I do what I can
Sometimes, no matter what you do, you feel like it is never enough.
It’s not enough to…
- eat quaker oats for breakfast, it should be steel cut oats
- use pre-milled flaxseed, you should mill it yourself
- drink enough water to stay hydrated, you should be drinking filtered water
- make your own homemade wheat thins, if they still have sugar in them
- try to limit your sugar intake, if you are still eating regular sugar
- try to eat a healthy diet, you should also be fasting
- sprout your own beans, if you aren’t sprouting the right ones
- eat produce, if it’s not organic
(No, this isn’t about other bloggers.)
I do what I can. I am not perfect or trying to pretend I am. I eat processed foods. I struggle with overeating. I think I ate 20 oreos when I got to Iowa on Monday. I am pretty sure I will be eating my way through this sadness over my grandpa’s death.
But with all of that being said… I don’t feel bad about who I am. I am trying. I am trying to live a healthy lifestyle. It’s a bumpy journey. It’s even bumpier when you try to share it with people* who only want to tell you what you should be doing differently.
It’s funny. I am around people who don’t think about this stuff at all (they don’t exercise or watch what they eat) but I am the one getting all of these “suggestions.” Why talk to me? Why not talk to someone who is not doing ANYTHING?
And the thing is, if someone lectures me for a long time, basically telling me how to live my life, I’m not really going to buy into anything they are saying if they can’t back it up. I’m not. So, a tip – know what the hell you are talking about.
So what if I like cock soup?! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
(Just kidding… it has chicken fat in it)
*Not everyone reacts the way I am describing, obviously.
Themocracy
I hear you! As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, I pick my poison…but, at least I try 🙂
Ain’t relatives fun?
Thank you for this post! I think healthy living is about doing the best you can with what you’re given. Not everyone can afford organic produce. Does that mean that person should just give up and start eating McDonalds daily? No. And some people *like* McDonalds — who’s to say they can’t indulge in a burger and fries every now and then?
Do the best you can. Try. Be conscious of your body. Don’t let anyone else dictate what makes you happy.
There is nothing wrong with indulging, that’s for sure! Thanks for your encouragement 🙂
Ugh– I know what you mean. I feel like the moment you announce that you are vegan or vegetarian (or even that you try to eat healthy), everyone has an opinion about what you could be doing better– AND it’s like they’re WAITING for you to do something “unhealthy” so that they can call you out on it! Stay strong, Kim!
Ha ha. The people at my office act astonished whenever I eat something “bad” even though they eat “bad” all the time 😉 They just jump on me!
Just found your blog and I love it! I will be reading!
As far as it never being enough, isn’t that just the story of life in general?!?!
Thanks for commenting! I love meeting new bloggers! I will check out your site soon! 🙂
We are all just trying. Sorry to hear about all the (hopefully) well intended suggestions – those get to me too. Actually, the worst was all the “helpful” ideas some of my relatives had for job fields I could go in to. Did you know that 40 years ago anyone with any type of college degree could be a substitute teacher or a paralegal? You know I bet it is the exact same situation now….
Sorry, I could go on and on about this. Being saved from the suggestions was one of the things I first thought of when I got the job last week. Healthy living stuff is worse since it’s something you are trying to adopt forever!
I know someone who is getting TONS of job suggestions as well… they said they were going to start writing down the really humorous ones 😉
That picture is hilarious!
I think people give advice to people they see who are trying because they think they are being helpful. What I hear when people do that (and it sounds like you hear this too) is “you are not doing well enough”. I also think people like to think they know what they are talking about even when they don’t. I’m really sorry you are dealing with this. The thing is, nothing is ever perfect, so there is no way you could ever live up to a goal of perfection. And people picking apart what you are doing isn’t going to help at all! People should just do the best they can and then not worry so much about it. Life is supposed to be FUN too, right? Like that p90x guy says “do your best and forget the rest” (I am laughing as I write that because it always makes me laugh when he says that).
Ha. Steven and I laughed when we read this. We quote Tony all the time 😉
I have found that most of the people who offer “suggestions” like these are the ones who are unhappy with their own lives. You are doing the best you can, and that is a lot more than many people can say for themselves. Just keep doing what you are doing and be proud girl! Thanks for posting this. 🙂
I hear you! I don’t walk around telling people how they should eat, yet there are plenty of people constantly telling me I need to eat things that I am not eating.. like MEAT! Unfortunately extended family is the worst. Evertime I go home (it never fails) my aunt tells me that I am too skinny, that I have lost hair that I don’t look good… that men like women with meat on them… really?!?
I cannot believe your fam is like that! Oh wait. This post is about MY fam. LOL 😛
Sometimes I think people are just trying to figure out how to be better because they can’t grasp that brass ring. Someone who is doing the best they can? Is very attractive to others. 🙂
I agree. I hate feeling overwhelmed with all the healthy advice out there. I just went to CVS to get a general multivitamin, but I couldn’t even figure out where to start because there are so many kinds. (And really, you’re supposed to take, like, three kinds of supplements, spaced out throughout the day. Nope.)
I think doing what you can is great! I’ve decided that it’s a bit like donating to charities–you can’t hit ’em all, so it’s best to commit to the ones you choose.
I totally agree! It is so frustrating when you do more than 98% out there and yet someone picks on you! I don’t get it! Maybe people just want to feel better about themselves so they focus on the one thing they can pick on?? I don’t get it either but it is annoying.
I think they DO feel better about themselves. And I think they really believe they are being helpful!
We’re human & so not perfect and are basically meant to slip every once in a while. We can eat as healthily as possible but sometimes that just doesn’t work. I ate a bag of chips when my grandpa died and feel ok about it. There were more important things out there at the moment.
But sigh.. I think people generally like to lecture vegetarians and vegans because they think we’re missing out and being stupid and naive and “need protein”. Ha. Ignoring them sometimes isn’t that easy though (after you’ve heard all the advices over and over again). Stay strong Kim! 😉
Cock soup. Wow.
Just ignore ’em, Kim. Or sometimes it is fun to turn the table son them, and say, “Oh, do you mill your own flaxseed and make your own Wheat Thins? I’d love to hear all about it.”
People used to give me grief about doing animal rescue but not volunteering for people, but of course those people weren’t actually volunteering themselves! Just commenting.
It’s so dumb. I try to ask them questions back about what THEY are doing and they cannot back it up.
I cannot believe people gave you crap about volunteering for animals!
My motto is: everything in moderation. I’m a little skeptical of anything in extremes. Maybe the people making suggestions to you are just trying to find a common thread through conversation (versus being judgmental). And maybe they really do think you could be doing more. I think you’re doing just fine. And more importantly, if you’re comfortable with what you’re doing, then you really don’t need to change.
It used to be enough for me to run one mile, watch what I eat but still drink lots of diet soda, and lose weight. Now? I’m running 4 miles, only drinking one cup of coffee and the rest is water, feel like I’m starving all the time and still can’t lose a friggin’ pound. ARGH!
I am there too – doing more and losing less. I think our bodies adapt. Stupid bodies! 😉
Everybody is different and what works for one isn’t going to work for the other. Agreed I do what I can and what works for me. I tend to get really cranky when people try to lay guilt-trip type crap on me. I also get really cranky when people correct my grammar. Leave me be! LOL
P.S. I love cock. But not in soup form.
Btu look how different things are now than a year ago or even a month ago. You can only do what you can do, you are human and sometimes you splurge. I know how you feel, I have been trying to eat better but get so tempted and eat things that I s hould now. But each day is a new beginning and I can only make an improvement one day at a time.
I am around people who don’t think about this stuff at all (they don’t exercise or watch what they eat) but I am the one getting all of these “suggestions.” Why talk to me? Why not talk to someone who is not doing ANYTHING?
Probably because it’s easier to talk to someone who seems like they care in the first place as opposed to trying to change someone’s behavior. Like, you’re already trying to eat and live healthy so you must be interested in what they have to say. Someone who isn’t doing those things isn’t going to care or listen.
Doesn’t make it any easier to hear, though.
I once dated a guy who reminded me that we are human beings meaning we are constantly BEING. It’s a process, all of it, this living. What other people say or suggest, whatever their reasons (rational or irrational, well intentioned or nosy) is not important but what you feel about you is.
Keep being true to you.
Hugs.
People like to talk and offer unsolicited advice. I think it makes them feel “useful” and like they’re bettering their own lives by telling other people what to do! The only person you need to answer to is YOU; and if you’re trying, that’s all you can do, no matter what anyone else says.
<3 <3
These people definitely think they are being “useful.” 😉
do what you can, and who you are is always okay. these are two things i constantly remind myself. b/c there is SO MUCH of “it’s never enough” or “not good enough” floating around. you are honest and honestly i think that counts more than sugar-free wheat thins 🙂 because life has sugar in it. and too many cookies. life happens. big bear hugs xoxo
I understand where you’re coming from. I get “suggestions” all the time (eat more protein, your not getting vitamins, being vegan is strange and wrong…)
Just try and ignore all the white noise and do what’s best for YOU 🙂
The thing with “health” is that there is always someone who thinks they know a better way. And there is always something different to try. Stephen Colbert just interviewed a guy who subscribes to “The Caveman Diet,” which involves eating “like our ancestors” (basically, this guy eats fruits, vegetables, and lots of meat). There is always some philosophy around eating choices. I can get very caught up in this since I’m a perfectionist and I want to cover EVERY SINGLE base. What am I supposed to be eliminating? What’s suddenly unhealthy? I can’t really keep up. I do what works for me. I eat according to my personal values. I don’t want to feel guilty for what I do. I feel like I’m a conscientious eater, health-wise and ethics-wise. I can’t be “perfect” (and “perfect” is different depending on if you’re talking to a Caveman dieter, a vegan, a vegetarian, a raw eater, etc). Mostly, I forgo the labels and just do what is right for me. If I listened to everything, I wouldn’t eat at all. Been there, done that, no thanks 😉
Isn’t that so true that we never feel that we are enough??? I am trying to move past this one, knowing that I am doing the best that I can. I am the only one who can really know if I am doing my best and I call myself out when I know I’m not. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re less than!! That’s what I tell myself anyway…
That is what I tell myself too. I KNOW what is best for ME! 🙂
HaHa! No cock soup. All that matters are the efforts and happiness. I don’t eat perfect either. I scarfed down some nacho cheese and chips over the weekend…what is that stuff even made of? Hang in there 🙂
I totally get what you are saying! And honestly, I think some bloggers do come off as never making a food mistake and being perfect with exercise. But that is not real life. Real life is indulging sometimes. Real life is eating cookies. Real life is taking a rest day. You live a real life!!!
I wish more bloggers blogged “in real life.”
I love you sister just the way you are!!! You are wonderful, and don’t need to change anything about yourself because of what anyone else says. Just live your life the way YOU want to live it. Don’t listen to the crazies because honestly we all know they are crazy and who would want to be like them?!
Well here is my general opinion: you can only strive to be your best not someone else’s best. Now that I have said that can you slack a little so I feel better about my sorta lazy best LOL
I like that! I will strive to be MY BEST!
It is all about balance. I would drive myself crazy if I tried to do it all. I pick and choose … and some times, I choose the warm brownie with vanilla ice cream. I’m okay with that, I don’t do it very often.
I can so relate to this. Being a diabetic is hard. You always have to examine everything you are eating and sometimes it is quite simply irritating to have to do that all the time. My father is a diabetic, and when I was first diagnosed he kept giving me all kinds of advice, including how I could only mostly eat huge quantities of meat, and not many vegetables or fruits. It made me crazy that he would keep telling me these things, as he never even attempted to eat like a diabetic should and never even watched his blood sugar. Also, the advice he was giving me was so wrong. I had a dietician work with me and he was so off the mark. When I would try and explain to him that he was mistaken on a few things, he would not listen and continue to insist he was correct. I finally told him to not talk to me about diabetes and food.
You go girl! I HEAR you and totally agree. It’s so hard to keep up with the expectations of what other people define as healthy. I would dare to say it’s true even in the blog world. It’s hard to feel like we’re doing your best when everyone else seems to be doing better. With that said, we do what we can. My professor always tells us, “People are always doing the best they can do at that time.” It’s taken a while for me to buy into this but I feel like it’s true in many ways.
And you Kim, are kicking some serious ass. Cock soup lover or not.
cock soup lol! i agree with this post so much, though i see it a lot in the blogworld too, unfortunately. i get easily offended when people tell me how to live my life (exercise, eating, etc) bc i’ve struggled so much to find a healthy balance and i don’t need to be judged for it, but you’re right, you don’t have to buy into anything they say and it doesn’t have to make you feel bad about yourself!
That is how I feel too. I am struggling to do what I can so LEAVE me alone! 😉
OK – I had to laugh when I saw the Cock soup!!
I find that the people with the least amount of experience are the ones with the most advice. My dad always used to tell me what I was doing wrong with my horse and then would get pissed when I said “if you know so much then YOU do it”. Maybe not how you should speak to your father at 16 – but I still think I was right!
I could have written this post (well, maybe not so well, but I know what you are talking about.)
I try to be nice to everyone but sometimes I just want to tell these know-it-alls to shut it.
Someone mentioned above that it always seems like it is those who know the least that think they know the most. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
“I am not young enough to know everything.” –Oscar Wilde
That picture made me laugh out loud! HAHAHAHA
You are perfect, just the way you are. Have a sugar filled, scrumptious piece of cake or a cookie or something. Life is short.
Thank you Robin. Life IS too short!
You have to do what’s best for you and what works. It’s not realistic for people to be perfect. I’m sure as hell not, and honestly I don’t want to be. I want to be able to enjoy a slice of cake! (or oreos if that’s your prerogative)
Being lectured sucks, I’ve gotten it a ton for people who have no idea what they’re talking about (UGHH you CAN be healthy by eating carbohydrates! Someone suggested I do the low carb thing not too long ago. Ridiculous!
Such is life. I like to think they say it because they care. I guess it should just help make us more conscious if we are ever tempted to do the same.
Ah I so agree! You can’t do EVERYTHING and just because someone thinks it is right doesn’t mean it is right for you. I have no desire to be vegan but that doesn’t mean I’m not healthy! So what if sometimes all I want is a huuuuge pile of french fries? Everyone has their own opinion and of course it is going to be different, but if what you’re doing works for you (and isn’t totally off base), then keep on with it. I’m not hurting you, you’re not hurting me. (Unless you’re a 300 pound patient who can’t move themselves and therefore I hurt my back because you can’t get yourself to the bathroom…just saying.)
Linda and I were just talking about this today – the flax thing! In trying to encourage people to use flax in our workshops, we always say it is best to grind it yourself, but what if that means someone won’t use it at all then, due to the hassle? Isn’t it better that the person uses the pre-ground flax instead of not using it at all? I think we all do the best we can, and Kim, you do pretty darn good!!!
Kim– you are already a thousand steps ahead of me! I think you are doing a great job with your food choices. You’re making an effort and that counts for a lot. And thank you for sharing it all with us, I never once thought about making my own wheat thins or veggie broth! Do the best you can and don’t let the naysayers or critics bring you down.
Thank you Gina 🙂
I’m sorry you feel like your surrounded by people who don’t care about what they eat or how much they exercise, your dad and I sort of let ourselves go when company is here but we try to walk and not eat so bad when we are on our own.
I am not talking about you and dad. I am eating like a slob too. I am talking about how in general I exercise a lot and try to eat healthier and they still pick on me.
Awesome post. You’re so right, that it’s about balancing things out. And it’s impossible to please everyone. It really is. By the way, I happen to think your wheat thin recipe sounded absolutely perfect. 😀
Oh, and can you imagine how *boring* life would be if we truly were perfect all. of. the. time? I think learning and growing is all part of the enjoyment of life. 😀