I can’t remember if I told you this, but…
Do you ever start to tell someone something, but then wonder if you already told them?
Of course, if you are a blogger, you may run in to a similar issue, where you start to tell someone something, but then wonder if they already read it. I picked up on this on Sunday, while I was talking to my grandma. She didn’t tell me she was reading, but it was obvious, because she already knew about half of the stuff I told her (and it wasn’t from talking to my parents).
The interesting thing is, there is so much we don’t write about on our blogs. Or, that I don’t write about, anyway! Did I tell you Steven did some autocross racing with Erin‘s husband, Jason on Sunday? Nah. Did I tell you Steven’s parents are coming to see our half marathon this weekend? Nope. Have I talked about how nervous I feel about being someone’s coach at work? Nah. There is a lot we leave out, so… it is important not to judge someone by a single glimpse into their life.
Oops. Where did THAT come from? I actually wanted to write about this blurb I read in the May issue of SELF yesterday. I do have the “I can’t remember if I told you or not” problem. Sure, I think blogging messes with it a little bit, but I really think it is the HUGE amount of emails I write, confusing my brain about what was shared via the written word and what was shared in person. Anyway, the SELF blurb said:
Ever start a story, only to hear, “You mentioned that already!”? There’s a reason it’s hard to remember whom you’ve told what: the self-focus required to relay an anecdote disrupts memory processes that usually link the story and the listener in your head, Psychological Science finds. Keep your audience straight by saying a pal’s name as you speak.
Okay, so that explains what is going on when you are telling an anecdote, but what about the rest of the time? Is this just one of those signs that I am turning in to an old lady? Or is it a sign that I am too connected in too many different ways… and my mind is confused?
Themocracy
All the time! I call it CRS and I have had it since I was a teenager. I let my friends know to cut me off if I have already told them something because I am the worst ever at doing it 🙂
I try really hard not to repeat myself because that is a huge pet peeve of mine. I hate when people can’t remember telling me something and so they tell me over and over and over again. I feel like an ass if I say, “Yes, you’ve mentioned that.” So I keep quiet. I have a friend that is a horrible repeater. The thing is that with each story telling he changes the details and chain of events. So I have to wonder if he even remembers what he’s talking about!
I read that the other day too! I always can’t remember what I have told someone until they tell me I already told them before. I always sort of thought it was because I had so many kids and my brain sort of went a little when I had each of them. I guess it is just normal and has nothing to do with that. Maybe because we both have a lot going on in our lives so our brains are busy and can’t keep up with somewhat unimportant things like remembering what we have already told people?
I like your theory – I am just too busy! 😉
Oh, gosh, yes! That happens all the time, and then I feel like an idiot. So I often don’t say something if I think I’ve said it before!
I have the reverse problem, too — if someone is telling me something they’ve already told me, I can’t figure out a polite way to say that to them, so I have to sit through it again. And sometimes more than once!
<3 <3
LOL!!! I can so relate… ironically lately I’ve found myself not saying as much cause I feel like I’m just repeating myself… and I may or may not be… I’m glad I’m not the only one with this problem!!!
=^..^=
My sister (who blogs also) and I joke about this all the time. Once my dad said to her, “oh so Kelly what’s new with your life? oh wait. I already know I read your blog” – he was joking of course but it’s totally true! People assume that you discuss your whole life when it’s really just the smallest fraction of it.
As for the feeling that I’ve already told a story, that happens to me every single day haha
haha I do that sometimes too. Except sometimes I KNOW I’ve already told them but I like to hear it again? haha
I HATE it when I do that. I’m sure I do it and I like it when people point it out instead of humoring me. But I don’t want people to think I don’t value our conversations and remember what I’ve told them. Guess it’s just human nature.
Umm…..all.the.time. I joke that I have the memory of a 92 year old, and that I blame it on all the Diet Coke I drink (don’t know if it’s true, but someone told me studies have shown it affects your memory). I am horrible! I always try to ask, “Have I told you this already?” I hate to see myself in 50 years!
Hahaha I do this all time! I re-tell things because I talk to so many people in a day at my job, I cannot always remember. But even worse, I sometimes forget to tell people things because I think I already have!!!
O . . . M . . . G . . . I do this so bad, especially at work. But then I excuse it by saying “oh silly me, it’s retail brain”. Retail brain is a term I use at work and it means forgetting things because you’re always pulled from one task to the next so you have an excuse to forget. I think I better stop this!
I utter that line a million times a day. My poor mom gets the brunt of it for some reason. I can never remember who I told what to whom.
I’ll tell you a little secret…I am so glad that I deleted the hell out of Snackiepoo.com because now, when I get that feeling, there’s no backup or proof, haha!
But yes, my family is a gang of storytellers and we often all tell the same stories multiple times. Ah well, such is life. 😉
i love this! especially about the “did they already read this on the blog” thing……BTW i never found your comments yesterday-not even in spam!
Hmm. I guess my comments disappeared forever! They seem to be working again now, at least!
YEP! I so relate! If I’m unsure, I often start with, “Did I tell you…”, which is slightly different than “I can’t remember if I told you…” LOL.
Also, I definitely agree with the whole “glimpse into the blog” thing. I think that is such a great and important point you made! So much is happening behind our posts that we aren’t sharing–intentionally, or unintentionally. I may write a blog post about that, myself.
I try to preface things with “Did I tell you…” because I find that because I have several circles of friends (both online and in person) that I have difficulty remembering who I told what and when. I also hate to repeat things that I’ve already written on my blog to people who I know read it so I never know whether to say something or not!
Haha…GUILTY as charged!
Umm, I think I already bother Chris a bit because I double share things with him all.the.time. Or, I start telling him something that happened with a friend/relative and then I’m like “oh, wait – were you there?”. Part of it is absent-mindedness but I do worry about how bad it is going to get as I get older!
I totally do this! I don’t know everyone that reads my blog so they may ask what is new in my life and I repeat what I wrote on the blog that morning. Then they give me a weird look as they already know. It’s hard to keep track, but if someone nicely says, oh yeah I read that on your blog, it usually sets me straight. I do think we are connected in so many ways these days, emails, facebook, twitter, blogs, face to face, it’s going to be hard to keep it straight sometimes.
It happens to me all the time and it’s quite embarassing. You’d think that I’m 80 instead of 23. 😉
I do that ALL the time. 90% of the time when Im telling a story I hear “yah, you told me that”. I also forget who told me what. I figure its because I talk to a lot of people during the week, but only a few of them are important figures in my life. So if Im telling or hearing a story at the bank, I’ll never remember who I was talking to. I always assume it was my mom or my boyfriend and it REALLY confuses me!
It will happen more and more as you get older. My husband’s friends constantly tell the same story over and over. That’s just living in the past. The worst part is that we all laugh at it the same way we did after hearing it the first time.
As for daily events, I think it might help to say a name when relaying the story/event/problem as to not repeat it to the same person again. Course that person could always pipe up and say “you already told me that”… like I do 🙂
Haha.. I do this all the time and my mom is HORRIBLE about doing it. You have no idea how often I hear the same stories over and over and over again from her. Even when I tell her that she’s told me something already she’ll eventually end up saying it again a few days or weeks later. Then she’ll do this thing where she starts telling me something and it’s something that I just recently told HER.
Oh gosh! Ha! My husband has done that to me… “did you hear about such and such?”
“Uh, yes! I am the one who told YOU!”
Ha ha ha.
I have different versions of the truth of just how much i reveal about my off-blog life to people. Not that I reveal “that much more” but ya know, little tidbits. And sometimes I wonder who ive told what to…i keep it straight pretty well, but ya know 🙂
I do that all the time. Just last night my partner and I were telling a friend a story that I thought she had already heard…she didn’t say anything, so I had to assume that we’d told this story already to a few other people. It’s hard to keep track, especially when you add in blogging too!
My big problem is remembering if I finished the draft and actually posted it or not.
Can’t tell you how many times I’ve written part 2 to a previous blog post, only to find I never posted part 1.
Gary
I don’t think that I do it all that much, at least people don’t point it out, but my husband tells me the SAME story about what he did at the most recent paintball tournament over and OVER…