Will a social media diet rid me of my desire for instant gratification?
Most likely answer: no. But! It’s a nice thought.
I know, I know, I talk about this all the dang time. Hear me out! Or, skip this post. Hee hee.
We all know we live in a society that expects instant gratification. Coworkers who want you to work on a task for them right this very instant. Fad diets that promise losing xx amount of weight in the first week of the diet. Buying something right now even though it would make sense to save money for it.
I’m not going to pretend I am above instant gratification. I’m not. While it’s not what this post is about, that is (one of) the reason(s) I have a hard time keeping weight off after I lose it – if I want to eat something, I want to eat as much of it as I want. And right now. I’m adult. I do what I want!
But. Back on topic. Instant gratification and social media. And specifically, the more “live” social medias – Facebook and Twitter.*
Topic 1:
Let’s be real. It’s nice to use these platforms to “connect” with people and form a community, but I think a large part of why we use these sites (and I am only talking about my experience with Facebook since I don’t use Twitter) is for instant gratification and validation that what we are doing, thinking, eating, whatever, is cool. Right? It’s not the only reason, but we would be lying to ourselves if we said it didn’t feel good to have someone instantly “like” our status or picture or whatever.
And really, there is nothing wrong with that.
Unless you are dependent on it.
And I don’t actually have anyone in mind or think I am dependent on it. But I’ve found myself taking breaks from Facebook when I am not by my computer all day. I could look at it on my phone, but that stresses me out (which I will get to below). And, like I have said, those breaks are nice. It feels nice to live life and not be live-posting what I am doing (not that I was that bad about it). It’s nice to share things later, or catch up with people later. I only looked at Facebook for a few minutes this weekend, because people were texting me that they saw something I was tagged in, and I wanted to see what it was. I looked quickly, and got off. I was with my family and wanted to spend time with them. I could look at Facebook later (which I finally got around to Monday afternoon).
This makes me sound like a social media hater, and I’m really not, it’s just something I have been thinking about. It feels good to disconnect and not feel like I need to rush to post something and get instant gratification from it. I get gratification from doing things I want… sharing them with other people is just a bonus.
But. I don’t think this will cure my need for instant gratification for other things in my life. Ha. Prime example – I thought of this on my run and immediately had to go home, write it, and publish it. Could I have waited? Of course. But if there is one thing I am not, it is patient. Sigh.
Topic 2:
Okay, so why does looking at Facebook on my phone stress me out so much? The app is just not as robust as the computed based platform. If I get on to share something, I feel like I should “give back” and look at what other people are up to, as well. Because, duh, it’s a community. Why would I expect people to ever interact with the drivel I post if I don’t interact with them as well? It’s kind of like… if you want blog comments, you need to comment on other people’s blog and create relationships. But, that is a different topic. Oops.
So, as silly as it is, it makes me feel bad to log on to post my thing and ignore what everyone else is up to. Which is why the Facebook Pages app is nice – it only shows me my blog page! Ha. But that feels like cheating.
And this is also why I avoid Twitter – I know I would try to keep up with everything, and feel the need to be on it on my phone, all the time. I love my phone and how useful it is, but I don’t need to have my face in it all the time.
*No, I am not on Twitter. Yes, I know what Twitter is and how it works – despite asking why someone would put a number sign (“hashtag”) in front of a song last week. I just thought that song thing was so dumb I couldn’t figure out why it would be done. Moving on…
Themocracy
How about instagram? That might be to much for you. But it is fun.
Oh yeah! Forgot about that one. But you are right – too much. Especially since you have to use it on your phone… right?
Yes mostly but you can also access it online.
I definitely don’t work with people who wait weeks to send me something that needs to be done RIGHT NOW. I can’t relate to that part at all.
I think, like everything else, social media is good in moderation. Sharing a quick picture/status update while you’re on vacation? Sure! But posting an album of 100 vacation pictures while you’re on vacation? Sad. I lurk a lot on FB, but don’t share much of my everyday mundane crap, because it’s just that. I think some people spend way too much time crafting their online persona (though I guess this goes back to that privacy article you linked this morning), but also making it seem like EVERYTHING they do is awesome. When’s the last time someone posted a picture of a good sandwich on FB? Never. Because it was THE MOST AWESOME SANDWICH EVER.
I know this isn’t what you’re asking about, but one reason that I like Twitter is that I can tweet something and then forget about it. If someone likes/responds to it, cool. And if not, I don’t really care. I think part of that is due to how fast Twitter moves, which means your post moves to the bottom of someone’s feed really quickly, rather than on FB, where it may just linger for a while. And I’m friends with different people on each platform. Twitter is mostly friends I’ve met through my blog, so I share different things than I do on FB, which is friends, judgy family and co-workers.
I agree with Anne about Twitter vs. FB on all counts.
I also appreciate her sarcasm in the first line. Maybe I should go check out her blog and/or find her on twitter. 😉
Ha ha ha. Well, obviously, everything I do is awesome. I am better than good. I am better than great. Duh. You are too. 😛
But I hear what you are saying. Sigh. Online personas. It does relate to that article. And I just don’t care to “craft” mine. I am who I am.
I find it interesting that that is your approach to Twitter. And that you are okay with it. And you bringing up how fast it moves is why I think it would make me nuts! 😉
Ahh, judgy family. Luckily I don’t have that. Ha! But it sounds like we use the two platforms differently. I avoid coworkers on Facebook and have most blog friends and running club friends on there.
We are, and not just because some shirt says so 🙂 Obviously I didn’t mean us, because everything we do actually is awesome.
I wouldn’t say I craft mine either, but because of who can see my FB (since I’m too lazy to make lists of who can see what) I just don’t post much. And I don’t want to bore people. But this reminds me that while I was reading your post last night (and getting a FB message from you, haha), my boss was posting stuff about legalizing marijuana. I find it really cool that she doesn’t care what people think.
And I can see that’s one reason you probably wouldn’t get on Twitter, because it does move really fast! I don’t always see everything, but I like how easy it is to just jump into conversations with people.
I saw that comic the other day and it made me laugh. It definitely seems to ring true with some people I follow on social media. Luckily, none of my friends (me included) fall into that category! I was just thinking the other day how annoyed I would be if my friends were glued to their phones when we hung out. I try to keep my phone-checking (usually twitter and instagram) to a minimum when I’m with family/friends. I mostly check it when I’m at home or on the train.
When I’m on vacation I try to stay off the internet completely but I’m learning that’s a lot more difficult when my phone is so convenient. At least when I was in Europe last month my phone didn’t work at all so I wasn’t even tempted by it!
Also, the FB app stresses me out because it takes forever to load things and I get annoyed. I also rarely update FB (unless I race because I think a lot of people I am friends with would want to know, including my high schoool cross country coach).
Instagram is my jam. The others can be overwhelming at times, but I’m so in love with INstagram – it’s easy peasy, and fun!
I have facebook, instagram, and twitter and I only really keep up with instagram. I never check my twitter and right now, I’m trying really hard not to use facebook for anything other than to check updates and birthdays because every so often I fall into the comparison trap and start feeling bad about myself… not cool. But, I do feel slightly disconnected (in a bad way) because I don’t know exactly what people have been up to. Sigh.
You will know what the important people in your life are up to because they will tell you/you will ask outside of FB 🙂
I feel like an information junkie. I do have facebook, but find I spend WAY more time on reddit.com (set up my own community there, womp). Thankfully, I don’t get the opportunity to lose myself into too much at home as my family keeps me honest. I use facebook, but that doesn’t usually take more than a few minutes of my time. Its mostly a way to keep in touch with my old network of friends back out east and such.
YES! Information Junkie! I love knowing “new” things. Hmm. I wonder how many are like us?! LOL
So earlier this week Erin mentioned on Twitter that she had to explain to a fellow blogger what a hashtag was after I mentioned my coworker asked me “What is this Twitter thing?”. Turns out that was you. hehe
When I am with someone on the weekend I am much more likely to put my phone away and ignore social media. I’ve even let myself feel guilty over not reading or posting for several days at a time, but I’ve realized that is really stupid. I only have a limited amount of time to interact with these people in real life so I should take every advantage of it. If something important happens I will hear about it, but I don’t need to check up on every tweet/facebook post out there.
I guess! She was one of the people who explained that the number sign was just the Twitter hashtag reference (and I knew what a hashtag was – I must be the only one who thinks that is a silly thing to put in a song title).
I also guess it would be good to get on Twitter to see if people are talking about me. Nah. I don’t care 😉
Yes – exactly. Spend time with people. Not devices. Hee hee.
No it is weird to put a hashtag in a song title. I think its weird when people use hashtags anywhere outside of twitter. Like on facebook, that’s just dumb.
The reason I got on twitter is because I was annoyed with people on facebook whining/bragging/in general annoying me, but I’ve since blocked a lot of those from my news feed so I don’t have to read it anymore.
It makes me so relieved to hear someone else thinks that! I think it’s silly they are adding hashtags to FB. I understand why they are on Twitter… but I didn’t think people wanted to search Facebook that way. I thought of it as a way to keep up with friends, not search for things. I think Facebook wants to be a search engine though, so this move probably makes sense to them!
I block A LOT on Facebook!
I am on Twitter, but not really “on” it. I don’t have the time to be on it. Also, FB is really suffering because we aren’t to be on it at work. Which I understand, but I miss out on so much.
Couldn’t agree more. Limiting some social media as we speak. Great post.
I suppose that I don’t care if I miss stuff on Facebook or Twitter. If I go a whole week without checking on either I don’t try to catch up later. Maybe that’s why your blog has so much more interaction! You’re really good at cultivating a community because you make it a priority. But, if cultivating an online community starts to interfere with your “real life” community then, yeah, it’s time to take a break.
That is what I am going to start doing too! Since we were out of town this weekend I didn’t want to whip my phone out to check in… and I don’t want to spend all that time on my computer when I get home!
Thanks for the compliment. I do like connecting with people here!!!
Hope you have a nice vacation!