NOT a drama queen
Naive is not typically a word I use to describe myself. Like, ever.
However, I continually find myself feeling this way, when I hear things “after the fact.” What the heck am I talking about?
Well, I have talked to enough people about this to make a huge assumption that most recreational groups are going to have some drama. And no, not talking about an acting tribe. I am talking about this definition of drama:
A way of relating to the world in which a person consistently overreacts to or greatly exaggerates the importance of benign events.
image from here
This is one of many things I was talking to my dad about during our run/bike ride Sunday morning. Presumably, you join a recreational group because you want to share a somewhat specific interest with like-minded people. You’ve probably already tried to share this interest with other people in your life, and come to the conclusion that a group targeted toward this interest would be better for you.* Following?
So it can be disappointing, when you join a group, and find yourself stressing over silly drama, and not enjoying that specific interest as much as you hoped.
And this is where I am happy to be naive. Most of the time, I am so unaware of people’s drama, that I find out about it way after the fact. Then I have that, “Geesh! I am really naive! I had no idea that was going on,” reaction. And then, I am happy for it.
Are you naive (unaware) when it comes to drama, too?
I would rather find out about something silly after it’s all said and done, than waste energy thinking about it in the moment. That is just too draining.
I have gotten some flack for saying no to things I don’t want to do and for not spending time with people I don’t click with, but honestly, doing these things keeps my life more drama free.** So, I will continue to do them. I’m selfish and I’ll admit it. My happiness and peace of mind is my #1 goal!
This all sounds really negative, and implies I am having an issue with one of the groups I am in. I’m not trying to be negative – I am celebrating my naivety. And I am not having an issue with a group I am in – because I am too naive for that, remember? Ha ha ha.
Spill it – what’s the drama in your recreational group? Or are you in some magical group where everyone plays nice and always agrees?
Ha ha. The wording of that last questions makes it sound like people should not disagree. No, they most surely can, and should. But when people make everything in to an issue, or personal attack… ugh. Get over yoself, yo. We just wanna have fun!
*So you quit pushing away these other people by always talking about the same thing, ha!
**If I were writing a how-to for staying drama free I would include those two things, and “keep gossip to a minimum.” There are things I know about people that I really don’t need to know.
Themocracy
I’ve heard before that if you get more than three XXX together, a clique is bound to form. If it’s cyclists, you quip about the slowest and the first to drop. If it’s runners and one is faster, people complain about their speedy times. I don’t really get it, we’re all out there together.
We don’t have that issue in the clubs I am in because we are very clear about pace and expectations. I’ve heard of people getting dropped though, and left behind in runs. Seems like a breakdown of communication! 🙁 I usually tell people to go ahead if I am being a slowpoke. I don’t mind 😉
I always seem to be up on drama because, apparently, people think I’m a gossip. Maybe that’s a little true 😉 Sometimes I just can’t help myself, but I generally find it annoying. You probably know that I run with a couple friends from time to time – one of them was causing SO MUCH DRAMA over the weekend (you may have noticed me venting about this in an email on Friday) both related to a run and our evening plans, and it’s just draining and frustrating to deal with, and leads to me blurting out things like “AND THIS IS WHY I HATE BEING FRIENDS WITH GIRLS!”
Thankfully, the only other recreational group I hang out with only has the drama of getting shushed at a brewery 🙂
Ha ha ha. I bet boys have SOME issues. Maybe not as many, though 😉
I am like you and avoid a lot of drama. Of course, I’m not in a lot of recreational groups but I tend to avoid the drama in my everday life (work, train, family, etc). I think of it as living in my own personal, positive little bubble. I am positive by nature and usually give people the benefit of the doubt so when I hear about drama I’m always a little surprised, especially if the drama involves people that I like and respect not getting along. So yes, I assume I am naive when it comes to that kind of stuff. Can’t we all just get along? 😉
I avoid the drama like a plague and am quite happy to report that I usually naive to the drama! 🙂
I totally get it. I try to avoid the drama, so I never have any idea what is going on until way after anyone else. I’d rather be in the dark than in the middle of the s**t storm.
I am totally like this at work, I never have any idea that drama is happening until way later. Not that I mind…
I don’t’ think it’s a bad thing to be naive when it comes to this stuff. I’m glad my son is naive when it comes to school drama, but I don’t know if that’s because he’s naive or just a boy. 🙂
I MUCH prefer to stay away from that kind of stuff. If I can’t do anything about it, I’d really rather not know. It just makes me uncomfortable around people. Sadly, it usually means I have to start distancing myself from people and that sucks.
I’m not apart of any groups mainly because I’m a loner. Ha. I do participate in fun runs sometimes and meet some people but never talk enough to get into the drama side of things. If it did, I’d avoid it. I don’t have time for that sh*t. Is this a nicely worded version of the FU post? Hehe. And catching flack for saying no to things is totes ridiculous. Seems like you were better off saying no than participating. 🙂
Ha! This all stems from that conversation with my dad, but some thoughts behind the FU post found their way in here… hee hee hee 😉
no rec groups for me. I used to be part of kickball group, but it was all about drinking and that wasn’t me.
Only drama I am involved in is my baby’s drama of – which crayon MUST BE USED RIGHT NOW!
I really liked this post. Reminded me of this point I wrote a few years back. http://nicolekesten.blogspot.com/2011/10/observations-in-hot-tub.html
I just try to “play with teh bubbles” when this stuff is going down!
Geesh! Good for him for telling that guy he shouldn’t be judging based on times! Sigh. A lot of people do, though. They don’t get that it’s not about that for everyone.
well i’ve belonged on a local message board and there hasn’t been drama in a long time (well we’re due now I think) and mostly it’s pretty peaceful.
Ohhh and my rec group, the only drama is that 1 member is getting divorced, and he was served at a club meeting. uh huh. But it’s life. he made the club his world instead of his family. and then he’s shacking up with another club member and they act like we don’t know. DUH. < = insert huge eye roll.
I’m probably naive to drama, too, because I really try to avoid getting involved in it. I try very hard to not gossip because that’s just not who I want to be, but I feel like a lot of drama gets started when people start saying things about other people. I just want everyone to get along! Haha.
I’m not in a rec group but I’ve definitely found myself trying to steer entirely true of internet drama. Sometimes I’ll hear mention of it on Twitter or somewhere and wonder what the heck everyone is all upset about but most of the time I just try to avoid delving because it’s usually really petty bullshit.
Side note: my nephew is often a drama queen but when I mention this to him he tells me in his almost-7-years-old way that “YOU ARE THE DRAMA QUEEN!” to which I reply, “Yes, I am. Takes one to know one, buddy!” 😉
Ha! Oh, Finn! He can get away with that for a few more years 😉
I don’t do drama at all. I take extra steps to avoid any possible drama situation. I have a few friends who start drama more often than I’d like to be around them for. I like them, but why the need to stir shit up? Just have fun and stop letting so much bother you.
Exactly!
(I knew you would relate to this, because of the conversation we had in person!)