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By kilax, July 10, 2013 6:40 am

Awhile ago I mentioned that I wanted to write a post about the different versions of our personality that we may take on depending on who we’re around. I was thinking about it after I ran the Chicago Women’s Half with Anne, because Anne and I can be super sarcastic together*, and I am not that sarcastic with anyone else**. And honestly, I think if was that sarcastic with most others, it wouldn’t come off right. People would probably think I am a jerk!***

So why do I act that way around Anne?

Well, duh, because it’s fun to be sarcastic and ridiculous and poke fun at things (and each other) and because Anne gives me cues that this is okay. I read off of her personality and react accordingly.

Goofing around with Anne and Marlene after class on Monday

Of course, I could go in to complete mind trip mode and ponder, “Well, what if Anne is just reading off of my personality and neither of us are being genuine and we are just stuck in a giant loop, ahhhh!” but it’s not that complicated. And we aren’t that fake. Heh.

So. Back to the point. I do act different depending on who I am around. I am inherently very goofy/silly, with a sarcastic sense of humor and a snarky side. I am friendly****, open and LOUD. But I definitely don’t act that way around everyone. I mean, I would prefer to, but I just don’t think that would always jive.

There are people who have told me they think I am nice and positive (gasp), and that definitely affects how I act around them. I want to keep tricking them for as long as possible!***** So they don’t really get as much of my snarky side.

Some people I know are super serious a lot more serious than me. So I usually quiet down my goofy side until I get a hint that they would understand it. Then I let it out in small doses.

Some people… sigh. With some people, it just seems to be a waste to spend any time sharing personal information about yourself with them. They just don’t care (despite being in a role in your life where you think they would… and despite you showing interest in them). I am usually quieter around these people. Much more guarded.

Some people never say anything bad about anyone else, so I feel like I can’t discuss a frustrating relationship situation, because it makes me look judgmental. Oops. I am judgemental (like everyone else?). I am probably just trying to supress that.

And with some people, I feel so comfortable around them, that I am 100% myself all the time, and almost never feel bad about it. These tend to be the people in my life who (among other things) I count on to call me out on my crap, who I feel comfortable calling them out on theirs, and who I feel I can be completely open about my feelings with. Last week I was feeling left out and weird about two of my close friends hanging out. And for no real reason. We all get along great, we do stuff together or break off in a pair all the time. And I am not the jealous/FOMO type. Like… at all. But the feeling was there. And I didn’t like it. So I told one of them about it. And we talked about how silly it is, but that you sometimes you just have that feeling. And I felt fine, after I said something. That made me really grateful I have (a lot of) people in my life with whom I can be so honest/my true self!

Wow. This is really long. And probably makes no sense.

So tell me, what are the different versions of your personality? Does it bother you when you feel like you have to supress your innate personality?

Disclaimer! There are a lot more situations that I could include to explain this. And I could go a lot more in depth with the ones I provided. But yeah. You need to get on with your day.

*We have real convos from time to time, too.
**Except, as I mentioned in the previous post, my husband’s brother.
***This has been confirmed.
****Most of the time.
*****Trying to be funny.

Comments (36)

By kilax, July 9, 2013 4:08 pm

When you are looking at a new-to-you blog, what are the first things you check for to see if you want to continue reading it? What are the things that turn you off?*

I noticed that my 100 Things About Me page gets quite a bit of daily traffic, and thought, “Gosh, maybe I should review that page** and make sure it is accurate… as I wrote it in 2005!” Geesh! That was a looooong time ago!

One of the first things I look at when I read a new blogger is their “about me” info and their location. Location is a big deal for me. If they live close to me, or in an area I am interested in, chances are I am going to continue reading their blog (and by that, I mean add it to my rss feed, and hopefully remember why I subscribed to it). Edited to add – this does not mean I don’t read blogs written by people who don’t live near me. I’m just more likely to start reading a blog because of proximity. 

I like it when I am on a new-to-me blog and I can find this info right away – I have very limited amounts of time to waste on the internet, and must do it efficiently… riiiiiiiiiiight.

But I do think about that in relationship to my blog, so I keep a little introduction widget in my sidebar, to make that information quick to find.

I also think about not leaving whiny posts at the top of my page for two long. Because, yeah. I don’t want that to be the first post someone reads. That is another good question  – when you are looking at new-to-you blogs, how far back in posts do you read, to see if you want to “follow” the blog?

This all implies I am looking for new reads. Of course not! You guys know I am spending ALL of my free time studying. All of it!!!

Um…

*Yeah. Not posting THAT list here.
**Added to list of things to do after July 25th exam.

Comments (21)

By kilax, July 8, 2013 10:55 am

Highlight of the Week: Hanging out with Mica and Harrison all weekend! Oops! Not (entirely) running related. But I don’t care. Ha ha. Mica and Harrison got married in May and are taking a road trip – Wedding Victory Tour (WVT) – across the U.S. (and Canada) to see friends and family this summer. Steven and I were super excited they made a stop in our town to hang out with us for a few days!!! We had a lot of fun. Check out the WVT blog for Mica’s posts about it!

As a side note – you should hopefully see less of me the next 2.5 weeks as I prepare for my ACE exam on July 25th. Seriously. If you see me too much online, call me out on that crap. I need to study. Ha ha. 

Monday | July 1, 2013: 4 m run + teaching strength class
Loc: hood, Temp: 77°/77°, Time: 37:37, Pace: 9:24 avg, Difficulty: medium, Felt: decent enough
Strength: bars and boxing, Difficulty: easy (mostly instructional), Felt: peppy
Tuesday | July 2, 2013: rest
Wednesday | July 3, 2013: strength class + 2.2 m run (w/Ed)
Strength: dumbbells, body bars and A LOT OF CORE, Difficulty: medium/hard, Felt: um… not like a personal trainer
Loc: Grayslake, Temp: 69°/69°, Time: 21:00, Pace: 9:33 avg, Difficulty: easy, Felt: why so humid?
Thursday | July 4, 2013: 8 m run (5 m “Spartan“* w/EFIT + 3 m run)
*description in bullet below
Loc: Grayslake, Temp: 65°/72°, Time: 1:08:41, Pace: 13:43 avg, Difficulty: easy/medium, Felt: enthusiastic (after I woke up)
Loc: Grayslake, Temp: 72°/75°, Time: 31:13, Pace: 10:03 avg, Difficulty: easy then hard then easy, Felt: bonky
Friday | July 5, 2013: 4 m run
Loc: Rollins Savanna FP, Temp: 63°/67°, Time: 41:34, Pace: 10:23, Difficulty: easy, Felt: bloated/crampy
Saturday | July 6, 2013: rest
Sunday | July 7, 2013: 3 m run (w/Mica)
Loc: hood, Temp: 75°/77°, Time: 31:36, Pace: 10:31 avg, Difficulty: easy, Felt: okay

Notes:

• Oddly enough, I have felt like I want to be around people when I do my solo runs lately. So on Monday, I ran circles on the .5 mile track at the park near my house… so I could do some people watching. Anyone else ever feel like they want to be around people when they run?
• I joined my multisport club for a “Spartan” run Thursday morning – basically, their practice (I am not participating) for an upcoming Spartan race! We ran from park to park and would stop at the parks to do burpees, pushups, jumps on to benches, monkey bars… we also found some tires to jump in and out of (and do burpess and pushups on) and some huge steps to run up and down. We also ran up and down hills, over rocks… etc. It was a fun workout! I ran three “regular” miles after and totally bonked halfway through that run, and had to sit on a bench for awhile (and that was after taking a GU and a Shot Gel earlier). Geesh. I must have been under fueled… or something. 
• On Friday I ran “by myself” in a park but ran in to a few people I know from my running club. Love when that happens!
• I am NOT a summer runner, but I am getting much better at tolerating the heat, and love that completely sweated out, exhausted feeling after a hot run. 
• I am really close to my 1000 miles from the year – at 969.35! Think I will hit 1000 this week?

Comments (37)

By kilax, July 4, 2013 7:22 pm

So, I wrongly assumed that everyone’s childhood involved attending parades. Because, yeah, mine did. BUT THEN! I found out my husband NEVER went to parades as a kid. NEVER! What did he do on Memorial Day/Independence Day/random city celebrations?! I HAVE NO IDEA!

Oops. Sorry for all the shouting. 

Was attending parades part of your childhood experience?

Last week, I was in Guttenberg, Iowa, where my Grandma lives year-round, and my parents have a cabin that they mostly visit during the summer. Guttenberg’s Independence Day celebration was that Saturday, and we planned to attend the parade, but had a minor issue – we had no children with us. How were we supposed to collect candy?

At first, we talked about how it might be more beneficial to sit near the children, and grab some of the candy that the paraders (word?) naturally threw their way. 

But then we decided we would just look like a-holes stealing candy from kids!

Heh. 

So we kind of sat off a bit. 

And my family encouraged me to beg and dance for candy. 

It worked. 

Most of the time. 

The funny thing is, my grandma kept talking about how she really wanted to get candy at the parade… but how she never eats it a home because it’s so bad for you. Ha ha ha. She was being really funny about it! I think she said she ate at least 15 or 20 (little) tootsie rolls at the parade. 

Also, in Iowa, they throw meat and cheese at you. During parades.  

And one more note… the awesome thing about being an adult – I can buy candy and eat it WHENEVER I want! Muah ha ha. I mean, of course, I rarely do… (riiiiiight)

Comments (47)

By kilax, July 3, 2013 5:40 am

Guys, I have been meaning to ask you an important question – if two bloggers meet for lunch and don’t take a photo and blog about it, did it really happen?!?!*

Ha ha ha.

I’m teasing myself here – I usually meet a blogger once a week for lunch but haven’t been taking photos of these lunch dates, and it feels weird. But I tend to get a bit fixated on documenting memories. I’ve been continuing my beginning of the month digital photo frame exercise, and I probably look forward to it a bit more than I should. So I think restraining from taking photos of everything (especially selfies?) is probably good for me.

Meghan recently recapped her weekend and said about her Saturday, “It was one of those days that the conversation just flowed and we were chatting and having such a great time that the camera or phone didn’t make it out of my bag once to take a picture.”

I read that and thought, I need more days like that! I need to quit thinking so much about taking photos! And just live! Every interaction does NOT need to be documented**.

Are you more likely to take too many photos or too few?

It’s nice that Steven has the fancy schmany camera now – I barely thought about taking photos when we were in Iowa over the weekend – Steven took care of it!

*Or should the question be, if two bloggers meet for lunch, take a photo and DON’T share it on social media, did it really happen? Ha ha.
**You’re still stuck with my training recap pics though!

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By kilax, July 2, 2013 6:36 am

No, not Flo! Ha ha. 

Do you ever end at a thought and wonder “how the heck did I get here?” Then you backtrack through your thought process, and yes, somehow the starting thought lead to something COMPLETELY random. 

This is how I think, most of the time. If anyone knows it the best (after my husband), it is probably Erin. We’re having a seemingly normal conversation, then one things she says somehow connects to something else, so I have to share it. “This doesn’t relate, but when you said xyz it made me think of it…” or “Not to change the subject, but I’m going to…”

I’m not the only one who does this… right?

Hee hee. I know I am not. Even last night, Steven asked me something completely random, and when I asked him why he thought of that, he shared the leading thoughts that got him to that question. I thought it was fun to get a peek in to his thought process. I’m nosy like that. 

Anyway. So that is how my thought process flows. 

And what is funny (to me) is that the whole reason I am sharing this with you is NOT because of the question that Steven asked me last night, but because of some random thoughts that lead me to it. 

I tried to get to bed before 10:00 last night, because I was meeting friends for an early run this morning. But I was up late with a sick cat and Twitter drama*, so this morning, I felt exhausted and canceled the run. And felt like a complete jerk, despite knowing that they would understand. 

So I was coming here to post the question “which is worse – feeling exhausted all day because you got up too early to work out** or getting the sleep and not feeling exhausted, but feeling guilty that skipped a workout?”

Then I was thinking about blah blah blahing about how I am not getting enough sleep, stay up too late in the summer, can’t get up to exercise, blah blah blah, but who cares? I just posted about that. And again… who cares?

But I did think I wanted to share this “12 Things Happy People Do Differently” list my friend Denise shared on Facebook, which I am sure you have all seen – 

I was going to point out #12 – taking care of your body. And how, geesh, I really need to do that. That would make me feel happier. 

But I decided to read the list again, and had to stop at #8. Increase flow experiences?! Huh?! I had never even heard that phrasing before. Although, their description of it – a state in which it feels like time stands still and you are so focused on what you are doing you become one with the task – sounds really nice. 

Um… yeah. I rarely get to that state. I seem to be in a constant state of distraction. And I kind of really dislike that about me. 

Anyway. I started thinking about how the “flow” on that list is not how my mind “flows”… and yeah. Here we are. 

And THIS is why you get such random posts from me!

Ooh! Look! Squirrel!

*Which is funny, since I am not even on there.
**And in theory, this might help with the exhaustion.

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By kilax, July 1, 2013 12:06 pm

Looking through photos from our September 2007 wedding, and selecting a few prints for my mom’s mom***, I thought “Holy crap – do I even talk to half of these people any more?!”

As common as that is – to be situationally close to someone – it still makes me feel a bit guilty about those people no longer being in my life. 

Xaarlin shared a blog post with me the other day, where the blogger was lamenting the fact that her childhood (through high school) bestie and her sort of didn’t click like they used to, after they went to college and had completely different experiences, and became quite different people, themselves. 

This is jaded, but when I was reading that, I was thinking “Isn’t that common? Don’t people naturally move in and out of friendships as they go through life?”

Are you very close with anyone you “grew up” with? Have you faded out of any “situational” friendships?

I forget that it is possible to maintain close ties with friends from youth. Steven has a cool group of guy friends that he has known since kindergarten, and they more or less keep in touch. Ha ha – I think it might just be me who has failed at this. 

I’ve also failed to maintain very close ties with college friends* (other than Facebook). I look at those wedding photos and think of what a struggle it was for me to find bridesmaids**. Is that sad, or what?!

Anyway. I think about this in relationship to my friendships now. How would the “local” friendships change if I moved to another state and didn’t see them as often? Will they become a situational friendship of the past?

I actually think they wouldn’t. I am a lot closer with people now, and keeping good people in my life is important to me, so I (would) work hard… to make it work. 

The interesting thing is that friendships formed via blogs seem to last the longest for me, since the relationship formed virtually, I know it can be maintained virtually, if need be!

*But… I was not SUPER close with anyone, so I think it would be different had I had a college “bestie.”
**The strange thing is, now I think I would have a hard time deciding who to ask, lest I wanted a party of 10+ standing up with me!
***I couldn’t decide so I sent her these three:

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By kilax, July 1, 2013 6:11 am

What places did you visit as a child that you would love to visit again as an adult?

Hmm, probably… MOST of them?

But especially nature areas, like the Grand Canyon, which I am assuming this late 80s photo is from*:

I’m still sporting the same hairstyle!

It’s amazing how much your perception and experience of/at a space changes as, well, you gain more life experience. I remember feeling drawn to nature as a child, enjoying spending time outdoors, but I doubt I appreciated it the way I do now. Even within the past few years, that love for the great outdoors has dramatically increased. It’s dorky, but when people come to visit us, the things I find myself proudly pointing out to them are the forest preserves, trails, lakes and bogs (well, bog, singular). 

Anywho. With many of my friends taking road trips this summer, I’m thinking back to a few of the road trips my family took growing up, and hoping that Steven and I have a chance to take some trips like that of our own… even to see some of the same places… someday!

Question for you parents out there… when planning destination travel for you and your children, do you think about how much of the trip they’ll remember? I’ve always wondered about that, as I think a lot about the collection of memories and experience. For the most common example, would you rather take your children to Disney World when they are young, so they can enjoy the experience (and magic of being there as a quite young child) but might not remember it as much later? Or would you rather wait until they are older and might remember it more?

I’m really curious about that, because I know I saw a lot of neat places as a child, but don’t remember them the way I would if I went there now. So, like I said… it just fuels my desire to travel/explore and makes me want to go back!

*UPDATED: My dad thinks the pic is probably Bryce Canyon. I wasn’t sure! They took us to the Grand Canyon, too.