Friday Question #180
Do you have close relationships with any of your neighbors? Do you know any of their names?
In MWF Seeking BFF there is a statistic quoted that 28% of Americans know none of their neighbors by name. Honestly, I am surprised the percentage is not higher. We were close to a family in our neighborhood, but they moved to Albuquerque a few years ago. I was pretty bummed. We did a lot together. The husband and I would even run and race together!
We haven’t developed relationships with anyone else, to date. More often than not, I am knocking on their door to ask them to turn their music down, not to give them a plate of cookies.
We have actually had many neighbor issues, but I try not to write about that stuff here. It just makes me even angrier.
I had to fill out some security forms at work and I was supposed to write down the name of a neighbor who knows me well. I had no one to write down. So they had me list the name of our neighbors who moved. That made me feel kind of lame.
I am wondering if anyone else is in the same situation as me?
Themocracy
I have four different neighbors in my apartment building. One is an older man who pretty much keeps to himself but I have three other neighbors who are my age. (Two girls and a guy, who I have semi-bonded over since we both love the Miami Dolphins.) I feel like I should make more of an effort to befriend them but I’m just so AWKWARD around people I don’t know and I’m not forced to be friendly to. I get so tongue-tied for some strange reason.
That is so cool that they are your age! I wonder what you could talk about! I think you should give it a try 🙂
I wouldn’t say I know any of my neighbors well (but I’ve only lived in my house since April) but I do know a few of their names. Is it sad that I know more of their dog’s names than I do their names? All my neighbors (for the most part) seem really nice, but I just don’t know them too well yet. My immediate neighbor is friendly without being overly so and I like that about him.
One thing is for sure, I know my neighbors better in my neighborhood now than I did when I lived in my last apartment.
I bet it is totally common to know the pet’s name! I actually know a few pet names in our neighborhood!
OOH you added spell check! I love spell check! (If i missed it before, I apologize)
My building has 6 units, I know my neighbors across the hall, but besides that..not really. I don’t hang out with any of them.
V’s Grandparents live in the same sort of neighborhood as you do I am assuming..and they know all of their immediate neighbors. We actually go Trick-r-Treating over there, because so many of them know V.
That spell check showed up on its own! Kind of funny…
I clicked back to your neighbor post and then clicked over to your 1st 5k post and was amused that you posted in the comments “but I don’t know if I could ever do more than 6 or 10 miles…”. Haha. Now you eat 6 or 10 miles for breakfast!
Ha! I don’t even remember writing that! But I do remember thinking I could never run a marathon. I have changed a lot!
We know most of our neighbors by name, but I wouldn’t say we’re close to any of them friendship wise. My son goes over and plays with the kids next door once in a while. I actually would prefer to live in the country with no neighbors close.
That would be my ideal situation too 🙂
We know a few of our neighbors, but not well. And they all know us as, “those people with THAT dog…”.
I agree with Kandi – I might know their dogs more than the actual humans…
We know our neighbours and their names, but we rarely speak to them unless we’re out in our yards in the summer time.
We live in a typical subdivision and since I’m always out running and walking dogs, I know many of the people but it often isn’t more than common chit chat. I only know a few by name though. As for our immediate neighbors, we know the ones right next door to us enough that we could certainly approach them if we had some sort of major issue and needed help but for the most part, we all just keep to ourselves and that’s the way I prefer it. We have a new set on our other side that have been there a year, not really crazy about them!
I have only just met the neighbors because we got the dog, and all the other neighbors who have dogs will be out walking their dogs and the puppies kind of do the introductions. We live in a mixed unit of apartments and condos in the city.
Well, my best friend still lives downstairs, but that is more of a coincidence than anything. 🙂
My next door (or across the hall, I guess) neighbor is really nice and a couple times when things were “off” (i.e., my front door was cracked open, and another separate incident when the cat got out and was sitting in the stairwell) she would knock on the door to check on me. She has met my boyfriend and I have met hers. That makes me feel safe.
For the most part everyone in my unit is really nice and we chat, but I wouldn’t say we’re friends. I think people just like their privacy in such tight living conditions!
We’ve lived in our home for nearly 12 years. We know the name of the neighbors directly next to us but the others we have assigned nicknames. We have: Dog Walkers, Party People, Guinness People, Trampoline People, Fence People, Rock Diggers, WT’s (short for white-trash), Dog Shitters, and Yard Sellers. The neighbors who we know, we don’t often talk to. Once, decades ago, I had some bad neighbors who knew no boundaries and it taught me to be standoffish.
You must tell us more about these people. And the bad neighbors from year’s past.
We have nicknames for the people we see at the train station 🙂
The bad neighbors seemed to be very lonely or something because they wanted to spend every waking moment with us. Eventually it got to the point where we had to sneak out to go to dinner and later they would ask why we didn’t tell them so they could go with us. It was common for them to pickup our mail for us, bring it to the door, and then stay for breakfast. Most nights we had to tell them to go home so we could go to bed. They were nice (other than they knew no boundaries) but they were the nice neighbors from hell!
That is so bizarre! I am not even sure I would know how to politely tell someone to get out of my house.
I don’t know any of my neighbors. I’m in kind of a college neighborhood, so people seem to cycle through pretty frequently. The people directly east of me have been feeding stray cats and it’s starting to cause a really big problem, so I have the feeling that we might ‘meet’ each other at some point not too far off. There area about 10 people who seem to live in the house, so I feel strange confronting one of them when someone else is probably the person causing problems.
Troy also does not know any of his neighbors, and most of them have been there a while. (He’s been there a bit over 3 years.)
What kind of problems is feeding the stray cats causing? And 10 people live in there? Geesh!
I have lived here for 12 years now. I know the neighbors south of use aka Larry and Sandy. The guy who did our driveway last weekend was Dave. I have NO clue what his wife’s name is. How great is that? oy.
I have really bizarre neighbors. Needless to say we don’t really have relationships…
I know the names of some of them, but we aren’t close.
BTW, you look really skinny in that picture!
Ha! That is because it is from a long long time ago… when I was trying to lose weight. Ah, how it cycles back 😉
I love my neighbors! I have Wanda – the 70+ retired flight attendant and her cute dog. And we have the nice Japanese family who are ALWAYS playing outside. There’s a bit of a language barrier but we wave and smile!
We lived in an apartment building for over three years and never talked to any of our neighbors, other than saying “hi” if we passed in the hallway. Once someone had a small fire break out on their balcony, the fire dept was called, and we had to evacuate. I remember looking around and thinking “who are these people?” Our building was three floors with four units each, and two entrances. I NEVER saw the people that used the other entrance.
At our old house we knew our neighbors. Everyone was nice and friendly but, interestingly, I didn’t know anyone’s phone number!
Now I know first names of the people who live in the house next door and we’re friendly but I wouldn’t say we know each other well. And on the other side is an apartment building and I only know one woman by face but I don’t know her name.
I wouldn’t know how to answer that question, either! What a strange thing to ask on a form.
I live in one of two basement suites in a house, so I’m practically on top of my neighbors. My landlords live upstairs, and they’re probably the loudest people on earth, so we’re not what I would call friends. We say hi, and sometimes make small talk, but that’s it. Then there’s neighbor girl, I know her name but I’ve never used it. We’re friendly with each other, we’ve had a few drunken conversations outside, but that’s about the extent of it. I’ve talked to her child more than I’ve talked to her.
Since I moved back home after college most of my neighbors are those I’ve had for 26+ years. I have a pretty good relationship with most of them and will stop and talk to them in passing. My closest neighbors and I exchange small gifts at Christmas and watch each others pets when vacation time comes. It’s a pretty tight knit neighborhood, especially for city living.
Aww! I am so happy to hear you are actually close to your neighbors! That is awesome! I wish I had someone to watch over Data again, like our neighbors used to, lol.
In our last house, we knew the whole block. Here? Not so much.
My husband knows some of the neighbors. Mostly because he spends a lot of time working on yard and, thus, sees the neighbors. I am definitely part of that 28%.
Unless it’s a neighbor who has a dog that my dog isn’t a jerk to, then no, I have no clue who these people are.
I’m in a unique situation since I manage the building I live in. I know all my neighbors! But not so much that they know too much personal information on me since it’s technically work. I hope when we buy a house we make friends with the neighbors.
I’m going to have to dig into the past for this one. When my ex-wife and I built a new house, we had 3 neighbors that we spent a lot of time with. I worked with two of them and were already long term friends with them. So living right next door was a great thing. I remember those times vividly and am so glad to experience having decent neighbors.
The last 10 years (longer for my wife since she’s lived there 24 years) have been strange, to put it nicely. We have odd neighbors that we say hi to here and there, but nothing more normally. Maybe during the summer we will have chats with the 76 yr old lady, who is nice, but is more interested in not saying a word. Not mean, just stand offish. The newer neighbors two houses over haven’t said boo. I think they have caught on that we don’t go to their church.
When I lived in an apartment downtown, my roommate and I tried to get to know our neighbors once. We had nothing in common, ran out of things to say quickly, and it just became reallllllly awkward.
Now, we live in a house in a suburb. One of our neighbors sold us our house, and within the firs day of us moving in our neighbors across the street and on the other side had stopped by. (My brother had his 1970’s Monte Carlo in the driveway so people stopped by to say hello while also gawking at the car.) Apparently the little old lady that lived in our house was popular in the neighborhood and missed when she was gone. Local folks wanted to see who was new in town! But to be honest, if they hadn’t approached us, we probably wouldn’t be friends with them. I can be very shy at first and this really shows when trying to meet new people. I’m glad it worked out and I’m trying to be better about it!
Once upon a time, me and my ex lived in a little neighborhood made up of four cul-de-sacs. There was no thru traffic. It was one-way-in-one-way-out. Every single night, everyone was outside walking the dogs, grilling, playing basketball, having impromptu cocktail parties… Everyone’s kids had the run of the neighborhood, everyone watched out for everyone… I FRIGGIN’ LOVED IT. Now I live in a very rural setting. We have one house close to us, and they’re an older couple. I miss the good ol’ days of Pine Hill Estates.
Having great neighbors, like having great friends, takes time. We just had some nice ones move away. Hoping the new ones will be just as nice.
When I was a renter, I never knew any of my neighbors. I wanted to be anonymous. I wanted to sneak into my home and not talk to anyone along the way.
When I bought my first condo, I started to get to know my neighbors. I was elected to the association board, which gave me great access to the owners in my 53-unit building. When Sweets and I adopted SoMi, we became very good friends with another couple who adopted a dog around the same time. Turns out we got married a few months apart and had preemie babies mere weeks apart.
In our current building, we are very good friends with one set of neighbors. We have keys to their unit, went on vacation with them to the Cayman Islands and spend countless Friday nights ordering take-out with them. We are also friendly with a couple other people in our building. But, to be fair, we prefer not to interact at all with a few others in our building.
My point? Just because you’re neighbors means nothing other than you chose the same neighborhood. Unless you have something in common, there’s no reason for you to be friends. I’m not sure I’d feel bad about it, so long as you feel you’re getting social interactions in other areas of your life (which I’d say you most definitely are).