Stretched too thin
Skip this post if you don’t want to read a whiny rant.
I wasn’t going to write about this, but I’ve had an upsetting morning, so why not.
I woke up in a fit in the middle of the night this weekend, huffing and puffing and tossing and turning. Steven woke me up to ask what was wrong and I said “I just want some time to myself!” I don’t recall this conversation, but I 100% believe it, because I have been feeling STRESSED out lately about not having any time to just be on my own and chill (and this is not related to Steven or any specific person, this is related to being too stressed and busy).
The reason I wasn’t going to write about this is because everyone probably feels this way – stretched too thin, overworked, too busy, juggling to fit things in… why complain about it?
But this morning pushed me over the edge.
Last week I was notified very last minute that I needed to clear my schedule for work travel this week. I talked to my coworkers about covering my projects, did a lot of extra work to make it easier for them, booked my travel, made plans to see my best friend in the city I was traveling to, rearranged my schedule for this week… basically I was running around like crazy trying to get things figured out. I was feeling stressed.
I drug my luggage on the train and in to the office this morning. I couldn’t turn my computer on this morning (card reader issues – fun way to start the day), so I looked my Blackberry and had a notice the trip was canceled (to be rescheduled).
Because the Giants won the Superbowl (apparently?).
Ah, how ironic that I was writing about “some football game” yesterday.
I HATE having my schedule messed with. I know it’s something I need to get better at, but jeez, this really upset me.
Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
The part that upsets me is that this was supposed to be part of that announcement that was made about me in December. I feel like I am getting nowhere lately. And slowfuly and painfully.
I am not handling stress well right now, and I just feel like shutting down and giving up.
Since this trip was canceled, I am going to use it as a sign to take it easy this week and not do ANYTHING extra. So I will be a bit anti-social (in real life, not blogging) for awhile until I get back to the old me.
Themocracy
I can understand your frustration!! Hope your week gets better.
I would be frustrated/furious/upset/wanting to go home and say “fuck it”.
That used to happen with my husbands old job. We would plan for him to go to xyz and then he would go to abc. horrible. sucked. Like the one time he had to hurry up and get a passport. Yup. Didn’t need it afterall but now he has a passport paid for by his old company.
Wow! At least my blunder was national and not international!
I so understand where you’re coming from. It’s so hard when you are putting forth such an incredible effort to meet the needs of everyone and everything else (often without any appreciation), but don’t seem to have the time to take care of yourself.
Agreed that it’s a blessing in disguise that your business trip got cancelled this week! Definitely take advantage of the time to do what you need to do for yourself! You deserve it!
I just read a great quote in a book last night about how people pleasers always take care of themselves last. It really resonated with me. I feel like that balance is way off right now. And when I do get time to myself I cannot even enjoy it because of the stress of everything else. It will get better soon 🙂
That’s the reason your trip was canceled??? Wow. I completely understand being upset and frustrated that everything changed at the last minute. Especially when it included parts that you were really looking forward to.
I totally feel you on being stretched too thin, too, though. I think that’s how I felt towards the end of the running season last year. Do you need a weekend in your pajamas?
Yeah… kind of ironic. I saw a little blurb about NYC quietly planning a parade when I was reading the NY Times online this weekend. I mentioned it to Steven… never thought it would personally affect me.
I have found one positive to this cancelation. It means maybe you can come to NYC next time, if they give me more notice.
And I do need a PJ day! I think it’s this Saturday.
I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way…it sucks. Take some time for yourself and chill out this week.
Hugs!
I would have been so angry this morning! Traveling is such a pain and then to have it canceled because of the super bowl! Jeez. Totally understand why you were upset! You worked so hard to get everything ready last week so you could leave and then they just cancelled it. What a bust! Hopefully this week you can get some time alone and rest up!
I would be super frustrated as well. That is not right.
If you want to grab lunch, I have ears for you to vent to.
I’m sorry sis. 🙁 I love you. <3
Thanks snis. Love you too 🙂 You are one of the only peeps who knew how excited I actually was about this! That is why it’s so damn frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!
I think that since this IS a universal experience, why not share it? We can all relate and commiserate with you. I’m sorry that happened. It’s a huge pain to go to all that trouble then to have it rescheduled for what seems to be a very lame reason (um football? why?!).
Taking time for yourself is crucial to emotional and mental health. I do it all the time and I swear I am a nice, more centered, more loving person because I listen to myself when I’m feeling overloaded and I just chill. Enjoy this week and make ti about you!
I was thinking, I need to start meditating. And I thought of you. Any starter tips?
I don’t think it matters whether others are stressed and over-stretched or not. If you’re feeling that way, you have every right to blog about it.
When I traveled with work, I was more stressed out than I have ever been in my entire life. It’s travel, being away from loved ones, being away from the comforts of home, being away from your routine, being away from the comforts of life. There’s enough stress built into travel as it is, but to go out of your way to prepare for it and to line up life to make it easier on those around you, only to have it canceled – well, I completely understand your frustration. Well deserved. Also? Taking it easy this week is well deserved. Hope it helps to reset your clock.
Thank you for understanding. I was trying to look forward to this travel and not let it stress me, but I think the cancellation released all those feelings!!!!
BIG virtual HUG and KISS from Ayla!!!
Thanks, that is exactly what I needed 🙂
Totally hear ya on this one. Hugs and chin up, it’ll be better soon.
I totally hear you on needing to be more flexible about schedules – but this? This is unfair and you have every right to be disappointed, mad, pissed, annoyed, when you had to make so many adjustments to fit this trip in for it to be cancelled. NO BUENO. I hope you get time to just chillax sometime very, very, soon!
This? Would have driven me OUT OF MY EFFING MIND.
I’m so sorry my friend – I hope you can take some time for you soon…
Rant on, girl. I freak out when i can’t go to lunch on time (which is basically like every day) I feel like when other people cant keep a schedule, it starts to negatively affect my entire life.
So happy to hear I am not the only one who goes crazy when their schedule is messed with!
Oh geez, rant away please. That is so no bueno. I hope venting it here and not having to be on that trip give you at least a little time to catch your breath.
I know what you mean about not having alone time and being stressed. I’m sorry that your trip got canceled. I hope that your week gets better. Yoga has worked wonders for me 🙂
Oh hell to the no!! I can’t believe that they cancelled/postponed your trip because the Giants won!! (I wish I would have read your blog before I emailed earlier)!! Kim, that sucks! Especially after all the rearranging and everything you did!! I am sending big hugs your way!!! It really pisses me off that this was part of the big announcement in December (ok, everything about this whole situation pisses me off)! No good!!! I really want to send Gina to do some shin kicking!!!
=^..^=
There’s not a thing wrong with your rant! I would be just as pissed/irritated as you were. Life is complicated and when you do all this to get ready for a sudden trip and then the trip gets cancelled last minute, anyone would get pissed. I think it was important that you had the rant so that YOU could hear yourself and do some self care. Maybe you had to yell a bit to get your own attention. And now that you have your attention, follow through and have a Kim weekend!!!!
Grrrrr…. that is BEYOND frustrating!!!! I’m stressed FOR you! I’m the same way about having my schedule effed with. I don’t like it one little bit. Shoot, I’m stressed this afternoon because I had to work about an hour and a half later than normal, and that’s gonna keep me from being able to get my 5m run in this evening, so now I’m trying to figure out how to rearrange my running schedule this week! lol Small potatoes compared to what you’re going through today! Do what I do. Get in some sweat pants, grab a bottle of wine and a glass, and lock yourself in your bedroom watching old sitcom DVDs until you fall asleep. 🙂 Works like a charm!
That truly sucks, and I have ranted about far less.
I think you should listen to the wisdom of your sleeping voice that said “I just want some time to myself!” Maybe it will work out for the best in the end because you cleared your schedule, and instead of dumping things back in it, maybe you can take a few days to relax by yourself, or with your trusty cat!
The only ME time I get is when I’m in the shower. It definitely gets stressful after a while.
are you KIDDING??! that’s horrible, to cancel a major trip with that little notice! i think anyone would be irritated/annoyed, much less after all the effort you put into getting ready for it last week! and i mean, i am a HUGE football fan and lost my mind when the giants won last night, and even *i* think the superbowl is a ridiculous reason to cancel a weeklong business trip!?!?
I am not great with schedule changes, and especially not huge ones like that last minute! I’m sorry you are feeling so stressed. I have been feeling that way lately too. I know for me I will feel much less stressed when the semester is over in May. I just keep telling myself 13 more weeks to go. I hope you get some time to yourself soon and can relax!
I am glad you did this post. I hope it made you feel better to get it off your chest. I am sorry you feel so streched lately. It takes a toll on you and you need to try and find some time to just relax and do something for just you. I know its hard to do that but it will make you a better person for it!! Hang in there girl, I hope it gets better soon and you get the recogintion for all your hard work that you deserve!
I would rant too and be totally frustrated. I hope that you can find the time that you need to ‘decompress’ and also re-energize. I have a hard time managing major stress, especially when you’re dealing with so many issues that you can control.
Hang in there and, like others have said, take some time for yourself.
How annoying! That would totally tick me off. Especially since the trip was cancelled for a RIDICULOUS reason. That’s just so disrespectful of your time and life. Totally unacceptable in my opinion. You have every right to complain. Definitely take it easy as much as you can. (Although I’m sure that’s hard to do.) Make your health and well-being a priority!