Those words don’t hurt me…
… they hurt you.
As I was running by a park today, some kids yelled out “fat” at me. A couple of months ago, my neighbor yelled at me about my weight while I was running by.
I don’t know what it is about this neighborhood… but these people seriously crack me up. Really. This makes me laugh. Their comments mean nothing to me. In fact, they say more about them, than me. The words don’t make me sad about me, but they do make me sad for the people saying them. I really hope saying them gave them whatever feeling they were after, because I was not affected*.
Kind of interesting that this happened today, as Anne and I were discussing bullying earlier in the day, and how we dealt with it in high school. I became an independent loner (in high school). And I really liked how I turned out. Still, I would wish that experience on no one!
*Except to be inspired to write this post.
Themocracy
My mom just bought me those pants for my birthday. They are going back. They’re the most unflattering piece of apparel I own – so unforgiving and make my butt look flat and wide.
I am sorry they didn’t work out for you! Bummer! I don’t think they have that effect on me. Or if they do, I don’t care.
Ugh, really? I don’t understand society these days. Seems people only have negative and crap to spew…I think you look GREAT, and of course love your pants!!!
It’s really surprising, right?!
Thanks 🙂
From my perspective, you look pretty darn good in that outfit…and every other outfit I’ve seen you in on here. Glad to hear you aren’t affected by the negative comments! You look great just the way you are!
Aww, thanks Matt!!! 😀
FAT, MY ASS! You, my dear, are the essence of STRONG. People are assholes.
A gay friend of mine posted to FB yesterday that he had encountered his first slur ever while walking through the mall earlier in the day. Some young little bitch-ass punks walked by him and one of them coughed the word “homo” while the others just all laughed.
I can honestly say that I never encountered any bullying in school… or ever even saw it happen to anyone else. I guess living in a small town does have its perks. Where I grew up, everyone knew everyone, and if Little Bobby shoved Little Billy down, Little Bobby’s daddy knew about it by the time he got home and was waiting for him with a belt!
And by the way… I LOVE THOSE PANTS!!!!! Where can I get some?!?!?
Thanks 😉
Ugh! Was your friend just annoyed? Did he laugh at it like I did? Or did it bug him? 🙁
Ha ha ha! I think this kids might need a Little Bobby’s Dad to remind them what is right and wrong. I hope they are not hearing these comments in the home and thinking they are okay!
They are Xersion for JCP! Not many sizes online, but Xersion has fun stuff in the store, too! 🙂 http://tinyurl.com/kz7jjc5
Sometimes kids suck. Young boys sometimes are goofs. That’s a cute outfit and in no way do you look large. You look awesome!
Hee hee hee. But how did you know they were boys? 😉
Aww, thanks 🙂
What a joke. I’ll never forget the time a couple years ago when I was roller blading on the middle school track when some middle school girls came around and kept seeing “I like big butts”every time I went around. They were bigger than me :-/ Sad for the middle schoolers.
Gosh! That is awful! I wonder if this is a middle school thing (that seemed to be the age of these kids) and they grow out of it a bit in HS… or if it gets worse.
Maybe they meant Phat, remember that word? Maybe it’s back.
But really, those jerks.
Buah ha ha! That must be it! Thanks for making me laugh! 🙂 🙂 🙂
???
I…am so not seeing it. You look athletic to me…not fat? -headscratch- There ARE bits of athletic apparel out there that are not flattering or make the wearer look heavy, but…this doesn’t look like that to me? IDGI.
I was thinking about what I was wearing – some of my running outfits are really crazy, and might make me look ridiculous, but rarely are they oversized. I like my exercise clothes to be a slim fit (to minimize chafing! and that is just what I am most comfortable in). Ha ha ha. I guess I will only run in ALL black now! 😛
And that is why I hate teenagers. Even though I know they act that way because they are terribly insecure, it is still hard to take. Glad you have such thick skin!
I am glad I do too. And I genuinely feel bad for their level of immaturity!
Ok first of all you look phenomenal and rock those pants like it’s nobody’s business (seriously, where are they from?). You’re strong, a MARATHONER, and a great runner. I’m pretty sure 99.9% of your neighborhood can’t say the same. It’s embarrassing to think this is still happening in our society, one which seemingly promotes the whole “love your body” mantra, but whatever…like you said it says a lot about who those people really are. Anyway, keep up the awesomeness and keep shunning those negative comments!
Thanks! They are Xersion for JCP! Have you checked out their stuff? http://tinyurl.com/kz7jjc5
Your comment really made me think. I mean, it’s strange that we have to have this whole “love your body” campaign. Like, why don’t we love it? I guess for some people, it’s comments like this! Whether it’s from strangers, loved ones, or in their heads.
Ughh-I work in a middle school (as you know) and while it is terrible how kids talk, I actually think the parents are worse. We have more issues with parents bullying other parents, believe it or not. And if that is what they see at home and in their role models, they will act that way, too. Fortunately, you don’t need your ego stroked because you have enough confidence to know you are strong and they are weak!
That was one of the first things I thought – what the HECK is going on in their home that they say this stuff?!
And thanks for the compliment (saying I don’t need my ego stroked!!!) 🙂 🙂 🙂
I don’t understand people shouting at runners in general – I’ve run a few times close to my neighborhood, and it almost fails that I get people who roll down their window and whistle or hoot at me. Let me say, I do NOT run for other people’s attention. It IS sad, like you said, that people feel the need to yell at others – or say anything to others that will be negative.
My thought about your outfit? How lucky that you get to bundle up! We’re still in shorts and t-shirts and probably will be until November. Sigh…
IKR?! I like it when someone I KNOW happens to see me running and honks or shouts, but why the random people? Do. Not. Get.
Hee hee hee. It was in the low 40s and windy during this run. I loved it! I hope you get your cold weather soon! 🙂
Let’s just discuss how much I LOVE your outfit, and how I think you just might be the strongest woman I know. You hit the nail on the head when you said those words show a TON about their character, not yours. This is one of the many reasons I adore you!
Thank you, Meghan 🙂
Do you have to deal with crap like this at your school? 🙁
What the F? I’m glad you didn’t take it seriously. You look cute and shiny.
Thanks 🙂
People make me sad. I’m just proud of how you took it. I doubt I’d be as strong. I might’ve snapped.
Steven seemed surprised I didn’t snap. He asked me if I saw what they looked like and offered to go punch them. LOL. I wonder if I would have reacted differently, had it been an adult.
Those are some kick ass pants. Those fools have no idea what they are talking about. Keep your strong attitude!
Thanks! I will! 😀
Well, my mom always told me that other kids picked on me (or yes, bullied – but why does that sound so much more harsh??) because they were jealous. And also, kids can be so mean! But what do they know? I think Data looks very slimming on you!
PS – is that one of the new pairs of capris? They’re toads cute.
I was thinking about my use of the word bullying – it does sound a lot harsher. But that is what it is! Or does bullying require it to happen a certain amount of times? Hmm.
Ha ha. If only I could get Data to run (more than a few steps) with me!
These are the ones I ended up getting a ton of pairs of to teach in – http://www.kohls.com/product/prd-1347918/tek-gear-shape-performance-cropped-leggings.jsp – since the others were so stanky! And these I just ordered for fun. http://tinyurl.com/kz7jjc5 So they are new, but I wasn’t even thinking of them when I was telling you about the others. Oops. Then I saw another pair online this am… must. stop.
Bull shit! Maybe next time, simply challenge them to a race. They probably can’t even run around the block, and that is sad.
Love those pants!
I did have to chuckle at a comment a few reply’s up from Kristina. She thinks you are lucky for getting to bundle up!!!!! We will be doing more than bundling up tomorrow morning – we will be freezing our ass off!!!!!!!!! We are expecting a low of 28!
Ha ha ha! I would have to challenge them to an endurance race, not speed! I like that idea! 🙂
Thanks!
I was SOOOO excited to run in the cold this am, but had to take a rest day. Did you get out there?! 🙂
Some teenagers hollered run fat girl run to me recently. I thought it was an odd thing to say. I will never understand the comments from others about people’s weight, just such a shallow and peculiar thing to comment on.
I think those tights are super hott. And your neighbors are turds.
Ha ha ha. Okay, sorry. That should not make me laugh. But them, yelling that at YOU?! It’s so odd. It yeah. NEVER appropriate to comment on. Unless you’re… the person’s doctor, maybe? 🙂
Thanks 🙂
I feel people who make comments like that are fairly insecure. Except for the very big guy that I saw in the Verizon store whose shirt was unbuttoned and wandered around telling the store employees he would not buy anything except the cheapest plan..I wanted to take the stapler and seal up his shirt..I didn’t need or want to see that. 😉
Oh yeah, they are definitely insecure!
Oh man! I wonder if that guy did not realize he was unbuttoned! Embarrassing!
Those tights are awesome!! I love how secure you are. Honestly, I’m jealous. Those comments would gave totally eaten at me even if I felt good about my body. I LOVE how that is not the case for you. That’s so badass!
Thanks! 🙂
I feel bad that it would have made YOU feel so bad! You are a strong, beautiful, athletic person! I mean, look at what you are doing, a million weeks in to your pregnancy!
I had a coworker subtly comment on me being heavy by saying something like “no offense, but I am always surprised when heavier runners beat me”. My response was to run a 10k with her….and beat her by about five minutes. Hope my bodacious backside wasn’t too much for you while I left you in the dust. Some people should just really keep their mouth shut. And you are fabulous and in great shape so those comments should just roll right off. Keep being amazing!
Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, so much I could say about this. Heavy does not equal slow, and does not equal that we can’t workout. We have to work harder, yes, but we can sometimes still do it. I am happy you beat them, lol!
Thanks 🙂
You look so smokin hot in those capris. You got it girl 🙂 (and I’m not just saying that either…)
I dislike most people in general… I’m really happy it didn’t bother you because it absolutely should not bother you what those little jerks said. People are just dumb and terrible and that’s why I dislike like 99% of them. (Because 99% of people do not want to see others happier than themselves + people are just plain selfish and do not think how their actions or words may affect others ..)
And WTF with the completely inconsiderate comment above? (Had to say something about it… I’m so terrible. Lol)
I dislike most people. But I love you. That is all.
Ha ha ha. Thanks! You know I was working it for you 😉
99%?! Do you think it’s that high?! LOL. I do notice a lot of people seem to feel discomfort at other’s happiness. Which is just so bizarro to me! I am happy for my friend’s happiness! (And sad when they are sad).
To what are you referring? 😛
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE! I just dont get it. Why do people think they can just say anything to others, why do people think they can just say such mean things. I am glad these words don’t hurt you, I am not sure I would be as strong, i tend to be a little less self confident sometimes and often feel bad when people say things about me. I would never ever think to say something mean to someone else about how they look or anything.
I am not sure why people say things like this, externally. It would be one thing to think it. But to verbalize it? LOL. They must have been realllly bored. I mean, middle school age kids at a park when it’s in the low 40s? What are they doing? Ha ha.
Number one: You are beautiful and strong, inside and out. Not that you didn’t know that, but totes true.
Number 2: I’m with Kapgar. Way proud of how you handled that. Middle school kids are searching for something – usually affirmation from their peers that they are cool enough. The way they seek it is ridiculous, but hopefully they figure that out later – most of them do.
Thanks 🙂
I am happy to hear that you know most of them figure it out later! Because, gah! Have your kids had to deal with any of this crap, at school?
Jenna did when she was younger. Not sure about Jack (since he doesn’t let me in much). But I know *I* dealt with it a WHOLE LOT.
You couldn’t pay me enough $ to redo middle school. Shudder.
what kind of people just yell that crap out?? you’re SO right- it definitely says something about them not you.
for the record, I f’n love those capris, the flashier and more fun THE BETTER
I… don’t know. It is not a type of person I am familiar with!
Thanks! I love fun and flashy! I have always been a bit (okay, more than a bit…) obnox 😉
People can be so ridiculous, good for you for realizing that their negative comments have more to do with them than with you. I live right by a school and often run past groups of middle school kids just hanging out. They’ve never yelled at me but they definitely look my way and I get the feeling they talk about me after I’ve run past. It usually makes me a little uncomfortable but then I think about all of the things that I’m physically capable of doing and all of their judgment can’t take that away from me! You’re strong and such an inspiration, don’t forget it :).
Yes – I get that feeling sometimes – when a group of people follow you with their gaze when you run by. Good reminder to think about all the AMAZING stuff you can do. When they are just sitting around (at least they are outside, lol).
Thanks 🙂
UGH!!! I think now I can mostly laugh off the negative/bullying comments b/c I can see that it’s a projection of the person’s own insecurities or even just expression of how truly miserable of a person that they are. However, I was bullied A LOT growing up and it really took a toll on me (though in the end, just spurred me to work harder and prove them all “wrong”)
A friend and I were running on a trail this spring (partially visible to a road) and a truck full of teenagers saw us, actually backed up then sped back by while one of them yelled “Go home and die you f****** fat a$$es” WOW. I think I was so shocked I yelled some obscenities back but my mind was truly reeling. “Go home and DIE?” (much less the other comments) I mean WTF?!?! Talk about angry people. I actually felt/feel really sorry for them.
I am sorry you were bullied so much growing up! I would say that it’s good it made you work harder, but, you probably would have worked hard and you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone! Sigh.
Gah. WTF kind of weirdo thing is that to yell at someone? Geesh. That would scare me! That made me think of when I was running on a road with a friend and a truck swerved toward us to throw pop bottles at us. Really?!
You’re right but I like to think it gave me that extra motivation (at the time) to move away and do something completely out of the realm of what people had stereotyped me to be (which of course was not an accurate reflection of who I was)
Yeah, people are effed up—throwing stuff at you!?!?! yelling obscenities and insults…they must be REALLY bored and STUPID!
That happened to me once as I was back from a long jog after I’d lost a bunch of weight. Some kids on bikes about 11 or 12 yelled out to me about being fat. I was pretty crushed, actually. I still vividly remember it. Makes me sad for society and how mean we are to people who don’t fit a standard mold. Fat seems to be the only acceptable “ism” left to haters.
That being said, I love your attitude about this and when I see pictures of you I think “happy” and “fit”.
Oh gosh! That must have been especially crushing, as you were probably feeling good after losing so much weight. Sigh. That is just another reminder that we NEVER know where someone is in their journey and should NEVER judge! 🙁
Thank you! 🙂
Hah, well I like those pants!
Seriously, though, I’ve had that happen to me several times and as much as I’d like to say it doesn’t bother me…it does. It really hurts! I’m generally happy with my body/weight, but to have someone call you out like that sucks
Okay, first of all, you look SMOKIN’ in that outfit! And those capris are awesome. I don’t even understand WHY they would call you fat. But, more than that, even if you WERE, the fact that they (and your neighbor!! That one shocked me!) said that is like what some other commenters said – looking for validation from their friends and their own insecurity.
I’ve never had that yelled to me, but I HAVE been asked if I’m pregnant many times. NOT AN APPROPRIATE QUESTION IF YOU’RE NOT 100% SURE. EVER. EVER. EVER. EVER. EVER. Every single time, it hurts me. I know the person who asks gets SUPER embarrassed but I think I would have been crushed if someone yelled FAT at me while I was working out. I’m so glad you are able to laugh it off. I want to be like you someday. 🙂
I’ve had people ask if I was pregnant too. I try to laugh it off, but I HATE it! It’s kind of what inspired me to start running in the first place. I seem to carry all of my weight in my mid-section.
Aww, thanks 😉 The first thing I thought was, “I look good. I am fit. What are they talking about?” but then I realized right away they probably just wanted their friends to laugh at them. I hope at least one person in the group thought “this isn’t right.”
Gah. That is just awful for someone to ask that! 🙁 What do you say? 🙁
If the kids in our neighborhood think you’re fat, I can’t imagine what kind of comments I would invoke! I’m glad it didn’t bother you. I would have been crushed. However, I probably would have confronted them, asked them where they lived and who their parents were then gone to talk to the parents or called the police for harassment just to make an example out of them to hopefully stop this behavior in the future. I don’t take these things very lightly. So, better it happened to you than me, I suppose.
BTW, you in no way looked fat in that outfit. You look great! I still strive to be you when I grow up! Not to mention, you are the strongest chick I know.
Aww man. I am sorry to make you think that 🙁 Well, to compare us to each other. We’re both badass, strong runners. Who cares what those stupid kids think! Ha ha ha. And I love that you would have confronted them and talked to their parents. Like when Jen1 said she followed those kids on the bikes to their house. LOL.
Thanks 🙂
Are you kidding me? I mean, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What are these people thinking? I am so glad you have this attitude and I am so glad you are able to bring this up because it is just so wrong. And by wrong, I don’t mean un-PC wrong, but more just what is our society’s obsession with size and bodies? And, yes it does say more about them than you, but why do we judge people based on size? Whether thin or thick, people do it all the time and make assumptions about others. I could theorize a lot more on the implications of doing it while you are running, but I won’t. As a social scientists, this stuff fascinates me. Oh and GOOD FOR YOU!
It kind of fascinates me too. Especially since there are lots of places in the world where being heavier shows signs of wealth and comfort. I read a book once that talked about how women are always trying to take up less space, be smaller, and unheard… I mean, some people are naturally small, but the way it put it… gah. It bothers me. I want to be fit, strong, and LOUD. I want to be noticed. LOL.
I’m glad you know those comments are a reflection of the insecure asses those people are and have nothing to do with you. Are those metallic? Very cool in a Star Wars sort of way!
Really? You NEIGHBOR shouts things? I think some egging is in order…
Not metallic, but very “futuristic!” LOL.
Yeah, my neighbor likes to shout at me. And half the time, he slurs and I don’t know what he is saying… but I made that comment out. Ha ha.
I’m late to the party here, and I think I’ve alluded to this before. Growing up, i was Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. My dad called me husky. I was made fun of all through middle school and most of High School.
My parents didn’t help me understand portion control, set limits, or teach me a healthy diet. I think forever in my mind, no matter what shape I’m in, I’m always going to be one moment away from returning to that.
Not sure how this fully comes back to the present, but I hate bullies.
You are fabulous 🙂
How did you finally learn all that stuff on your own and stick to it?
Thanks 🙂
I think some kids are such jerks. It really bothers me that people would say anything like that. Especially when it isn’t true. I am glad it didn’t bother you. I think I am with you on it making me more sad about them than anything else. For someone to think that is an acceptable way to act makes no sense to me.
Middle school kids are the worst. As are sketchy dudes who hang out by the bus station I run past. I don’t want people to comment about me when I’m running no matter what they have to say! I’m not there for their entertainment, thank you very much. Street harassment or bullying or whatever you want to call it from kids is almost expected, sadly. From adults, though, just tells me that they have very little regard for anyone but themselves.