Friday Question #130
What is/was your relationship like with your coworkers? Do you just tolerate one another, or are you fully involved in one another’s lives (or somewhere in between)?
I ask this question because my mom has been talking to me a lot about her new coworkers. They sound pretty crappy. She tried to tell one of them how sad she was about Steven’s mom passing away, and the coworker cut her off. At her last job, everyone was caring and kept up with one another’s lives. My mom was amazed that when I arrived back at work after going to Kansas City for the funeral, I found flowers and a card on my desk.
I am not super close with my coworkers, but we keep up with one another and chat from time to time. They don’t know everything about me, and I don’t know everything about them, but we laugh together, and can rely on one another. And we care about one another. I feel like I am part of a great group of people at work.
It’s quite common for people in my office to hang out outside of work, but I have just never been in to that! It blows my mind that some people spend all day with their coworkers then hang out with them on the nights and weekends too. Give me my alone time! Ha, maybe I just haven’t had the right coworkers!
Themocracy
That was sweet that they got you a card and flowers. My office doesn’t tend to do that unless you are in the “flower club”.
I really like some of my coworkers. As you’ve read on my blog, a handful of them are runners and do races with me. We also run during lunch. I don’t know everything about all my coworkers but it’s easier to keep up with the lives of those that I run with since we chat during our runs. I also go out to lunch with some non-runners on occasion and know a little about their lives.
I think it would be really fun to run with coworkers! My immediate coworkers are definitely not in to running 😉 There is a guy on my floor who does IMs and a few other runners though!
How sweet that they got you flowers and a card! I do think there is something to be said for keeping a bit of separation between home life and work life, but I suppose if you had really wonderful colleagues that you loved, it wouldn’t matter. I have to say, since I’ve been a stay at home mom for almost 16 years (OMG – that’s scary) there is only of my old colleagues I actually missed and still keep up with – the rest of them I was very glad to say goodbye to!
That’s nice that they thought of you! I have a few coworkers that I’m really close to- and definitely call them friends outside the office. I always say one is like an older sister to me. But there are definitely the ones that I just stay “pleasant” with and have no desire to know very much about them except for what they’re doing to directly affect my job… funny how that happens.
When I was working, I was in a decent sized lab. There were definitely coworkers that I cared about – some of my greatest friendships have started as working relationships – but there were plenty that I had a strictly working relationship with as well. All that said, we were, for the most part, respectful and kind to one another, and considerate of each other’s struggles in life. We spend so much of our time there – I can’t imagine working in an environment like your mom’s. That would make me find another job in a hurry….
My BiL works in a lab, and he is really good buddies with all of his coworkers. I wonder if the lab environment lends itself to that.
I am really close with all my co-workers but I think it helps that I am the only girl who works with a bunch of guys. In fact, from my last place of employment we still talk pretty much daily (have an email group) and see each other about once a month.
I love *most* of my co-workers – they are a really great and caring bunch of people. We do occassionally do things together outside of work (sporting events, happy hour, etc.). Some of them I consider friends. I even keep in contact with some former co-workers. I guess I’m pretty lucky that I’ve been fortunate in the colleague department.
“It blows my mind that some people spend all day with their coworkers then hang out with them on the nights and weekends too.”
What are they freaks? LOL. Seriously though, I like some of my coworkers and don’t mind getting together with them over lunch once in awhile, but I need space too. Plus, oftentimes you have to keep conversation restricted to certain areas (ie. Not politics,etc), or else you end up creating tension later on in the workplace.
Ha! I don’t think they are freaks! I just can’t imagine that for me right now. Oh yeah. And I can be kind of goofy outside of the office. I wouldn’t want something bad to slip out of my mouth!
I’m glad you posted this because some folks at my workplace are having a happy hour after work tonight. I almost never go to that kind of thing because my non-work hours are for me and my hubby! Also a lot of people in my org moved here for work, so they don’t have the kind of network of family and friends in town that I do.
However, I am very close friends with my boss, and we do things socially sometimes. With most of the other people in my department, I have a cordial relationship. We all just signed a card yesterday for a coworker who is having surgery. There is one person I don’t get along with AT ALL and barely speak to, which is a downer.
I work in a middle school. Some of the teachers, are worse than the kids. I am lucky that I have a few great friends here, but other than 2-3 people I don’t trust anyone. I will say, when something happens in the school or in someone’s life, people here do come together.
That was so sweet of your coworkers to do that! And I can’t believe that about your mom’s coworkers. 🙁 That just seems incredibly insensitive. While I wouldn’t say I’m close to any of my coworkers, we definitely are friendly to each other and I know the few I work closely with would do anything for me.
Some people at my work are really close. I am like you-I need a bit of distance.
Everyone is very interested in each other’s life, but not everyone gets together outside of work. My team thankfully does not. I see them outside of work about every other month. A perfect amount.
I enjoy the people in my department, but I don’t feel really close to any of them yet. (New department–I have some good friends in my old department) For grad school, I always wonder if I would be closer if I didn’t have Harrison around. As it is, I spend the day-time with other students (like going to lunch or the gym) and spend the evenings/weekends with Harrison. It works out well, though I’ve been told I’m anti-social. I think this is more because I don’t like to go to social events that revolve around drinking though…
The one year Steven and I spent in college, I never hung out with anyone else! And I could be called anti-social for that reason too. Most of the people my age at work just want to go to the bars. Doesn’t sound fun to me.
YAY! I can comment. 🙂
What was I going to say? Hmmm…Oh right! I am friendly with my coworkers. We hang out at lunch and gab. My team knows each other’s lives pretty well. We laugh and joke a lot. And some of us go out for happy hour a couple times a month. I consider many of them close friends even if we don’t spend time talking/texting/hanging out outside the office.
Thanks for coming back. I bet if I worked with you, I would want to spend time with you outside of work. Hee hee 😉
Back to the commenting 🙂
I try to be friendly with my co-workers. I think they see me as easygoing and nice, though I have my stressed out/grouchy moments. I used to think it was best to be friends with co-workers, but I’ve seen the complication of that. I try to be professional and friend-ly (not friends). I like to leave work at work. I’m not that social, in general, so that’s probably some of it.
I like to leave it at work too. I would be hard for me if I found someone I completely clicked with. I wouldn’t be sure how to act!
I’m friendly with my co-workers but we never hang out after work or anything like that. Every once in a great while we’ll go out to lunch but that’s not very often. Mind you, I leave this job next week for my new one so maybe that will all change with new people 😉
That is very sweet of your co-workers!
Funny, I was just thinking yesterday how I never would have known one of my dearest friends (Heather) if we didn’t work together. (and actually, I hired her!)
I consider myself friends with a couple of the girls in my department, and do a lot of social things outside work with my coworker Megan. I don’t like big group work outings, but I definitely make lasting friendships at work.
You probably make friends everywhere you go 🙂
I think that it would be hard to work where I do (an independent school) and not form at least one or two good friendships, along with a few other relaxed friendships. That’s about how I would I describe my relationship with people at work. Also, some of the best friends that I’ve made as an adult are people with whom I’ve worked. Maybe it’s because working at an independent school can sort of consume you? There are definitely times when I need a break, but I feel really fortunate to work with such funny and interesting people. A bunch of whack-jobs too, but that makes it more fun!
What do you mean by indenpendent school? It is not part of a district?
My mom works at a school too.
I have a good relationship with most of my co-workers. I’m not close to many of them, but we work well together and definitely share laughs. I have one friend at work who is also a good friend outside of work. We are the same age, have similar interests and our husbands get along really well. I like that we work in the same office, but not on the same projects — I think that’s key to an enduring friendship.
Here’s that bag of mixed worms question that has varying answers. I work directly with two others in my office area. One co-worker, who has been there for 12 years, we get along for the most part, but differ in a lot of areas, both work and non-work subjects. It’s frustrating some days because it’s hard to get stuff done without her being on board. Getting to that point makes the relationship mixed. Some good, some bad. My other co-worker, who has only been there a bit more than a year, we are on the same page a lot. Yet, his opinion matters about as much as mine does.
I miss my old boss, who I worked with at my current company and another one over 13 years ago. We had our differences as well, but learned to focus on the similarities, which made for a great team of getting a lot done.