The bad communicator

By , January 9, 2012 5:39 am

Actions speak louder than words. 

For years I have been saying to my family “I don’t expect you to read my blog to keep up with my life.” And I thought that was true, but I realize this weekend that I was not acting out what I was saying. I was thinking things like “Well, I don’t need to tell them about how we cut down our own tree this year, because they probably saw it on my blog,” and “I bet they already know all about our November trip to NYC.” I found myself not saying things, because I assumed they already knew, from seeing it on my blog. 

This is so stupid. 

First of all, some of my family does not read my blog at all, so why was I acting this way around them? And secondly, for the people who do read my blog, shouldn’t I want to give them the full account of whatever it is I was writing about? I mentioned it casually on this blog post, but our online identities are not always 100% true to who we are! I try to be as honest and open as I can, but of course, I filter out really private stuff that would be inappropriate to discuss here. Anyway, I hope to get more in to that in another post! Back on track…

It’s funny to me to be thinking this, because I started this blog when I was moving to Rome with the sole intention of keeping in touch with people while overseas. But, I’m in the states now. I can call, email, and Skype with people. I do email and chat with my sister online, and call my mom every now and then, and sometimes my Grandma, but I really need to get better at this. I make such an effort to stay in touch with my good friends, why don’t I do it as much with family?

And I am not just saying stay in touch about what is going on with me, I am mostly thinking what is going on with them! Most of my family still lives in our hometown area and they see each other quite often, and more or less know what is going on in each other’s lives. Being out in Chicagoland, I think there is a tendency to forget to keep me in the loop (which is totally understandable), and I need to make an effort to stay involved. 

So, I am going to try to call home more. Skype. Email. Whatever works. 

So family – just leave a comment letting me know if you want me to contact you more often. 

Just kidding!

Have you ever thought of your blog as a tool for keeping in touch with family and friends? Are there people you solely keep in touch with, besides other bloggers, via your blog?

The funny thing is, I drafted this post up Sunday morning, before I even left Iowa (and my family). So on Sunday morning when we were hanging out, I made sure not to pass on sharing something* that I had already shared on my blog. But then I found that I had to tell myself not to ask if they saw pictures on my blog, saw it on my blog, etc. Ha ha. That will be a hard habit to break!

*I am such an oversharer – you would think that would never be a problem. 

Data does not approve…

By , January 8, 2012 7:05 pm

…of Steven’s new toy

At.

All.

Training Week 116

By , January 8, 2012 5:59 am

Day 806 | January 2, 2012: 6 m run (6×2 fartlek)

Monday’s workout was very challenging:

1-2 mile warm up
2 minutes hard @ 1.5% incline/2 minutes recovery
2 minutes hard @ 2% incline/2 minutes recovery
2 minutes hard @ 2.5% incline/2 minutes recovery
2 minutes hard @ 3.5% incline/2 minutes recovery
2 minutes hard @ 4% incline/2 minutes recovery
2 minutes hard @ 4.5% incline/2 minutes recovery
1 mile cool down

I have a hard time running on our treadmill at home – even with a movie on I do not find it very stimulating. But this speedwork had to happen on the treadmill, due to the incline requirements. So I did it. I got it done. But I really struggled with the fast parts. I did the first four speed segments at 7.5 mph,  and the last 2 at 7.0 mph. I had to take a short break in the middle to catch my breath, and I ran the cool down very slowly. 

Distance: 6.0 | Time: 1:01:41

Day 807 | January 3, 2012: 5 m run (easy)

Tuesday’s run was a prescribed “easy” effort to recover from Monday. I was fully expecting the run of death, but surprisingly, I felt like I was flying the whole time, despite a lot of wind. Maybe my body was just happy to be off the treadmill, and on mostly flat terrain?

Distance: 5.0 | Start Temp: 24° | End Temp: 24° | Time: 45:03 | Avg Pace: 9:00

Day 808 | January 4, 2012: strength

We had a kickass strength class – lots of core moves with dumbbells and two-person resistance bands. And some interesting push ups and crunches. I felt really strong during class. I love it when I feel that way!

Day 809 | January 5, 2012: 5 m run (easy)

I think this easy run is more like what I expected Tuesday’s easy run to be! Slow and steady…

Distance: 5.0 | Start Temp: 36° | End Temp: 39° | Time: 49:48 | Avg Pace: 9:57

Day 810 | January 6, 2012: 11 m run (easy + last 10 min @ MP)

This run went so much better than my last long run! I just felt strong and steady, even when I was running in to the wind for the entire second half (okay, that was very irritating). I was still able to run the last 10 minutes at 8:45 pace… I think I was just happy to speed up and be done running in the wind!

Distance: 11.0 | Start Temp: 38° | End Temp: 46° | Time: 1:51:46 | Avg Pace: 10:10

Day 811 | January 7, 2012: 5 m run (easy) + cross

I got up at 5:30 (on a Saturday!) to do a half awake run. I ran through my aunt’s neighborhood, which is a lot darker than mine. My headlamp barely illuminated anything! But! My parents gave me a new headlamp later in the day for Christmas! I have a feeling it will be a lot better.

Distance: 5.0 | Temp: 30° | Time: 51:22 | Avg Pace: 10:16

A little bit after my run, my aunt and sister-in-law (SiL) and I went to a Zumba class. It was my first time trying Zumba, and the class was being taught by a college friend of mine, Cristina, who lives in my hometown!

Have you ever tried Zumba before? What did you think of it?

 

I think dancing is in Cristina’s blood – she is Puerto Rican and has always had great moves since I’ve known her. I didn’t realize in Zumba that you just follow the instructor and learn different steps for each song. I think she said we did almost 17 songs (an hour worth). I thought Zumba was really fun. I definitely have no rhythm, but I got a great workout! And it was fun to do it with my aunt and SiL!

 

Day 812 | January 8, 2012: rest

So so excited to have a rest day. I need it!

Week Summary: 32.0 miles

Starting to ramp the miles back up a teensy bit! Me gusta!

My sister-in-law, Courtney (the same one that went to Zumba with me) drew my name for Christmas and got me a gift card to the local running store! So, I bought The Stick and some new running socks. I was giving everyone massages with The Stick. I think I know what to get everyone next year for Christmas!

Friday Question #177

By , January 6, 2012 10:08 am

Do you drink coffee? Why or why not? If you do, how long have you been drinking it, how often do you drink it (in a day) and do you make it at home or buy it out?

Steve and Steven on the subway – this is the only picture I could find on my blog with coffee cups in it, ha ha. 

Can you guess what I woke up craving this morning?

Just kidding! I don’t drink coffee. It really upsets my stomach. But I have been thinking a soy chai latte from Starbucks sounds good since last night. Maybe that is in my destiny for today. 

Sometimes I feel like everyone drinks coffee except me (and Erin) so I am curious to hear what you all say. 

If you don’t drink coffee, do you drink something else that is caffeinated?

Packing priorities

By , January 5, 2012 4:43 pm

Who else packs just as much (if not more) workout attire as regular attire when they travel?

So so guilty of this… I have one top for each day I’ll be gone, and one pair of jeans… but multiple exercise outfit options. Ha ha ha. To my credit, I am doing two runs and a Zumba class. That makes it better, right?

A new meaning for willpower

By , January 5, 2012 5:13 am

Can you all tell I have had time to catch up on old magazine articles over the holidays?

Somehow I ended up with a subscription to Whole Living. It’s obviously related to the relay triathlon I did last summer because it comes addressed to Team One Leg at a Time – our team name. I am just not sure why I get it. But… I actually really like it! There are lots of neat vegetarian and vegan recipes in each issue, lots of eco friendly stuff, and tons on life balance. I actually hope I continue to receive it in the mail.

So here we go. There was a interesting article about willpower in the Jan/Feb issue (click here to read) that I highly recommend! Like the article first says, I did think willpower was just something I don’t have. Why else can’t I stop eating chips and salsa, or impulsively signing up for races?

But the whole point of the article is that we all use willpower every day, and our ability to access it is much within our control. We can’t only look at when we think we “lack” willpower (drinking too much, eating too much, snapping at our spouse), but we have to think about all the “right” decisions we make too – working on a project in advance of its due date, working out instead of sitting on the couch, paying bills on time… you get the idea. The article is saying that instead of thinking about willpower as “forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do,” think of it as “having the strength or willingness to do what matters most to you.”

Silly, but that kind of blew my mind because I was always in the “I have no willpower” and “willpower’s only use is to make me stop eating cookies” camp. Thinking about using it each day, for multiple things, is a very new thought to me… now I just have to think about what matters most to me.

I wanted to share the four willpower “facts” from the article because they were all news to me (don’t you love it when you read a magazine and feel like you aren’t reading some regurgitated crap you’ve seen before? That must be why I like this mag – I’ve never had one like it). Most of this is taken word for word, so credit goes to the article (well, for this whole post, really).

  1. We’re wired for it – willpower is not strictly mental – it has a physiological basis, much like the “fight-or-flight” response in moments of stress. Willpower comes in the form of “pause and plan,” however – it does not kick in as fast as flight-or-fight because it is not related to immediate survival. It’s trickier to notice, but it is an instinct we all have.
  2. It fluctuates – we have a limited amount of willpower. Willpower requires glucose (energy stores your brain draws on) – and we probably all know we don’t make our best decisions when we are hungry. “Every decision that is not habitual – choosing from 20 bottles of shampoo at the store – uses willpower.” “It taxes the system at a very low level.” After we use our willpower, we have to refuel and restrengthen. Also – no one has perfect self-control on the time! So be easy on yourself, and work on strengthening your willpower (they gave 7 exercises which you can see in the link).
  3. Guilt doesn’t work– labeling your actions as “bad” can lead to self-sabotage. Creating guilt and shame, and remorsing over what you did, can lead you right back in to doing it again. On the other side of the spectrum – don’t be overconfident about good behavior. Psychologists calls this “moral licensing” – when we think we’ve succeeded at something, and reward ourselves, but the reward reverts us back to old behaviors.
  4. There are three parts. The three types of willpower are “‘I will’ power: the ability to do something we don’t want to do because it’s good for us. ‘I won’t’ power: the ability to stay away from things that are bad for us, and ‘I want’ power: making decisions based on goals.” “People can be strong in one area, but not others.” “The secret to changing habits lies in paying attention to all three of the powers.”

Then the article included seven ways to build self-discipline. I thought they were so-so, but you can see them in the link.

But wow. I thought there were so many cool tidbits in this article. Like the “pause and plan” reflex. I need that to be my new motto! And the idea that we are using willpower all the time to make decisions. And the “moral licensing”… and the three types. These are all very new ideas to me that I am exited to think about!

What is your view on willpower? Do you view it like I did, or do you think more in line with the article? Where are you strong in willpower and where do you need improvement?

Native Foods Cafe

By , January 4, 2012 1:09 pm

Danger Danger!

An entirely vegan restaurant (Native Foods Cafe) opened across the street from my office. This… could be bad. Vegan cupcakes, only a 2 minute walk away? Vegan chicken wings? Vegan Mac and Cheese?!

Ahh! I must be good. I must be good. I must be good. (Ironically, I have a post scheduled for tomorrow about willpower. Hmm).

It’s really rare for me to find a place where I can walk in and order anything off of the menu (and I recognize it’s my own choice to live this way). It’s actually overwhelming.

Today, I went with a bowl – tempeh on rice with kale, veggies, curry sauce, cranberries and green onions. The presentation was stunning.

My coworker went with a different bowl – tofu, veggies, quinoa, currants and almonds. We agreed hers was better! Mine was very good too.

We grabbed a menu so we can mark all the things we’ve tried. Ha!

Chicago bloggers – if you are looking to meet-up… let me know! Let’s just get there early. There was quite a line!

All ready for Valentine’s Day

By , January 4, 2012 5:42 am

Now you see it,

now you don’t.

Our Christmas tree turned in to a peace lily!

All of our Christmas decorations are put away, except for the candles in each window. I figured I would wait and see when the rest of the neighborhood stops turning on their lights to put those away.

I had Monday off from work and was determined to get all of the Christmas decorations put away. I didn’t want to do it, but knew if I didn’t tackle it on Monday, it would not happen for a long time. And it’s kind of a bummer to have everything still be out, when the holiday is long gone.

The worst part is putting all those damn Star Wars ornaments back in their boxes. But I do it.

I was surprised though – I think putting everything away went faster than putting everything up! I put all the decorations in clear plastic boxes, and they are all labeled as to what goes inside, so it’s pretty easy (except for a few things that never want to get back in to their boxes – I am talking to you nativity manger and santa paws bowls).

So… back to our plain decor! No decorations again until next year. Although I was at someone’s house on New Years Day and they had Valentine’s Day decorations up! Crazy!

How long do you wait to take down your winter holiday decorations? Do you dread it?

Do you decorate for any other holidays?

Favorite bars

By , January 3, 2012 9:40 pm

Anyone have a guess as to what my favorite energy bars are?

Here’s the thing – I normally get hooked on an energy bar, eat too many of them, and never want to eat them again (hello most Clifbars, Larabars, Odwalla, many LUNA flavors…). 

But these Chocolate Dipped Coconut bars from LUNA are so addictive. I have not hit my “never eating you again” point with them. Maybe I have found true love (in bar form)?

All joking aside, I never have more than one of these a day, and try not to eat one a day. But I found myself repeatedly buying them at Target when I ran out of stock at home so I decided to take the plunge and get these huge boxes from Amazon (at a better overall price). 

How long do you think 30 LUNA bars will last me? I’ll send one to whomever guesses most accurately. Ha ha. So, actually, how long do you think 29 LUNA bars will last me?

Do you eat energy bars*? What is your favorite kind?

*I am not really even sure how an energy bar is defined, and I bet these are just as bad as candy bars. Oh well… I guess if someone can tell me otherwise, that would be nice!

How empathetic are you?

By , January 3, 2012 5:36 am

I was reading this interesting article (click link to read) about empathy in the December issue of SELF, and it really got me thinking about a few things. The focus of the article was about how empathy is declining, but that being empathetic not only makes you happier, but makes you more successful at work. And the article went in to a few ways to increase your empathy. 

The whole article was interesting to me, but the first thing that really stood out was the paragraph on how we may be becoming less empathetic because of technology:

Except, as a society, we seem to be getting less empathy practice than we used to—and technology may be to blame. In the Michigan study, the decline in empathy test scores was especially sharp after the year 2000, which is when Friendster, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter came on the scene. To Konrath, that’s no coincidence. “Spending so much time interacting online could certainly change our ability to empathize,” she says. “When you see someone face to face, you get multiple signals—you hear her voice, note the movement of her eyes, take in her posture,” she says. But on Facebook, it’s tough to know how others are really feeling, not least because you rarely see the whole truth. (We’re all familiar with “friends” who use the medium to constantly trumpet how fabulous their life is.) At times, it can seem as if social media is more about creating a perfectly polished image than making a genuine connection. “It’s not that Facebook itself is going to somehow rot our capacity for empathy,” Konrath says. “It’s that it doesn’t require us to use much of it.” So after a while, if you spend more of your hours online, your instinct for reading others falls off. If you don’t use it, you could lose it.

So, the more time we spend interacting with people online, the less practice we get being empathetic in person. Sure, that makes sense. We shouldn’t be hermits. And online identities are often heavily edited* – we can’t trust our perception of their face value. 

What do you think – does your online interaction with people affect how you relate to people in real life?

Another thing that stood out to me was that “empathy is the glue that keeps all relationships humming: friends who are skilled at understanding each other are less likely to have conflicts and are better at resolving them when they do happen.” When you make an effort to understand where the other person is coming from and feel for that, it opens up communication, you’re less judgmental, and strengthens the relationship (according to the article). They talked about how crucial this is in marriage – agreed!

Also, the article talked about how being more empathetic makes you happier, and why the higher ups at work don’t seem to be empathetic (didn’t you always want to know?) and how important empathy is in the work environment. 

This article was kind of all over the place, and this post definitely is too. Please read the article (link above) if you are interested! But I do want to ask  – how empathetic are you?

I’ve noticed that I start out quite empathetic with people. But the more I learn about them, the more or less empathetic I come. For example (and we all have this person in our lives) – I know someone who is irresponsible and continually makes bad decisions, yet has the “the world is after me” attitude. No it’s not, honey. You need to grow the eff up. And there it is <– a lack of empathy. When crappy things happen to that person, I have such a hard time forgetting their crappy personality and feeling empathy for them. I think “Karma, baby. You get what you deserve.” How awful is that?

On the other hand, I do have many friendships where I’ve have gotten to know someone more and more that I just really feel for everything that happens to them. Their sadness is my sadness. Their joy is my joy. If they are uneasy, I am too. It’s pretty amazing that you can be that close with someone! And the article is right – that amount of empathy does make me happy, and feel good. Not exactly in the moments of sadness and unease, but when I thinking “Wow, I really connect with this person.”

*This could really be an entire blog post in it’s own, but I am feeling lazy, so I will add it down here! There was also an interesting blurb in this magazine about “FOMO” – the fear of missing out. Click here to read it. Basically, it says “we tend to show an upbeat version of ourselves online, leaving out the bad parts.” So when you go online and see everyone is doing all these fun things, you have the fear of missing out. But you have to remember that other people may only be showing their “idea selves” online, and not to let yourself get down because you aren’t feeling as merry. Also, it says make your own plans with friends if you are feeling left out! Honestly, I was passing on invites during the holidays because I had too much to do! But I did see posts of many parties on Facebook and in blogs, so I can see why people might feel this way. 

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