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By kilax, March 31, 2010 6:53 am

I forgot I wrote this! Wow, I have over 80 posts in my draft folder… I wonder what else is in there…

I know last week was pretty heavy with article links, but I really thought this article was interesting. Let’s just say it opened my eyes…

I read a really interesting article last week on the Well blog about self-defeating behavior. Don’t worry! This article does not contain any statistics or conclusions – just observations.

The article is written by Dr. Richard A. Friedman, a professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College, and it is about a pattern he has seen in some of his patients – that they repeatedly pursue a path that leads to pain and disappointment. That they set themselves up to fail, BUT blame it on “bad luck.”

Like I said, this opened my eyes, because I have met people who do this, but never realized it was what they are doing (I know, I’m not so bright).

In the article, Friedman gives a few examples of this behavior. One is of an older woman who complains that her children are ungrateful and her friends neglectful. He says:

As she spoke, it was clear she felt that all the major figures in her life had done her wrong. In fact, her status as an injured party afforded her a psychological advantage: she felt morally superior to everyone she felt had mistreated her. This was a role she had no intention of giving up.

As she left my office, she smiled and said, “I don’t expect that you’ll be able to help me.” She was already setting up her next failure: her treatment.

Friedman says this masochistic behavior is seen in people and in animals. But that it is a remnant of altruism that has lost value – you and your family will be better off if you succeed.

He acknowledges that terrible things DO happen randomly, and that a history of repeated failures does not mean someone is a masochist.

Many people fall far short of their potential not because they secretly desire to fail but because they are anxious about what it means to succeed.

But he points out if someone does have a pattern of disappointment in many areas of life, a therapist should consider that it could be self-engineered.

Treatment can help, including psychodynamic and cognitive therapy, but there is still no effective medication for masochism. It can be an uphill battle, as patients often try to defeat their therapists’ best efforts. But at least there’s a chance these patients can experience in therapy what they so expertly undermine everywhere else: success.

I suggest reading the article because my recap doesn’t really do it justice. I just read this and thought “Wow. Wow! I do know people who do that. Maybe even sometimes I do that!”

The thing is, how do you interact with people in your life like this? The people who think they have awful luck and the world is out to get them? I don’t know. I know I have some crappy things happen to me, but most of them I can understand why they happened. A simple example is that I feel exhausted and run-down all the time. I could blame it on working so far away from home, but I choose to live far away from home AND not get enough sleep. That is something I need to change.

What do you think? Do you know people who have “self-defeating behaviors”? Do you feel like you ever do?

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By kilax, March 30, 2010 7:03 am

Last week I called my mom while I was walking to the train*. She answered and said, “I shouldn’t talk right now. I’m driving. Oprah** said not to talk on your cell phone while you drive.”

We started talking about driving and talking on the cell phone (note: she did not get off the phone) and she told me that she saw all the statistics on Oprah about how your reaction time slows down when you are on the phone. She said she immediately thought, “That doesn’t affect me – I can drive and talk” and that was when Oprah said, “Most people think they are the exception to this. Most people think they CAN multitask while driving.”

And they do! My mother did! I’ve known other people to say the same thing.

I ran across this interesting article saying that only 2.5 percent of the general population are good enough at multitasking to talk on the phone and drive at the same time. The article calls these people “supertaskers.”

In the study, 200 people operated a driving simulator while using the cell phone. It took most people 20 percent longer to hit the brakes when needed, and their following increased 30 percent. However, the supertaskers displayed no change.

Of course, this study is very small, but it comes to the same conclusion as many studies I’ve seen – most people cannot drive safely and talk on the phone at the same time. And even though most people think they are the exception to the rule, they probably aren’t.

And while we’d probably all like to think we are the exception to the rule, the odds are overwhelmingly against it. In fact, the odds of being a supertasker are about as good as your chances of flipping a coin and getting five heads in a row.

Do you ever talk on the phone while driving (or even worse, text)? Do you try to avoid it, or do you think of yourself as a “supertasker”?

Of course, I am guilty of this. I answer my phone while driving. I will make a quick call too. And I don’t think I am great at multitasking. In fact, I know I am bad at it. And I am an aggressive driver, so that isn’t a good combo. I try to keep the calls short. Get to the point, and get off the phone. Of course, that could be the same logic that got many people into bad accidents! This is probably something I should work on.

*Some studies say it is bad to walk and talk too.
**My mother loves Oprah. I haven’t seen her show since… maybe the 90s?

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By kilax, March 29, 2010 4:41 am

So, what crazy thing did Steven make this week…?

Vegan Sausage!

Steven has been finding a lot of recipes that call for vital wheat gluten, so he decided to make some and use it to make Vegan Dad’s sausage recipe (which I think Vegan Dad got from Post Punk Kitchen)! Vegan Dad’s recipe calls for vital wheat gluten that you buy (dried) in the store, so this was a bit experimental…

Making vital wheat gluten (seitan)

You use one full bag of flour to make vital wheat gluten (also know as seitan). You add enough water to make it into a big dough ball (add about one cup of water at a time, as you are squeezing it into the flour; repeat as many times as necessary).

Note: don’t attempt to make a “volcano” and mix it all together.

It will spill down the counter all over the floor…

… and make a huge mess all over the cabinets! Ha ha. Steven made this mess while I was getting groceries so I didn’t have to clean it up!

You add the dough ball to water and let it soak for about 30 minutes.

Then, you knead it under running cold water for about 20-30 minutes. This washing process dissolves the starch, leaving you with insoluble elastic gluten.

You know it is ready when there is no more starch to rinse out, and the water coming out of it is clear.

Making Vegan Sausage

We mostly followed Vegan Dad’s recipe to make the sausage. We heated up vegetable broth (only used 1/2 c. since using wet vital wheat gluten), soy sauce, oil, garlic, nutritional yeast and all the spices (we used 1.5x the spices called for). The original recipe does not say to heat it up, but it makes mixing it a bit easier.

You mash up some pinto beans,

pretend you have a vital wheat gluten lung,

and mix it all together and start kneaded/squishing it!

It takes awhile to get it all mixed together. Steven pulled it into a long snake shape and pulled it apart to make the sausages.

You put the mixture on tin foil and roll it up into a tootsie roll shape.

Then you steam it for about 30-40 minutes!

We pan-fried ours for a few minutes.

Then it was all ready to go!

We ended up with 6 sausages in the end (one not shown as it was in our bellies).

The sausages turned out tasty and chewy! Steven wants to work on the texture a little bit because he thought it was a bit too chewy (I like chewy. And Chewie!).

And because they have fennel seed in them, they have a pretty realistic “sausage” taste.

We have been looking to alternatives to processed “fake meats” so this is a great recipe to use! Now we just need to perfect our homemade bean burgers.

Do you eat much “fake meat”? Do you have any recipes with sausage in them to share with me?

So far, we have eaten these as brats, and plan to try them on pizza as well!

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By kilax, March 28, 2010 6:19 pm

Day 155 | March 22, 2010: cross

During lunch, I did 20 minutes on the elliptical, 3 sets with the shin developer (20 ea @ 10 lb) then 20 minutes on the bike. Ho hum.

Elliptical Time: 20:00 | Distance: 1.62 (Set on “Gluteal 2”)
Bike Time: 20:00 | Distance: 3.35 (Set on “Forest Ride”)

Day 156 | March 23, 2010: rest

Day 157 | March 24, 2010: 5 m run + strength

I did a mini-strength workout during my lunch break:

Shin Developer: 3 x 20 @ 10 lbs
Seated Leg Press: 15 @ 70 lb, 15 @ 70 lb, 15 @ 90 lb
Leg Extension: 15 @ 30 lb, 15 @ 45 lb, 15 @ 45 lb
Leg Curl: 15 @ 30 lb, 15 @ 40 lb, 15 @ 20 lb
Hip Adduction: 3 x 15 @ 55 lb
Hip Abduction: 3 x 15 @ 115 lb
Lateral Raise: 15 @ 25 lb, 2 x 15 @ 37.5 lb
Biangular Lat Row: 15 @ 45 lb, 2 x 15 @ 65 lb

And Steven and I ran 5 miles when I got home from work. We wanted to do hill repeats but since we don’t have any real hills around here, we just ran on a “hilly” route near our house. It was raining a bit, but it felt nice!

Distance: 5.0 | Time: 51:05 | 1: 10:13 | 2: 10:03 | 3: 9:43 | 4: 10:34 | 5: 10:29

Day 158 | March 25, 2010: yoga

Steven and I did the Core Yoga Flow segment of the YogaWorks Fit Abs DVD after work. Yikes… I have been a falling behind with doing yoga, and my body felt it. I actually got out of breath. I need to recommit to yoga!

Day 159 | March 26, 2010: 7 m tempo run

What a beautiful day for a run! Despite the cold and wind (40° is cold now? What happened?!), I was looking forward to running in our favorite forest preserve. I was confident this would be an easy tempo run.

Maybe not. I felt a bit blah. Oh well. You have days like that.

We ran 2-mile warm-up and cool-downs and three miles at “tempo.” Check out the splits. It was kind of close!

After we got back in the car, I made sure to make up for my “calorie deficit” (ha!) by eating almost half a bag of Newman’s Own Organic Mighty Mini Pretzels. I wasn’t even hungry, I just couldn’t stop eating them! Damn, these pretzels are addictive. Nice and crunchy!

Hmm, how did that picture get in here?!

Distance: 7.0 | Time: 1:12:15 | 1: 10:30 | 2: 10:33 | 3: 10:14 | 4: 9:55 | 5: 9:43 | 6: 11:02 | 7: 10:14

Day 160 | March 27, 2010: cross

Steven and I checked out a “new to us” forest preserve – Grant Woods. I didn’t know about it, and it is only a few miles from our house! Steven noticed it when he drove Data to the vet this week. I was so excited we went there! I love exploring new parks (especially ones with trails – this one has 6 miles)!

We went on a 4.75 mile walk. It was nice and relaxing… and it was a little bit easier to have conversation that it has been during our runs! It was a bit overcast, but it felt warm to me (45°).

Apparently, they have been burning down the prairie here! We noticed it the forest preserve we were in on Friday too.

Steven was thirsty, and we found this cool pump that you use to make the drinking fountain work!

We made a video too:

My middle toe on my left foot felt sore after our walk (weird, right?) so I put these bad boys on:

Data doesn’t seem to like them!

Distance: 4.75 | Time: 1:24:52 | 1: 16:56 | 2: 17:45 | 3: 19:12 | 4: 18:38 | 5: 12:19

Day 161 | March 28, 2010: 8 m run

We went back to Grant Woods for an eight mile run. It was a beautiful day (temps in the high 50s and clear blue skies!), but pretty windy – winds at 20 mph with 30+ mph gusts! We saw a few people flying kites!

I felt pretty good during this run, despite my legs being a bit sore from our walk. Does anyone else feel like walking works different muscles than running?

Jack (the Garmin) was acting a bit funny and did funny splits then ate our data (ha, our run data, not our cat Data!). Oh, Jack.

Steven pre-fueling

Before the run.

Stopped at the car for a homemade granola bar mid run. Notice it looks a bit different? Erin gave me her old food processor so I processed it!

After the run.

Guess what I ate on the way back to the house?!

Edited to add: Our data miraculously showed up on Garmin connect so I added the link.

Distance: 8.00 | Time: 1:27:36 | Average pace: 10:57

Week Summary: 20.00 miles

So. This week was a bit… lacking. In variety. I DO NOT want to turn into “girl who only runs and gets injuries because she does not cross train” again! It is time to RE-COMMIT to yoga and strength training, even if all I want to do is run. Ugh.

I had a really vivid dream Friday night that I was training for a triathlon. I was even doing a brick workout (ride then run). Is this a sign?

I cannot believe the Chicago Marathon reached full capacity this week. Last year, it was in the end of April. A whole month earlier? Insane! I found an interesting article about preparing for the Chicago Marathon. Here it is for all of you running it! Who is running Chicago this year? I’d love to know!

Also, if you ran the Chicago Shamrock Shuffle last weekend, you may enjoy this video that they sent to the volunteers. Make sure you check out the part at 00:14 when two tourists are seen pulling luggage through the middle of the race (wtf?)!

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By kilax, March 28, 2010 8:59 am

I am having the same Akismet issues I had back in November – Akismet (my spam filter) cannot connect to my server, so it is not working. I am getting hit with a lot of spam, so activated WP-SpamFree in the meantime (which doesn’t show comments, just spams them).

I should be able to fix it eventually, but please shoot me an email if your comment are not showing up (kimilax@yahoo.com). Thanks!

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By kilax, March 27, 2010 5:53 am

I didn’t wait too long to dig into my Newman’s Own Organic stash. In fact, my sister, Christina, and her boyfriend, Will, arrived for a visit on the day I received the package – perfect excuse to open a few things!

And open away we did… we tried quite a bit! There was so much though, that I will separate the reviews into a few posts, starting with… COOKIES!!!

In this post, I will review:

• Fig Newmans (Wheat-Free and Dairy-Free)
• Fig Newmans (Low Fat) not vegan
• Hermits (original)
• Hermits (ginger)
• Newman-O’s (original)
• Newman-O’s (chocolate)
• Alphabet Cookies (chocolate)

The exciting thing about Newman’s Own Organics is in the title… they are organic! So you don’t have to worry about what is in them. You can actually read the ingredient list without wondering what the heck some things are! Even though the calorie count is similar to their conventional counterparts, I didn’t feel awful after eating them (physically and mentally).

Click “continue reading” to read more!

Continue reading 'Newman’s Own Organic Review: Cookies!'»

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By kilax, March 26, 2010 11:12 am

Do you have a green thumb? Do you grow plants/herbs/vegetables inside your home or in a garden? Or do you tend to kill them/have no interest?

In our home, Steven is the one with the green thumb. We have 9 plants in our living area – four corn plants (one which is Erin’s!), two peace lilies, one palm, one “White Bird of Paradise,” and one I cannot identify (ha ha). Three of the plants are from funerals of family members, so they have special meaning. (I apologize for the crappy iPhone pics – I accidentally froze our camera in the car.)

We think this is a peace lily

Erin’s corn plant, mystery plant, and the other peace lily

Two corn plants and the palm

“White Bird of Paradise” (???)

The huge corn plant

Some people think it is strange that we have so many plants, but I like it!

And I would LOVE to grow some veggies and herbs! Unfortunately, I cannot garden in our yard (we don’t “own” our yard) and Data would probably eat anything we grow inside… but we might try something on the porch later this year!

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By kilax, March 25, 2010 5:42 am

Thank you all for being so nice on my confessions post yesterday. I didn’t mean to be so dramatic, but what the hell? I’ve been feeling shitty, and I might as well lay it out there. Reading all the comments made me instantly feel better, especially knowing so many of you can relate. I may cut back on posting a bit, but we’ll see how that goes. This is one of the “fun” things in my day!

So, I had a post about an article I read on self-defeating behavior written for today, but I am going to save it for a rainy day. Instead, you get to read a RANT. Yay!

My theory: when someone you see on a regular basis doesn’t take your interests seriously, they are telling you that they just don’t care about you.

Example? Oh, let’s just say you are vegan (this is just an example, remember). And you have explained what “following a vegan lifestyle” is to someone – not eating eggs, dairy, honey, avoiding animal remnants in clothing and body care products to the best of your ability.

Yet, you repeatedly get questions like this from this person:

• Can you eat raisins?
• Can you eat bread?
• Can you eat tomatoes?
• Can you eat corned beef?

Really? Really? I can eat WHATEVER I want, but remember, I told you about this vegan lifestyle I try to follow…?

How hard is it to understand? Half of the questions are serious, half are done for an audience. Sure, I will be the butt of your jokes, no problem… but all you are doing is telling me that my decisions don’t matter to you, that you don’t respect me, and that you think this interest of mine is stupid.

Think about it. It doesn’t have to be about what you eat. It can be about anything you are interested in – running, knitting, telling Chuck Norris jokes, biking, racing, working on your car, baking… when people don’t take your interests seriously, they don’t care about you.

And that’s fine. It really is. I don’t want everyone I meet to care about me, especially what I eat (because who cares what I eat?). Just please. Don’t be so obvious that you don’t give a shit about this interest of mine.

What do you think? Have I lost it? Or can you relate? Do you know anyone who doesn’t take YOUR interests seriously?

I understand that not everyone will be interested in the same thing as me. I sure as hell am not interested in the same things as many other people. But when they talk to me about them, I try to listen, remember what they said, and ask follow-up questions that make sense the next time they bring it up. Even if it is something I really, really, really don’t care about…

Comments (94)

By kilax, March 24, 2010 5:46 am

It is Wednesday, right?

• I’m a somewhat worthless wife. On days when we don’t workout in the evening, I just want to come home, eat dinner (maybe) and go to bed. By 8:30.
• I haven’t stayed awake through watching a movie in the evening in a few weeks. I just ask Steven how they ended the next day.
• I’ve been having a hard time eating healthy. I leave my money at home in the morning so I am not tempted to get something sugary and bad for me when I feel stressed out at work.
• I think I have gained 10 pounds in the last few months. Yeah… the leaving the money at home plan just came to me.
• I am not as excited about some things as I should be.
• I didn’t feel like working out last night, so I got home and slept on the couch while Steven made dinner. He woke me up to eat, and I ate while laying on the couch. Then I went upstairs to go to bed. I still feel tired so I brought a neck pillow with me to use on the train today (see below).



• I look tired and crappy ALL THE TIME and I don’t know what to do about it (see photo above).
• I haven’t gotten my hair cut since August.
• I am bored. Not “bored with nothing to do,” but “bored with what I am doing.”
• I am caught in the middle of political bullsh*t. and I am so sick of it.
• I don’t want to be nice all the time.
• I don’t want to have to act like I care about drama when I don’t.
• There are a few little things that bother me about blogging, and I have to bite my tongue not to say anything.
• I feel restricted about what I can say here.

I think that’s it for now. I feel a little better.

Anything you’d like to confess?

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By kilax, March 23, 2010 4:56 am

There was a really interesting study on the Well blog last week about how the types of conversations you have affects your happiness level.

According to the study, people who spend more of their day having deep discussions and less time engaging in small talk seem to be happier.

The way they came to this conclusion is kind of ridiculous – they had 79 college students wear electronically activated recorders that recorded 30-second snippets of conversation every 12.5 minutes for four days. The researchers collected the conversation snippets and evaluated whether they were “deep discussions” or small talk (The examples they gave for “deep discussions” included talk about current affairs, philosophy, politics, religion, education and even analyzing television character’s motives. Small talk examples included talk about the weather or maybe watching a tv show.). Then, they compared the conversation ratio to self-reports they had the students do about satisfaction/happiness in life as well as to reports done by others who know the student. They concluded that the happiest person in the study had twice as many substantive conversations and only one-third the small talk as the unhappiest person.

The researchers’ theory behind this is that substantive conversation makes us happier because as humans we are driven to find and create meaning in our lives, and because we are social animals who want and need to connect with other people.

“By engaging in meaningful conversations, we manage to impose meaning on an otherwise pretty chaotic world,” Dr. Mehl said. “And interpersonally, as you find this meaning, you bond with your interactive partner, and we know that interpersonal connection and integration is a core fundamental foundation of happiness.”

I agree that bonding and connecting with people in general makes me feel happy. And I agree that I feel an urge to do that (hence, this blog!). However, and this is going to sound awful, I am NOT good at having “deep discussions.” I am of the “live and let live” mindset and try not to force my opinion too much on other people. And so many of those “deep discussions” lead to debate… so I sometimes avoid them! I have never been a good debater, and am not sure if I care to be. And sure, I wish I was knowledgeable to discuss “deep” topics with people, but I also enjoy discussing fitness (obviously), food, travel and other “meaningless” things.

I guess I am a bit put off. This article made me feel stupid. Because I know I wouldn’t have many “deep discussions” on my recorder. And I am not quite sure if they would make me feel any happier. At this point, I just feel excited when ANYONE wants to talk to me about ANYTHING. I tend to get a bit isolated, so the rare chit chat with my coworkers and friends puts me in quite the good mood. Maybe this is something I should work on. In the article, they mentioned that they would like to research if trying to have “deeper discussions” would lead to an increase in general happiness.

What do you think? Do you think the kind of things you discuss with people affects your happiness level at all? How do you notice interaction with people, in general, affecting your mood?