Maybe variety is the spice of life
Let’s see if I can make this make sense… to someone…
Most days, I have these “aha!” moments where I learn something new about myself. It is exciting, because it makes me feel like I am one step closer to inner calm and happiness – the more I know about me, the more I can do to live my life in a way that makes me feel good. At the same time, I am thinking “why does it take me so long to figure these things out?!”
For example, this morning, I was on the train, thinking about my run tonight. I was thinking about how I wonder if we are doing an interval run, and that I don’t feel like running intervals or running in our neighborhood. I wanted to do a simple run, somewhere different.
Then it clicked. I DO like variety.
This is huge for me, because I have always thought of myself as a person who likes schedules and structure. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how wrong I have been. Sure, schedules and structure make me feel “in control,” but variety and spontaneity make me feel alive! It’s as simple as eating something different for lunch, seeing a friend during the week, running somewhere new, picking up a new hobby, or doing things out of order. Or even, at work, being called into a meeting unexpectedly. Sure, it throws things out of “control,” but it challenges me.
So maybe I need to spice things up a bit. Maybe I don’t thrive on structure and schedule like I always thought.
Do you ever have these “aha!” moments about yourself, where you figure out something about your personality?
Other “aha!” moments I have had lately – really, things I have figured out:
- I feel best when I put my needs first
- I can be too needy in relationships and for attention, and need to be careful not to come on too strong
- I feel genuine happiness and excitement for my friends when they succeed, but at the same time, I feel down when they are going through rough times
- I do not have any entrepreneurial interest
- It is not important what I think others expect of me, but what I want from me
Themocracy
I’m like you- I love schedules & structure but at the same time I like to spice it up (confusing, huh?) My latest “aha” moment would be when I realized deep down that I actually DO care about what other people think of me 🙂
A ha moment– I am responsible for my own happiness!!! 🙂
Ah, yes! We all need to remember that one!
Oddly enough I realized that while I love schedules I crave variety too! A bit ah-ha moment for me. And I agree with Danielle that as much as I deny it I do care too much what others think of me.
I feel best when I put my needs first but nobody around here will let me!!
I’m sorry I haven’t been able to comment much lately but I am reading your posts Kim! I promise. 🙂
That is what I feel like sometimes… why is it such a struggle to put my needs first?
Don’t apologize Ameena! I am very far behind too in blog reading and commenting. Life is more important!
I think my last “aha” moment came from dating woes… if I really like myself, and others do as well, why am I acting so shy and nervous?
It was one of those “be yourself” revelations, which is lame and very obvious, but sometimes it takes me a minute… lol
I just realized yesterday that I AM an outdoorsy person and DO like nature (which is totally different from being a sporty person, of which I am so not). A friend and I were chatting about childhood summer camp horror stories — both being totally unathletic and huge nerds — but realized that while we’re not any more coordinated or sports interested today, we do like getting outside and being with nature.
Only took me 24 years to figure out! 😉
I’ve totally been feeling like that too lately, that I continue to surprise myself with my likes, dislikes, and desires. Heck – I’ve recently figured out that maybe I do want us to have kids.
Oh wow! The kids realization is a big one!
Oh, yes, I have “aha!” moments. They usually make me feel quite stupid… like, Why did I not figure this out sooner?!
You make a good point about structure making you feel in control… I never thought about it quite like that, but I’m probably the same way.
<3 <3
I’m glad you are figuring things out that make you happy. Live life and experience what you want, not because you are supposed to but because you want to.
I used to put everything I had into my job and realized one day, it’s my family and friends that make me happy. Work doesn’t define who I am, it’s just a way to pay for stuff. So I re-prioritized things and I have never been more satisfied.
My team leader at work has always been very family focused so it has helped me feel somewhat less stressed at work. It is so easy to get caught up in all that though! I am happy you figured it out 🙂
I realized recently that I am super confident in myself in most circumstances but still a little insecure when I start to think about it. I don’t really know what that means other than it’s probably good that I forget about my insecurities so easily and mostly come across as confident.
I can’t think of any personal aha moments. But, I do have aha moments all the time. It’s often when I can’t tell you what I want, but I can definitely tell you what I don’t want. And by going through the list of what I don’t want, I eventually am able to express what I do want. The AHA moment is when I’m finally able to vocalize exactly what I want!
That is what I am hoping my aha moments get me to – figuring out what I want/what would make me happy.
I often have “aha!” moments and I love it. Learning new things about yourself is so exciting (but also kind of weird.. because you actually knew it all along but never realized it).
It’s so weird! At first, it is a revelation, then you think “well, duh!”
Yes! One of my recent Aha! moments came a few years back when I realized that I was actually an introvert. I like hanging out with people but man I really need down time in my own home doing whatever I want away from everything and everyone (except Scott). If I have to interact for several days in a row that drains me and I really need that many days and then some to recharge.
Regarding running, I do not like schedules other than a generic “hey it’s a run day!”. I found this out training for two halfs (I don’t think halves would actually be proper there.). Sticking to a very strict run schedule drove me batshit. Training for this one on my own in my own terms is going so much better for me!
An aha moment from long ago when I was a young mom: “If I don’t do it, it simply won’t get done.”
A more recent aha moment about a half year after going vegan: “I really do feel better when I don’t eat junk”
Now, how do we act on that last aha you mentioned?! Hee hee.
My latest aha moment wasn’t the best…but I have realized that I am really kind of a selfish person. 🙁 I am really working on that…
Hey, that’s okay. I am selfish too. That is why I think it is not really feasible for me to have children. I am way too much about what I want.
I don’t like my “a ha” moments. They are usually something that I really didn’t want to know about myself.
We are always changing. Just when we think we have a good grasp of who we are, we age a year or two and ….there we go again. Like, dislikes, goals, etc. they switch around on us.
That’s a good thing. Like you said…variety.
I think aha moments are the best because good/bad they can help you recognize why you do certain things!
My biggest one is when I realized that I have a temper that I don’t recognize and bottle up instead of dealing with. Once I realized that, I determined a dialogue to acknowledge it every time to myself. It is amazing how much better I feel after doing that 🙂
I bottle up things sometimes too! I know it feels easier than talking about them. That is definitely something I should be working on!
I love aha moments! I realized when I went to New Orleans that as much as I get anxious about leaving my comfort zone, I DO love travel! That was odd for me to realize!
I’ve also realized that I’m not that shy. I always thought I was shy. I’m not. I’m just reserved/quiet. I have no problem socializing though.
Another aha moment: I really don’t care what people think of me so much anymore. That’s a good one.
I think it’s awesome when we realize that things we used to think have changed, or self-perceptions were wrong. I also love routines, but I’ve realized I like variety too!
oThis makes perfect sense to me. I THRIVE on routine. Absolutely thrive. But in order to really LIVE, I have to spice it up a bit. So, when the opportunity to do something out of the ordinary comes up, I take it! And I like it! But for the most part, I have to have everything nailed down. That’s what gives me the confidence to take off in a different direction some days – because I have my routine to ground me.
I had a crazy a-ha moment the other day, when thinking about an old flame. We never even dated — he’s “the one that got away” — but I think about him far too often and it bugs me.
I was talking to my health coach about it the other day, and she suggested that maybe it’s something about him that I like/admire that I keep thinking about, not him, and it hit me: he fully pursues his passions in life (he got an MFA in writing) instead of going for the “safe” option, whereas I do the total opposite. It totally knocked me on my ass to make that connection! 🙂
Oh wow! What an interesting connection! I think I would have had the same reaction. I think I am more like you, which is why I made the entrepreneurial comment 😉
i am like you! i need variety in my life. great aha moment 🙂
I’ve learned a ton about myself — or maybe just finally consciously realized what I’ve known all my life — since I moved to Chicago in 2001. There’s nothing like moving to a strange city 1,000 miles away to do that. In retrospect, I think my mother heavily influenced the way I acted, felt and perceived things when I lived back home, and that wasn’t always good. Being on my own forced me to re-examine how I looked at myself and the world around me. I found out I like schedules for work, but not for play. I found out I don’t want to eat meat and potatoes for dinner every night (or ever, for the most part). I found out that I’m not really an angry person — I just need to take more control over the people I let in my life. And I found out I love to camp! Can you believe I’d never been camping before Brian and I got married? 🙂
Hmmm … I might have to turn this into a blog post of my own!
I would love to read your version of this! I could have added 10 more items to that list. I wonder if I am having the same thing happen to me since I live so far away from everyone as well (usually, happily).
I dont think I have any “aha” moments. None that I can think of anyhow. Ive never put any effort into getting to know myself, maybe I should, but the whole thought of it really scares me. I could go on about why, but that would take forever.
I had one of those “aha” moments this semester. It was “AHA! I don’t have to continue with the PhD if I don’t want to. I won’t be a failure!”
I’m glad that you’re having these moments. Hopefully, they are keeping you sane and happy. 🙂
Do you feel better about school now that you are done with the testing?
I am feeling more sane and happy. Especially after realizing I just need to do what makes me happy… it is as simple as getting enough sleep!
I definitely know what you mean! I love organization and schedule and structure and all that. I love to plan and know what to expect for most things. However, I definitely like variety some times.. in SOME aspects of my life. Running is one of them. Food.. not sure yet but getting there haha.
What do you mean by “entrepreneurial interest?” Cause I have a feeling I’m the same way.
Basically, I am watching my husband come up with all of these great business ideas and pursue them on his own and I am thinking… yeah, I could never do that! I am a motivated, hard-worker, but not really a creative self-starter. Is that kind of what you were thinking?
That is great you are having these revelations. I have had several of those lately. I think that as we grow up (because lets face it, we are still young!!) we learn more about ourselves even though we were supposed to have it figured out when we graduated from college. At 22 I was supposed to have it all figured out? No thanks!!!
You should enter the lottery for the 2011 Cherry Blossom 10 Miler whenever it opens. You will know with plenty of time if you get in and then you have to plan for the trip!!!
I bet we will be making these revelations for A LONG LONG time! Maybe that is why many people say they like their 30s better than their 20s 😉
Let me know when the race opens! I will have to see if I can find a work reason to be in DC then (that is the only way I ever get to go!).
Revelations are always useful, whether they are good or bad, so I’m glad you’re able to learn more about yourself through these “aha” moments. My most recent “aha”: although I enjoy spending time with my friends, I function better on my own.
my biggest aha moment was when I realized I am a control freak (specially in the house) and ocd. I am ocded about things not touching each other and be sterilized clean (god help me when I have kids)
I definitely consider myself routine oriented. But I know just what you mean….sometimes a little variety makes me really happy. Just as long as I can plan for it 😉
I am known as The Planner so none of my friends call me for spontaneous hang outs. It kind of bums me out because I LIKE spontaneity but I am also a control freak so I can’t seem to win. Le sigh.
I learn something new or deeper about myself daily. Therapy basically forces me to. 🙂
I love variety in running, but seem to take pretty much the same thing for lunch everyday. Although I dont think I could eat the same thing for dinner every night! I am a semi spontaneous person I guess! I like my schedule but I like to mix things up too…maybe I only like to mix things up on my own terms!
I like structure and schedules….for awhile. And then I get tired of it. I still like having a schedule but sometimes I need to swap out one thing for another. An “aha” moment I had in the past was that while I don’t like change, it’s usually not as bad as I think it will be.
Another one came from the author of “The Happiness Project”. It’s: “You can choose what you do, but you can’t choose what you like to do.” Meaning, just because everyone else loves to do it doesn’t mean that you do. And that’s okay.
I really need to read that book! It sounds very insightful.
I definitely need variety to keep me happy and I love moments of spontaneity, you’re right about them making you feel alive. 🙂
I’m sure that I get aha moments but I’m not sure if I’ve had any lately. Actually, I believe that I have but for some reason they’re slipping my mind. Aha moments are great though and I get this cool feeling every time I have one.
I love variety within a schedule. Seems like I am always having an aha moment LOL!