Friday Question #118
How do you prefer to keep in touch with your friends – in person, via phone, email, instant messaging, texting, facebook, commenting on blogs, or other? How does how you prefer to keep in touch compare with how you actually keep in touch?
I think most of us would say that we prefer to keep in touch with friends by seeing them in person, but how many of us actually have that luxury? The friends I went to college with mostly live in different states, and honestly, we barely communicate at all. And while I have friends that live in Chicagoland, well, while they live out here, that doesn’t mean they are close*. The friends that we see the most live either 40 or 50 miles from our house. We mainly see each other on weekends. Or, if they work in the city, during lunch breaks (which is great).
So, I usually communicate via email. And sometimes (not always!), those emails only happen because they are stemming from a blog comment that one of us left. When I think about this, it makes me wonder if it is an artificial relationship – would we even be communicating if we weren’t blogging**? I mean, most of the friendships I have are with other bloggers, so I can’t make light of the fact that blogging is how the relationship started, but… I think I am just craving more. I think I just feel lonely sometimes, despite all the cyber world connections.
And, don’t get me wrong. I love personal emails and appreciate so much that someone would take the time to write something to me***. I just wish I could have more personal interaction from time to time.
*Except for Tori, who is a mere 5 or so miles from my house – why don’t we get together more often?
**What is interesting is that when I blog less during the week, I have less personal emails as well.
***Interestingly, two of the people I email the most (Gina and Courtney) are bloggers I have never met in person! And we just email – it’s rarely an email based on a blog comment.
Themocracy
Well, you met me. I am a ridiculously social person. And I like to keep a lot of contact, even with people far away. I’d say text is my favorite, I text a lot, and it makes me feel still connected to the person. But I am also so thankful for Facebook because I can keep in touch with people on a random basis, people I don’t need to email all the time.
i am like you. my friends are so spread out. if i relied strictly on in-person…i’d never be in touch with anyone. i like email. however impersonal it may be…it’s a lot more personal than not communicating!
I have to have coffee with Miss M at least twice a month or I feel totally out of touch with her.
Honestly, I love to keep in touch via e-mail. My friends live all over — from Boston to New Orleans to Denver. And for those who just live a couple hours away, I still find it’s hard to make the drive to see each other in person. It ends up being more stress than it’s worth (for me). Plus, I like writing, so e-mail is great for me. I have a hard time setting aside a half hour or whatever for a phone chat. I’m at work mostly during the week and, if I’m not, I’m usually preparing a meal or hanging out with Lawrence. I get a lot of fulfillment from e-mail relationships, but my friends remind me that not everyone is like that 😉
I usually get the fulfillment too. I just think… I need some in person friends too.
The best way to keep in touch is one on one time. But that isn’t always possible and I admit I turn to email a lot. I try to send cards still because I think there is something awesome about snail mail and recieving a letter. I dislike talking on the phone (cause I do all day at work) but I do like to text.
I prefer in person but that doesn’t always happen. I am not super great at keeping in contact with people and part of that has to do with my lack of desire to talk on the phone. I am much more inclined to text. I email a few friends but not many. I usually either text or send facebook messages. Some people I switch off between text and email based on what they have available to them (think: teachers).
My preference would be to have everyone over for a monthly dinner party but that’s not possible since most of my closest friends live elsewhere. I do email a lot. Text more. And should really pick up the phone and CALL people. Novel concept, right? Time just whizzes by and I feel like there isn’t enough of it. Sigh.
I’m not super social and don’t really like to hang out with people … unless we are running. All of my closest friends, except my training partner, live over 3 hours away. My preferred method of communication is telephone, but tend to rely on email more …
In person would be best but I also really enjoy email. Like you, many of my college friends are in different states (most of them FL since that is where I went to school) and a small group of us rely on email to keep in touch. We try to get together at least once a year but it’s getting harder as people have babies, etc. There are really only 2-3 friends that I talk on the phone to, b/c I’m really not a phone person. Primarily the only time I talk on the phone is when I’m driving to/from work (hands free on the phone!) and usually I talk to my mom in the evenings.
My grad school friends have all moved away too and it’s been harder meeting people IRL b/c it seems people already have their own lives going on. I’ve met people though the activities I’m involved in but those are mostly surface/situational acquaintences and not someone I’m necessarily going to call to go to lunch with.
When I religiously kept a LiveJournal (2003-2007) there were a group of girls that I would email with and a couple became friends IRL who I still keep in contact with. I still keep up with their other blogs now and consider them friends. Honestly I think some of the relationships I have formed with bloggers or had an online presence with have been better and more transparent than those formed other ways b/c I think there is often things we say on our blogs that we wouldn’t necessarily bring up with those around us.
I say thank goodness for modern technology. Email, facebook and blogs have helped me keep in contact with friends and make new ones. I am the first to admit I am terrible at calling people.
Oh I am terribly lonely as well. I don’t have many girlfriends. In fact, I have 1. I have a few friends that are girls but just not that any that I’m close with, mainly cause they’re so far away. But I have some really close guy friends so that’s good enough (just won’t work out too well when it comes to wedding time). My boss is always talking about her girlfriends but she still lives in the town that she went to high school in so I think that helps.
I noticed that since I left Facebook, I haven’t heard from many friends. People who would text me about stuff, suddenly have disappeared and won’t answer my texts when I ask them what’s going on in their life. Actually, one did reply and say it’s all on Facebook. That made me sad. To me, Facebook is very egocentric. I noticed that not that many people comment on each other’s stuff but talk a lot about themselves. Which can be the same about blogging at times. But I usually try to comment/like on Facebook & blogging. Though, blogging can be a bit more time consuming. Yours & Erin’s are the only ones that I comment regularly on. Everyone else is too famous to really be heard.
Eh. I don’t know. I enjoy texting a heck of a lot. Quick and to the point. Email’s good too. But of course getting together is the best.
I hear you. I have never really had girlfriends, and it sucks. I also envy those people who have a close knit group of friends like that.
The facebook situation is ridiculous! I agree that it is very egocentric. Ha. I am on there, but block many people’s updates, because it makes me crazy reading them.
“I just wish I could have more personal interaction from time to time.”
I feel the exact same way! I outgrew many friendships and many of my friends moved far away and seem only able to socialize via Facebook so it can get very lonely. But I’ve been trying to make new friends. Perhaps you could join a socializing site for women that organizes outtings and get togethers.:)
We have tried joining groups and I have thought about joining a local running club. Maybe I finally should.
I do a LOT of emailing – and texting, and Blackberry Messenger is a wonderful thing. Mainly because its free.
Sometimes actually talking to my friends in person just isnt possible. I guess thats a part of growing up? Life kind of gets in the way.
Can I tell you that I love, love to text!!!
My keeping in touch depends on the friend–some are more Internet savvy than others. Sadly, I almost rarely call anyone because I don’t really like talking on the phone.
I don’t think keeping up via blog comments is an artificial way of staying in touch at all!
I always love seeing peeps in person, but that doesn’t always happen. I really hate the telephone conversation, and am way better at email/facebook. It doesn’t involve time coordination, and it’s so much easier to drop in more often with quick hellos!
In person, in person, in person! I absolutely hate just keeping in touch by talking on the phone or all those other methods. FB, email, and texting are fun and nice but they just aren’t the same. Unfortunately for the friends that live farther away/that I have never met, FB and email are the only ways I keep in touch. Boo.
Great question though!
I think I prefer keeping in touch via e-mail just because I feel like I’m a better communicator in writing. And everyone is just so busy that it’s hard to keep up with people face-to-face all the time.
<3 <3
I’m bad at all forms of communication. I guess I’m just in my own head too much. I prefer in-person and email, though, when I do initiate it. I used to love instant messaging but after not having internet access at work for 6 years I got out of the habit.
Depends on the relationship. I mostly phone and skype with my mom and sisters. With far away friends, it’s mainly the occasional email or FB. With my local friends, we rarely phone or email, we mostly try to get together for coffee or lunch. Yes, I am one of those “ladies who lunch”, ha ha!
I definitely like seeing my friends in person the best, but I communicate with friends via text, Twitter, Facebook, email…pretty much daily. Right now the only friend I see on a regular basis is my roommate and that’s only when I’m in town. LOL.
Friends I’ve met: Instant messenger. If you are my friend and you don’t have me on there then I don’t talk to you on a regular basis. It is almost as simple as that.
Blogger friends: email.
I almost never see any friends in person. If email didn’t exist I would probably be completely alone because I rarely even have time for a phone call. I knew what I was getting into when I had 4 kids but sometimes I would like to pause time and just go have fun with MY friends. Most of the time though when we are not super busy I am either exhausted and just want to sit down or have no idea who to call or what to do. I don’t have a ton of girl friends and I really wish I did.
I wish we got together more too! But sometimes I wonder if you would even want to hang out with me since I come with 4 kids most of the time too. I worry that because you are so nice, you would hang out with all of us but then be mad (mad isn’t the right word, maybe disappointed?) that you wasted your time here hanging out with a bunch of kids. My kids are great, but they are still kids and I don’t want to make you feel like you need to hang out with ALL of us.
I do think we need to make sure we get together more often though! I always have so much fun talking to both you and Steven.
I totally don’t mind coming over with the kids are there! I love your kids! I loved our one-on-one time during the longest walk in the history of Kim & Tori, but seriously, I know that is not always possible!
mine’s up!
http://thefishgate.blogspot.com/2010/06/way-to-keep-in-touch.html