A fuller day
How did you end up where you live today?
I followed a boy, tee hee.
Guys! It was Steven! Ha ha.
After four years of a long distance relationship, I was anxious to actually see Steven on a daily basis! So when I graduated from Iowa State University in 2007, I moved to Chicagoland, where architecture jobs were fruitful at the time. Steven had a townhome in the suburbs, closer to where he worked. I got a job in Chicago, 50 miles from our home, and commuted five days a week.
In 2008 I switched to my current job, and in spring of 2012 they started allowing us to work from home most days a week.
Holy cow.
What a difference it made in the fullness of my day.
When I was commuting to the city so much, the three-hour commute* took up most of the non-work free time in my day. Monday-Friday was all about work. I didn’t feel like I had time to go out with Steven or do social things with friends in the evening.
Things are so different now! When I work from home, I’m usually working 6:30-4:00. I sometimes wake up and run, then work, then have all that time in the evening for whatever! I help Steven with packages, teach class, we go to movies, sometimes I see friends…
I just feel like work doesn’t define my Monday-Friday anymore. Like I said… my days feel fuller. I work and get to do some fun things I want to do too. Not saying I dislike my job – I don’t! It’s just nice to have time for me during the week.
I have just been thinking about how grateful I am for that, this week** and wanted to share something… happy. I hope this program keeps going!
*And this commute is my choice, so I don’t blame anyone for how low it takes me to get to work.
**And the other perks, like saving money on clothes, eating food out of my kitchen, getting up and randomly poking Data from time to time.
Themocracy
I ran away from a boy. And my family. haha!
When my first husband and I split, I felt really really judged. No one saw the person I saw when they looked at him – they saw this perfect prince charming and how on EARTH could I leave him. Sigh. So I ran.
I picked here because I had just finished my last year of school here and I had friends here – it was an easy choice, far enough away but not too far.
And then I found a better boy 🙂
I’m glad your days feel fuller now – it’s tough when it feels like work consumes your life. And I get to see you more too!
What a familiar story Bobbi 😉 Hugs!
We really need to hang out Bobbi. We have very similar stories 🙂
I like your story. And I like that you found a better boy. And I like even more that you did what was good for you.
OMG, I have a similar story too! Except that we were engaged, not married (thank goodness). But my mom called my moving to Chicago to get away from him “erratic,” and couldn’t fathom why I’d leave such a “catch” as my ex. Uh, because he was an asshole.
“Uh, because he was an asshole.” YES!
I am surprised at how many people have similar stories! It’s kind of cool, considering how absolutely ALONE I felt at the time. And I wouldn’t change any of it – it all brought me here 🙂
EXACTLY. I’m glad I met that dipshit because I don’t think anything else would have motivated me to move here like that experience did, and it led to me meeting so many awesome people.
I felt pretty alone too though, so I get that. On paper, he really was a catch, and settling down at that time seemed like what I should do, so walking away and starting over was hard. But obviously the best thing I’ve ever done.
It’s awesome that you were both strong enough to get away from someone not right for you (or anyone) and gain so much from the move!
That sucks so hard that no one saw what you did. Not even a close friend? I am so happy you came here! And I did too, later! <3
Nope. No one saw til much later. But eventually the people who mattered to me realized the reality, and it was all good 🙂 I was thankful for the time away from them so that could happen in a natural way, instead of me trying to force it down their throats…
I followed a boy too! I cannot imagine a three hour commute. No wonder your days feel a bit fuller now!
I also followed a boy! 16 years ago we sat on a rock along the Newport, RI coastline to discuss what a Navy life would entail. Over these years we have relocated 5 times, which is a drop in the bucket compared to many military families. I have learned the art of job hunting, made easier by changing careers in 2008 😉 Nursing is a great relation job where social worker is not! We are set to transfer June 2014. This move is pending a request for extension……it’s a hurry and submit your paperwork and wait game now 😉 It’s difficult not to worry about when and where we will go next, especially with this being the first move with all of these people!!
Currently, I’m getting ready to return to work. I’m anxious and excited. My work is an important part of what makes me, me.
I hope you get to stay here for a while 🙂
Ooo! I am excited for you getting ready to go back to work.
NOT excited about the transfer 😉
I had long distance story too to get here! TL:DR Moved to Chicago, weekend visits to Michigan every weekend for a few years. Get married, here we are!
I had one job where I telecommuted, but it was a start up and was the worst idea ever. If I was awake, I was working. Now with my current job, solid 8 hours and PEACE OUT! They aint got time for OT anymore bwahah
Part of my job is to help agencies decide if they want to do mobility (telecommute) and one of the “benefits” cited is that people work more than in the office. I am SO happy I work somewhere where I am not expected to put in those extra hours because I am at home!
I followed a boy too, but to be fair he followed me first! 😉
The commute and feeling like your whole week belongs to work is all too familiar. Getting home at 6pm, running, eating dinner and then getting ready to do it all again the next day is a drag. It’s hard to squeeze in anything fun let alone the necessary things like cleaning and grocery shopping.
But we chose to live where we do so I can’t complain too much. 😉 And we make the most of our weekends, that’s for sure.
We do adapt though! I trained for my first marathon (among other things) on that schedule and somehow made it work. Now when I get home after a commute I am all “eff it!” LOL. That is why it is good that I have a class on my usual in office day.
Blah. I’d give anything to shorten my commute and spend more time with my wife and kids. I’ve been keeping one eye open for quite some time, but nothing ever pans out. So for now I just have to be happy having a job I only sort of enjoy. Some morning when we’re running I’ll tell you how I ended up here.
I’d love to hear about it! 🙂
I followed friends and was chasing jobs in the DC area. I lived in a crappy townhouse (in s shady neighborhood, but I didn’t realize it then) with 2 girls I didn’t know (but who were friends of a friend). I did get my DC job after a year and also met my husband. I’ve been in the DC area for 10 years next month!
Thank you for reminding of this. I have been very down on my job lately. BUT I have to remind myself that at least I am home. I am not wasting 30 hours a week travelling across the country. I am in my own home, cooking my own food, sleeping in my bed every night, and getting to have a life!
You are welcome! The comfort of home does make the rough days better!
Oh, how did I end up in FW? The surface story was that I followed a job but the deeper one was that I was running. Running from a life that wasn’t satisfying, a place where I felt threatened and scared, a place where I felt alone, a place that made me feel lost. And then I found a boy and running and made myself here. Physically, Indiana. In the bigger picture, here is a place where it’s exciting to see what’s to come and where we’ll go. Hmm, hmm.
This is so great to hear!!! I came for a job, but stayed in Chicago for a boy. 🙂
So yeah, unlike you, I came to Chicago to get away from a boy. But I picked Chicago specifically because I had visited my two high school friends who lived here (Jessie and another gal) a few weeks earlier, and Jessie told me I could come out and stay with them whenever I needed a break. That helped me get the hell out of my bad relationship, and I just fell in love with the city. I slept on an air mattress in their spare room, applied for like 20 jobs a day and found my current job within about a month! And here I am, 9 years later….
I was just talking with Bob the other day about how weird it would be if I actually had to be in my office more than once a week (or at all – no one really cares). When I was commuting, my day started at 5:30am and I’d be gone until at least 6:30 at night, later if I worked more than 8 hours. Like you, I could barely manage anything other than work then. Not having to commute definitely gave me a lot more time for other things, and really cut down on my stress! Anymore, I really only come into the office if I have after-work run or dinner plans up here 🙂
Does thinking about that make you not want to look for a new job, like, ever? Or, it would have to be a lot closer? The flexibility, telework, and alternate work schedule (along with great benefits) makes me think I will never leave, even though we live so far away!
Yeah, I mean I miss the idea of working in an office full-time, but my office isn’t what it used to be. Most of my friends at work are remote too, so I come in and don’t really talk to anyone. But we don’t have that “great benefits” thing you speak of 🙂
I ended up in Chicago because of a job. Never, ever thought I would live here but it turns out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. I may not love my job but I have so many more outside-of-my-job opportunities that I wouldn’t have if I’d stayed in Champaign.
And you have met so many great people! 🙂 (not that you wouldn’t have there…)
I went back for my boy!
We met in high school and hung out with mutual friends our senior year. I had a big crush on him, but he was dating my friend at the time. We did go to a dance together our sophomore year and he didn’t even compliment me on my dress. That’s a long story for another time.
Anyway, my boy and my friend eventually broke it off. We started dating the summer after our freshman year in college. He went to IIT in the city and I went to Syracuse in upstate New York. We managed to make the long distance relationship work and he came up to visit me once or twice during each school year.
I moved back to our hometown after college ended and we’ve been there ever since. He has since completed grad school and I bought a house in 2011.
Unfortuantely, I work in the city so I do know the downsides of a long commute. Now if only I could convince the powers that be to let me work from home!
Aww, I like your story! I have to ask… are you still friends with the girl he used to date? 🙂
I do wish more companies were cool about letting people work from home 🙂
Yup, we’re still friends! I’d love to work from home. I can already think of all the things I could get done before and after work! 🙂
Not having to do a long commute works WONDERS for life. I used to commute out to Oak Brook, which would take 45 minutes each direction on a GOOD day and up and 90 minutes each way on a bad day. It sucked up so much time and energy sitting in traffic, not to mention all the focus on trying to beat rush hour, avoid road construction or car accidents, etc. Now that I have a much shorter commute, it’s amazing how many more things I can get done on a daily basis! Work out? Cook? Grocery shop? Laundry? Check, check, check, check! =D
I ended up here because I grew up here. I’ve always lived in the Chicago area, why would I ever want to leave?? Luckily I met a nice boy here 🙂 and the majority of our families are still here too. And there are ample jobs and other stuff. Good place to be.
But I stayed in the suburbs for as long as I did after college because of Robert.
I followed a boy too!! I’ve followed him all over, even to Europe!!!
This is such a happy post! I’m glad you like your new routine and enjoy your days so much. It sounds like you have something to look forward to most, if not all, days, and I think that’s awesome! In fact, I might try to incorporate that into my own life (which is full of negativity, which I just shared in another comment)!
I wonder if moving to San Francisco counts as me following Harrison or him following me. Hmm….
I think having something to look forward to each day is really important for me… I love schedule and routine but hate feeling like I am a robot, just following it… now I have to find that other comment.
I think that counts as a joint decision!
I met a girl… and she already had a house she had owned for 14 years. Some day, we’ll buy a place in both of our names, but for now, it’s a good place to be (except for the traffic we get as we live off a major road in Salt Lake valley).
As for your job routine, I am highly jealous of your work schedule. I know it took some years to get to that point, but it’s nice that it has.
We have a VP of IT who works from his home near Boston, yet thinks it’s out of the question for any of us to work from home. Yet some in our IT dept work from home a lot. It’s a very fragmented situation.
I wish they were more open to it in your office. It seems like working from home would work really well for some IT positions!