Friendship is an affordable luxury
I wasn’t going to write a post about this, because I didn’t want to sound sappy and I felt like Mica covered it well in her “Here’s to you, Aileen!” post* – BUT – when I flipped over my mini calendar last night and saw what today/tomorrow’s page said, I had to share.
Hopefully this will come off how I think of it in my head, but I doubt it!
I’ve been feeling pretty good this year, and I keep asking myself why. What has changed that I am feeling so good? And when we got back from NYC on Monday, I was asking myself, why did we have such a freaking awesome time? And, how is it that I feel more relaxed in “busy” NYC than I do at home?
It’s so simple and silly – friendship. Being social. Being around people who genuinely care about me. Laughter. Being care-free. Being stress-free!
I’ve tried to make it a point to be more social this year. I joined a running club and attend many events. I am making new friends. I spend lots of time with my best friend. Steven and I traveled to see very close friends we didn’t want to leave and wish they lived closer. I have fun future dates planned with bloggers (some more set in stone than others)! There are many local bloggers I want to catch up with (there are many bloggers I wish I could meet!). Even the email exchanges with friends (you know who you are!) make me feel good.
And it’s simply because it makes me feel like people genuinely care about me, my well-being, what I think, what I want, how I am doing, blah blah blah.
And that is NOT to say that I don’t get that from my blog, from my husband or from my family. I DO.
I was just thinking about how at some places (which will go unmentioned), I sometimes feel like people don’t really care about me at all. And it makes me feel pretty crummy. It makes me feel sad.
It’s so nice to have the opposite – friends who listen to you and remember your interests. Who you can tell care what you are saying (and you care back). Who want the best for you. Who are sad when you’re sad, and happy when you’re happy. It sounds selfish when I write it all out as “me me me” but really, I feel the same way in return.
So… friendship is an affordable luxury. It takes time and you have to build on it, but it’s so worth it. And I know you are thinking, “Duh…?” but honestly, I have never experienced friendship like this before. Sure, I have had “close” friends for awhile, but we never keep in touch. And I have never been the type to have “dates” with friends. Seriously. I am pretty independent, and even in college, kept to myself. It’s nice to get out with people now! Even if just to chat at their place!
Alright. Sappiness over.
Tell me, who are the people in your life with whom you have this sort of relationship?
*A post about how despite dealing with some crappy stuff, Mica’s friend Aileen always has a smile on her face and makes Mica feel motivated with running and helps her deal with this crappy winter.
Themocracy
One of those meetups is MEEEEEE! I can’t wait, Kim!!!
Me either! It will be here before we know it 🙂
And ME!! I’ve actually used your blog and your discussions on friendship as motivation to make more friendship connections. you’re totally right…and it makes sense. We’ve been a social species since the beginning. Living in caves and being social. Living in small farm communities or cities near each other. Being social used to be the only form of entertainment. now we have too many other forms of entertainment that don’t really lend themselves to being social. It’s good to be independent (I know I am!) but we still need those friendships. It’s only natural…
I am happy that you guys have been making more connections too!
You bring up such a good point about the distractions (other forms of entertainment) that keep us from being social. I mean, most nights, we watch a movie at home. There is nothing wrong with that, and I love spending time with Steven, but now I have plans about one night a week, and realize it’s so nice for us to see other people, and that, SHOCKER, it’s not awful to leave the house, either 😉
I felt way more connected to people when I was in college. It was much easier since we were all living in the same small town. Now my friends are more scattered. A new friendship journey awaits me though. I am making strides this year as well. One of Joey’s coworkers even asked him if I would be her friend since she doesn’t know anyone in the area.
CHEERS for good friends who love you and make you feel happy!! It’s one of the best things in life. (And considering how I feel about romantic-love with one’s partner, that’s really saying something).
It is so great to find people who spending time with them leaves you feeling energized and happy! I think that’s so rare in our current society that we should definitely treasure the ones we find. I know I’m bad at staying in touch with people but I’m trying harder now.
I love that I have you now. I haven’t had really close friends since college and being friends with you reminded me of how wonderful it is to have those types of relationships in my life.
Thanks Erin 🙂 Your comment means a lot to me! I feel the same way. Before it was just me and Steven, which was nice, but it’s so great to have a girlfriend to chat to and share with. Especially since we have so much in common!
And I do agree that it’s hard to find people who energize us and make us happy. So many people seem stuck in their negative thoughts.
I definitely love spending time with friends with whom everything just CLICKS! It’s great that you are making more of an effort – I feel like I need to do that!
This post made me smile, Kim! 🙂
My friends are the world to me. I have been incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful bunch, many of whom live right in my neighborhood! And I am doubly blessed to have co-workers who care about and support each other. If/when I do leave my current job, that is truly going to be the hardest part of the transition.
I love that you have such a close-knit group of friends! 🙂 Of course, it’s hard not to be your friend 🙂
Great post, Kim! Thankfully I have a lot of friends from all stages of my life (high school, college, law school, work) that I can turn to at anytime. I feel very lucky for that 🙂
I have been trying to be more social this year too. Its hard though because I usually am exhausted from work and don’t want to go out. Its a work in progress but hopefully I can become more social. It was so much easier in college when everyone was on the same schedule and lived really close!
That is what I struggle with too – not wanting to do anything after work, and feeling so exhausted. But I have found that having a few weeknight plans surprisingly energizes me!
I wish we lived closer so I could come over. And run with you and get speedier!!!! 😀
Beautiful post, Kim. And you don’t have to apologize for being cheesy or referring to yourself, because it’s from the heart.
I have some wonderful friends that I value very much, and this post reminds me that I need to make plans with some of them! I have been mainly hanging out with the hubs lately.
Thank you 🙂
That is where I was too – just spending time with Steven, who I love and makes me laugh and feel great. But those other connections are really awesome too!
I like your point about needing to work on the friendships, but they do definitely pay off! I’m glad you’re feeling upbeat about your upcoming meet-ups…including ours. 🙂 It sounds like you and Erin have been having some really good races and then non-running times too. That’s the best way to get through these terrible winter months.
I definitely can’t wait to see you again!!! Oh, and Bodger and Harrison too (oops, not listed in order of preference) 😉
And seriously, this winter? BRUTAL! If it was not for friends and the club, I think I would be down and out!
Being social is SO important. Its something Im not very good at, but I notice a major difference in how I feel when I actually get out and do things with people.