a “it would be really complicated to meet up” disclaimer. LOL!
I have a friend or two that over complicates things. It’s more drama than anything, to bring more attention to them than anyone else. Especially when making plans for a gathering of friends. It seems like an exercise in self absorbed nonsense.
Ha ha ha! I hope I am not THAT bad! I don’t think I am, because I know people like that and try to avoid it. It’s silly and wastes time.