It wasn’t quite what it could have been
A coworker of mine leaves next week for a two-week honeymoon in Italy. Jealous! He found out I lived in Rome for seven months in 2006 and asked if there were any places I recommended as must sees.
Don’t you love it when someone sincerely asks you specifically for a suggestion or opinion?
I sure do! Someone wants to hear what I think?! No problemo!
I rattled off a list of places to him, we discussed Italy in general, then I started working on an email with specific locations and links for each city he and his wife will be visiting.
There was only one problem.
Making this list required that I access my old blog archives from then. That is something I try to avoid. You’d think I would look at them from time to time to “relive the experience,” but I don’t. My blog at the time is a poor representation of studying and working abroad as a young person in their 20s, and damn, living there wasn’t quite what it could have been.
It was amazing, yes. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity, yes. I learned a lot about myself, yes.
But I know it could have been more.
I was adventurous. I did things that I look back on now and think “How was I brave/stupid enough to do that? How did I figure that out? How was I able to do and see so much?!”
But I know I could have been more adventurous. Sigh. If only I had the sense of adventure I had now.
And I am more outgoing now too. I did not have very close friends in college. I mostly had acquaintances. I traveled with people sometimes, but no one I talk to regularly now. I’m not really re-living the experience by chatting it up with anyone in present day (especially since I was there for the last three months by myself).
So anyway. I do not regret much in life. But I do sometimes think “I wish I could go back to living abroad and do it a bit better!” I am thankful to have had the opportunity to do it, and learn so much about myself.
What I did right – eat gelato almost every day.
And I think it is awesome that my coworker gets to go there for the first time with his wife!
Is there anything you wish you could redo a bit better? Something that wasn’t quite what it could have been?
Themocracy
I know what you mean, but don’t be too hard on yourself, Kim! If it weren’t for those experiences and the way you were back then, you wouldn’t be the wonderful person you are today!
For the most part, I don’t really think too much about it. What happened at the time (whatever time) was the way things were supposed to happen to lead me to today.
HOWEVER, if I had any idea how difficult travel was going to get for me due to my motion sickness problems I would have made way more time for it before the problem got so much worse.
Although, my best friend from college invited me backpacking across Europe with her right before I was supposed to start grad school. It would have been neat if I had gone, but I would have come back broke and depressed and living with my parents without a clue what to do next. So, right choice on that one.
My twenties.
Ahem, moving on. I think what I have learned is that you can’t look back and tease out the bad from the good. It is futile to even think that way. So try to take enjoyment from the good aspects – your memories of the beauty of Italy, and your solo encounter with a great country, the gelato…
For me, it’s more about whether there is anything I DIDN’T wish I could have redone a little better. There are very few things I’ve done that I’ve been completely, completely satisfied with.
Ah, Rome! And Italy in general! Gelato, gelato, gelato… When traveling there have only been two places in which I always come back saying I wanted to BE a NATIVE of those places – and those were Italy and Hawaii. Sigh. I’d love to hear more about your Rome experiences the next time we get together!
Aww! That makes me sad that there are so many things you wish you had done a bit differently! 🙁 I hope it is minor stuff!
And we can definitely talk more Rome talk!!! 🙂
How about most of college? Or grad school? I was so focused on getting good grades and making sure I had health insurance and could pay bills that I didn’t take any risks which I think made me miss out on a lot of life experiences. But, I was just talking to my mom about this on vacation. I wasn’t the same person then that I am now. So, like ChezJulie says, focus on the good experiences and skip the “what ifs”.
I wish I had done “more” in college as well. I was pretty quiet and shy, and college was the first time I wasn’t surrounded by people I had known for years. I feel like I didn’t get as much as I should have out of the experience because I let my timidness hold me back. I also wish I had studied abroad. I didn’t because I figured if I was going to travel to Europe, I didn’t want to have to worry about homework and going to class. For some reason I thought I’d be able to afford to travel after I graduated … oh how naive I was.
I have talked to a few people who did study abroad, and it sounds like a lot of us were in the same situation – hardly any school work. I took lots of credits the semesters leading up to it so I could take it easy in Europe. And it was my worst semester, still! Ha ha (I still graduated with honors or whatever, but that semester did not help).
I wish I actually had money and time off to travel now too 🙂
That’s what I realized after my friends started coming back from their study abroad semesters, but by then it was too late if I still wanted to graduate in 4 years, plus I assumed my parents wouldn’t pay for the airfare, etc and I didn’t think I could afford it myself. Oh well.
I exactly know what you mean! I even think back to my time studying abroad and sometimes wished I had studied a bit more and not partied as much. But then I remember that was part of the fun and the experience. So then I think I wouldn’t change it for a second. But I do wish I had been blogging back then. There were so many amazing experiences that I could have shared.
I wish I would have blogged better. It was before I added many photos and most of my stuff was whiny! Ha! I think we can all look back and find things we want to change 😉