A little aggressive
See, I told you I would be back shortly if I wrote about how “quiet” I felt! My family member’s surgery went well – thanks for your thoughts! They will be in intensive care for a couple of days and recover over the next six weeks. The post below is not related to the earlier post.
It seems I cannot talk to a certain person without them giving me advice on how to live my life, when they know nothing about me (or what the hell they are talking about). I’ve written about this before (the I do what I can post and the Thoughts on Fasting post ), and there’s been another incident. Steven has told me that the way to deal with this person is by changing the topic to get them to talk about themselves, which seemed to work this time.
Other Person (OP): Kim, have you run any marathons lately?
Note: Many people don’t seem to realize that not ALL races are marathons. I mean, I don’t expect them to get it, but it’s funny. We had one friend who was always talking about the marathon he ran, but it was really a 5K. Note, marathon = 26.2 miles. 5K = 3.1 miles.
Kim: No. But I ran 15 miles Thursday morning and a 5K this morning. (Yes, I was egging OP on.)
OP: Wow. Don’t you think that is a little aggressive?
Kim: Nope. I don’t think that is aggressive at all. I have built up my mileage slowly and smartly. In fact, I don’t feel like I am running enough. A lot of people I know run more than me. I wish I was running more. We are going to Kansas City in two weeks to do another race and visit Steven’s family. So we’ll kind of be by your old stomping grounds. When was the last time you were in Kansas?
OP: Oh, we went to Kansas… blah blah blah.
Note: My transition to getting that person to talk about themselves was so seamless that Steven didn’t even notice it when I asked him about it later. Schweet!
This encounter really bothered me, for a little bit, even though it shouldn’t have. I know that this person is just awkward and actually trying to be polite by asking people about their interests. They just don’t know what to say after they ask. And they are genuinely concerned that running is slowly killing me, so… that is nice?
The thing is, running makes me feel strong and confident. I am proud of the fact that I can run at all. So when someone says something stupid like this (when they know NOTHING about what they are talking about) I find it annoying. But it’s easy to get over. Because in the long run*, I know at the end of the world, I can outrun them and won’t feel weak because I DON’T fast 3 days a week.
I do wonder, how would they have reacted if I told them I am running three half marathons in the next 5 weeks? Or that I just signed up to run another marathon in October (the Milwaukee Lakefront Marathon, with Erin!)? That probably would have blown their mind!
What do you do when people give your crap about your interests/hobbies/lifestyle?
*Pun, ha ha.
Themocracy
So they asked you if you were running any marathons, knowing that you run marathons, but then were surprised that you ran 15 miles and 5 miles? How do they think you end up running the marathons? Geez, you’re a runner! They need to just get over it.
LOL. You totally crack me up. I didn’t even think of that. It’s not like you run low mileage then just go run a marathon… you have to at least get up to 20 miles prior!
I don’t think they will ever get over it. I just avoid this person because they always say something crazy to me that inevitably pisses me off!
“Like”
Your running has been so so GREAT lately – you should be very proud of what you’ve accomplished so far this year, and it’s barely even started…I’d love to grow up to be a runner like you 😉
So that said, if someone were to give me crap about my running, I would smile and “mmm hmmm” and be FUMING on the inside. And then later I’d realize I was being stupid and get over it. Probably much later. It’s definitely something to think about – and luckily enough, it’s not anything I’ve had to deal with yet…
(I CAN’T WAIT to see how you do Saturday!)
Aww, thanks Bobbi. You have improved a lot too and should be very proud of yourself! You never know… you might have this stupid conversation someday (I hope not).
I hope to do well on Saturday! I need to see if Gardiner runs my pace 🙂 Otherwise I will be on my own!
Did you know there was a scary clown-like jester behind you in those photos!? I would have been running faster for sure. 😉
I like Steven’s idea to change the subject to the other person. I should try this sometime. I know someone who sometimes makes comments about how he wishes he could run but he has a bad back… and then sometimes says things like how running bad for my knees. I think he’s just jealous that I’m able to run and that I have a relationship with the people in my running group and he can’t participate. I don’t always know how to respond in those situations. Sometimes I get defensive but I know that probably isn’t the best idea. I’ll give Steven’s suggestion a try the next time.
I knew he was there after the photo because he passed me! Ugh. I really sucked that last mile. Anyway.
Is that guy using his back as an excuse or is he for real? I think you should tell him to shut up and run if it’s an excuse, OR, change the subject if it’s not. Ugh, the “bad for your knees” thing makes me bonkers!
It bugs me when people pry like that, but only when its certain people. I dont know why.
Like the other day I was saying at work how I did an entire run at a 10 minute pace and a coworker told me thats slow.
Its like, “dude, seriously, suck it”.
Which may have been what I said. I have no advice on how to handle these things maturely.
I hope that is what you said. Running at that pace is a big deal!
Thankfully I surround myself with people who like running. But it is an interesting situation and it sounds like you handled it well, no matter how frustrating!
Oh man, I have some friends who give me crap about living a healthy lifestyle every time it comes up, running included. I ran 6.4 miles this past Saturday and someone actually looked at me and said, “WHY?!”
Because I wanted to.
“Didn’t it take a long time? Wasn’t it hard?”
Yes, it took a while, and it was challenging but it felt good.
“I hate running. I never workout.”
Sucks to be you. I’ll still be running in 20 years and feeling great, and you’ll feel like crap because you don’t take care of yourself now. (I don’t actually say this, but I really really really want to.)
My friends like to go out to the bars on the weekends, and while I still go, I don’t drink, and it’s like I’ve given up breathing by how they react to me not drinking any alcohol at all. They even go as far as trying to pressure me into have “just one drink.” No, I don’t want one drink, I’ve set a goal of not drinking any alcohol for a reason. I just smile and say, “no thanks, I’m sticking to my goal.” And then they say something like, “aren’t you bored being at a bar and not drinking?” No, actually, it’s kind of nice not spending a ton of money on a hangover. I’ll be able to wake up tomorrow and run another 6 miles while you throw up.
Keep running. Let them hate on you. At least you can outrun them. Can hear someone hating on you if they can’t keep up! 🙂
That clown dude was seriously behind you? Best race pic EVER!
If anyone dared tell me my running was aggressive I’d say ‘yes, I am VERY aggressive and that’s how I like it.’ then sneer. Don’t let them bother you. Have fun with it.
i know folks like that. but then again, i know some folks who you think would never ever know anything about what you’re up to, and they’ll surprise you with what all they do know (like the actual difference between a 5k and a marathon! or the exact distance of an IM) such a pleasant surprise!
anywho, i’m pretty sure we all have the urge to say what i’m about to…. “i’d totally run fast is that guy was behind me!”
I think so many people are so clueless about what it really takes to be a runner – especially a marathoner! You’re awesome, by the way, and I don’t think you have a crazy running schedule at all. Pretty normal and if you’re enjoying yourself and not fainting from lack of fuel…more power to ya! 🙂
I hate that type of situation! I think your approach was correct though. I have done that with people lately when they tell me how to live my life or how to do certain aspects of my work.
When I told some people I was signing up to do the 10k, they would say, “I don’t know if that is a good idea.” How strange! Only my body knows if it is a good idea and if I am injured that day, I’ll walk.
Ooh, I should cheer you on in the Milwaukee Lakefront Marathon! My friend Laurie is running it.
Wow. People really said that about the 10K? So bizarre.
I will be in Milwaukee this weekend for the South Shore Half too 🙂
I love the race pics! You look really awesome, by the way!
Sounds like the other person is pretty awkward and that you handled yourself well. Seems strange that people are so judgmental of your lifestyle. It’s one thing if you were boozing it up every night (or doing something worse), but I’ve never equated running with killing oneself.
Your running is going well, so keep focused on that. Have fun and enjoy yourself!
I just don’t tell anyone my mileage unless they specifically ask. I just don’t feel like explaining myself! You are doing great and are going to rock those half marathons!
Steven is so smart. That is a great idea, and one I am going to have to try the next time I find myself getting irritated with someone.
I love the picture. You of course look great, and then there is a clown behind you. That has never happened to me at a race.
Running is good for you, I hate that people are so uninformed. I think maybe sometimes people feel guilty or lazy when they are around someone who runs or is really healthy so they try to make themselves feel better by trying to figure out how their choices could be better even though they aren’t. If running sounds dangerous, they can feel better about their choice to not run, right? I think it’s the same way when people are uncomfortable around vegetarians and kind of make them feel bad/awkward about it.
I think Steven’s suggestion is perfect! I try to not get too upset when people give me a hard time about running – I know I love it and it’s good for me, so I don’t worry about what they’re saying.
I roll my eyes inwardly and think, Typical. I’m used to it by now.
The same thing happened to me, re: people confusing a “race” with a “marathon.” Like my dad asked me, “How long is your marathon?” Isn’t a question like that sort of equivalent to asking, “How long is your twelve-inch ruler?” or something?! (It was, incidentally, a 5K. Hardly a marathon. :P)
<3 <3
I’ve come to believe that when people are reacting like that it’s mostly out of their own stuff- whether it be low self-esteem or what have you. When I was going to yoga a lot I would get some flack for it but it was from people who didn’t work out at all.
Here’s the thing: Non-Runners don’t get it.
I get asked, “how was your Ironman” all the time.Haha
It sounds to me like that particular person gets a kick out of being a “know it all”. Which is probably why changing the subject worked so they could talk about themselves worked so well!
I hear this all the time, particularly from relatives who want to know when I’m going to stop running and have babies. UGH. If they only knew. It’s not that simple.
it’s been a LONG time since anyone has questioned the sanity of how much I run…it’s weird. In college, a lot of people thought I was nuts. Now that I’m 27, people who learn about my running think it is just the JAM. they think it’s awesome! To make this person shush for good, send them to my blog where they can see the craziness of running 20 miles before work.
It drives me batty when people call a non-marathon a marathon. Might be my #1 pet peeve in the whole world. DO NOT tell me you ran a marathon when it was a HALF. It’s NOT A DIFFICULT CONCEPT!!
more healthy wishes to your family member
LOVE THE JESTER! What fantastic race photos.
At work or wherever (but mostly at work) I sometimes get dumped on for not eating junk — if someone brings in dounuts or everyone decides to eat only french fries for lunch and I don’t partake I get “Oh, come on, you run all of the time. You can afford it!” Afford it? What does that even mean? Uh, running and eating semi-well go hand and hand to me.
Thanks for letting me vent. That is all!
People who give me crap about my hobbies usually aren’t educated about them. So, I take it as an opportunity to teach them something they probably didn’t know before. It won’t erase what they just said, but might change what they say the next time.
By the way, I can’t stop laughing at those photos – you look like you’re being chased by a creepy clown.
omg omg omg, that clown dude in those pictures is amazing!! hahahahah awesome.
people are dumb, aggressive is just fine. Go get it!
What race in KC???? We’re going there around May 1 (i’m running the OKC marathon)
We are doing the Trolley Run. Have you done that one?