Sorry, your limit is 150
Have you heard about Dunbar’s number – the theory that your brain can only manage “stable social relationships” with 150 people?
Robin Dunbar, a professor* at Oxford University, developed this theory in the 1990s. He theorizes that the size of our neocortex limits us to managing social circles of about 150 friends – that’s 150 friends that you contact each year and can remember how they relate to each other.
Of course, the study was in the news this week in relationship to Facebook. There are many articles out there saying even though we amass hundreds of friends on Facebook, our brains are only capable of managing that core 150. Dunbar is revisiting his study to see how it relates to Facebook. From the UK Times article:
Dunbar is now studying social networking websites to see if the “Facebook effect” has stretched the size of social groupings. Preliminary results suggest it has not.
“The interesting thing is that you can have 1,500 friends but when you actually look at traffic on sites, you see people maintain the same inner circle of around 150 people that we observe in the real world,” said Dunbar.
“People obviously like the kudos of having hundreds of friends but the reality is that they’re unlikely to be bigger than anyone else’s.
“There is a big sex difference though… girls are much better at maintaining relationships just by talking to each other. Boys need to do physical stuff together.”
So, what do you think of his theory? How many friends do you have on Facebook? Do you know who they all are and keep in touch with them all? Do you think you stick to the core 150? Do you think he is right about the “sex difference”?
I have 112 friends on Facebook. I try to keep it limited. And I still don’t keep in touch with about 25% of my “friends.” The thing is, it doesn’t matter if you don’t keep in touch with people on Facebook. I don’t think that’s the point! It’s more for “networking.” They are not relationships you absolutely have to maintain.
I suppose I am just naive in hoping that some relationships are not ONLY maintained on Facebook.
After reading these articles, I really started to think about how the 150 rule may relate to reading blogs. I mean, how many blogs can you really keep track of? I subscribe to about 350 (and believe me, that number is WAY down!) but can only keep straight the ones I keep in my “daily read” folders, which is probably close to 150 or 200. To me, it just means so much more to read a blog and feel like you know who the person is, even if you don’t have a real life relationship with them. So, one more set of questions:
Do you think the 150 relationships theory could apply to reading blogs? How many blogs do you keep track of?** Do you think you could manage more than 150?
*Of Evolutionary Antrhopology
**As always, my apologies for the prepositions.
Themocracy
I can’t imagine reading 150-200 blogs! I only read a handful of blogs with any regularity and where I comment. I read a few others through google reader regularly, but never comment. And then there’s about 20 or so that I subscribe to, but read less regularly, sometimes missing up to a week’s worth of posts. I’m impressed that you read so many.
Don’t be impressed. It is something I should cut back on! I love the blogs I read, but get far behind in reading and feel just a teensy bit stressed out 😉
I subscribe to around 40-50 blogs and read them all — try to comment but sometimes, no.
That theory makes a lot of sense. I have around 700 friends on Facebook and I KNOW all of them, but if you were to ask which ones I’d call up and want to hang out with, the number would drop much lower. Maybe to 150. 😉
Interesting theory! I just went and counted the blogs on my sidebar and there are 39, but not all of them post regularly and two of them are my other blogs, so I guess there are probably 15-20 that I follow quite closely. I also sometimes check out blogs other people have on their sidebars or other commenters on blogs I read and then if I find one that’s interesting I add it to my sidebar and follow it. I also have deleted blogs from my sidebar if I don’t really find them interesting or if they really don’t post much anymore. I like to use my sidebar because that seems to be the easiest way to also comment – I like to leave a comment because I know how much I appreciate hearing comments myself. And from what I understand about Google reader is that it isn’t really conducive to leaving comments.
You do have to open a new tab outside of reader to leave comments. It would be cool if you could do it IN reader! Ha. Then I wouldn’t be so worried about the blogger/blogspot thing. I think I have a temporary solution for that though.
Wow…150 blogs is intense! I don’t think I could manage that. But I really think it varies from person to person. I know some people who have a ton of facebook friends and seem to keep in contact with all of them. I’m definitely more of a “small group” type of person! 😀
150? I can barely manage a handful of real friends. Online I feel like I can manage more, but that’s mostly just reading and not commenting. Facebook? I’ve got way too many people on there and that’s why I don’t bother reading anything.
I’d like to think that if one (i.e. ME!) tends to classify one’s friends into different categories, this “cap” goes up, because you’re juggling “types” of people first?
I have a group of people who call me by the name of my fave Beatle, others who call me Lynne, and others who call me by my “official” name; I have schoolmates, ex-colleagues, college pals, yogis, Chicagoans and now Springfieldians. Add to this the wonder that is bloggers (like you!). None of these groups are mutually exclusive.
So when I see I am at almost 250 “friends” on FB, on one hand I know it’s a way too big to be effective number, but on the other hand, it reflects the different types of people in my life.
That said, it’s totally true, I may have ~250 pals on FB, but in reality I might interact for reals with maybe 20 of ’em! But another point to keep in mind: look at you and me, we’re FB buds, but FB isn’t where we interact — we do that via our blogs, and it’s meaningful interaction too.
Um, so, I have no idea how to wrap this up. So I won’t LoL!
150 blogs?!? Holy crap, woman! I have like, 35 in my reader and it overwhelms me sometimes!
On the other hand, I have 400 Facebook friends (401, actually 🙂 ), so I guess it all evens out. Of course, I’d say I’m only really “friends” with maybe 50 of those people?
I read 15 blogs, and I would say 14 of them are “reciprocal reads,” i.e. the person does not have a million subscribers and knows who I am and comments on my blog. I think that’s enough to keep me with fresh insights popping up in my reader throughout the day.
I think it’s interesting about the sex differences in making and maintaining friends. A girlfriend & I were talking about how our husbands couldn’t just invite another guy out for coffee. I guess it’s the homophobic thing that straight guys are always dealing with. While we actually got to know each other because she invited me for coffee. It is a lot easier (in general) for women to bond my talking and sharing confidences.
I really only continue to read blogs that every actually comment back. I know some people think that is awful, but… it’s a two-way street, imo!
I love how people are mortified by how many blogs you read…haha, they should never ever ever know that I log into 245 unread items almost every day.
However…I don’t pay attention to every blog every day? I don’t pay attention to every Facebook status update either. I think that guy is right. It’s too hard to play with more than 150 people at one time!
LOL, I thought it was funny too. I thought everyone read that many blogs. Oops. No wonder I am never caught up!
I love that you find these studies and theories and then comment on them! You’re a thinkin’ lady!
I have a lot of Fbook friends, but I never purge or anything. I only keep in touch with a few, maybe fewer than 150!
And I would totally agree with that statement that girls are better at maintaining relationships than guys. Harrison hardly ever talks to his college friends, but I try to keep up with mine on a regular basis. Oh boys…
Hmm… how many facebook friends do I have? Ah, 244 🙂 I probably had double that but whittled it down quite a bit once I graduated from college and did a “who will I actually talk to now that the chances I’ll run into them occasionally are very slim” cleaning. I do tend to pay attention to updates and stuff on them but I have some friends who don’t really sign in ever or post stuff on it (cough Chris cough).
Blogs? I’m really trying to keep it down (and for me, that means under 50). I stopped reading a few of the bigger blogs I used to read (mostly because there is really no chance of getting to have a real dialogue with them, you know?) and that really lightened the load (3 posts a day for some of them, woo). I think I can keep track of more than 150 blogs, but I wouldn’t really consider those to be bloggers I feel a connection with if that were the case.
I am cutting back on those 3-day posters now too. I want to develop a relationship at some level. You just don’t feel like that is possible with them. I don’t think they want it. I think they are happy with their little clique.
I’d never seen this before, but it was very interesting! I always thought it was kind of ridiculous that some people have a few thousand friends on Facebook… how can they possibly know all those people?! I’m not sure how many Facebook friends I have — less than 80, definitely. Until pretty recently, I didn’t have a single Facebook friend that I hadn’t actually known beforehand! It bugs me to be just another tick on someone’s “Facebook friends list” so that they can feel popular. If you’re not going to talk to me, why are we pretending to have a relationship??
Blogs are different, I think; I can handle reading a lot of them, but not commenting on them all. I start having panic attacks when my Google Reader gets too overloaded! 😉 But I don’t really consider reading a blog to be a “social relationship,” not unless there is a reciprocal awareness of each other between the blogger and me.
<3 <3
Interesting. I never heard of that before.
As for blogs, there are about 6 I check out every week. I try to seek out new blogs every week depending on my particular realm of interest that day/week.
As for keeping track of 150 – forget it.
I heard that the other day – I think that is so interesting!
I kind of laugh because I have a lot of friends who have 1,000+ friends on FB….and it’s like, really? I don’t even know that many people, I guess. 😉 I have about 230 friends, and a lot of them are people I just connected with from grade school/high school that I don’t talk to regularly. I should go through and delete some…but then I feel bad!
I just had to check, but I subscribe to 83 blogs. Honestly, there are several I just skim through and don’t comment on – but I can’t bring myself to unsubscribe! Geeze, I’m so lame.
Just unsubscribe. You won’t miss it. 😉 And if you do, you can re-subscribe!
Interesting, I have about 77 friends on FB. I have a rule, if I don’t know you then I don’t add you. I have also not accepted friend invitations from people who I really do not want in my life.
I subscribe to about 70 blogs, but after a while I cull the list.
I don’t think that I will reach the magic number of 150 but I guess looking at my life experiences, perhaps I have.
I am just like this! I always cut my lists!!!
I think it is time to do some editing to my list, even though I just did this fall!
I’m subscribed to 61 blogs right now but it’s really difficult to keep up with them sometimes. I can’t imagine what it’s like with 350 blogs!! I don’t know about that 150 theory.. I don’t have that many friends on facebook either because I don’t send out friends requests and am quite happy with the few friends that I have. VERY interesting post. I especially liked that part: “People obviously like the kudos of having hundreds of friends but the reality is that they’re unlikely to be bigger than anyone else’s.” We’re all the same after all! 😉
Ha! I liked that quote too. It’s funny that people think the amount of “friends” you have on FB, means something. It kind of doesn’t. Just like how it doesn’t mean anything how many comments we get! Yeah, we love them, but it doesn’t translate over into real life too much.
That’s really interesting- I’ve never heard of that theory. I’m having trouble keeping up with everyone’s blog 😕 I just feel guilty not giving everyone the same attention on their blog that I get (plus I like reading the posts)! But I know sooner or later…something’s gotta give
I’m subscribed to 215 blogs right now, but I’d say I click “mark all as read” without reading about 75% of them. My job in WA doesn’t block most blogs, but they do block photos from showing and a lot of the blogs I read are cooking and home reno/decoration, so they’re worthless without photos. By the time I get a chance on the weekend I’m overwhelmed by the 900+ unread posts so I just skim my absolute favorites.
This is an interesting theory. I think I’m a believer. I have ~450 “friends” on Facebook, but rarely use Facebook to actually keep in touch with people. Like you suggested, I use it more for networking when/if I need it. For example, I keep in touch with a bunch of kids from high school so it’s easier to discuss/organize reunions when they come up. Outside of that, I’m not really day-to-day friends with any of them.
And it’s funny, but I am VERY selective with my blogging subscriptions. My feed reader says I have 190 blogs … but I’d say at least 20 of them are inactive or rarely active … and another 20 are news-related blogs that do not require input from me. Because my time is limited, I try not to over-stretch myself in that realm.
How interesting! I have almost exactly 150 friends on Facebook. Of course, I don’t consider them all “friends,” but they’re there. I’m pretty introverted and can only manage so many social relationships. I’d say my limit for maintaining good, solid connections is 20. I do get overwhelmed following blogs sometimes. I follow a lot, but I only commit myself to commenting and engaging with a select few (you included!). I’d say I have about 10 solid “blog relationships,” though I skim upwards of 50 blogs. Interesting!
That’s a cool theory, and one I haven’t heard before. I remember hearing a similar theory (although I can’t remember the source) that we are able to recognize the faces and names of over 1 million people, which seems astounding, but when you start including the names and faces of people you “know of” like celebrities, it does start to seem plausible.
I just checked, because I wouldn’t know off the top of my head, but I currently have 334 friends on facebook. That seems like a lot to me, because I know I’ve even gone through and weeded people I never talk to out occasionally. But I can say that with the exception of a handful of people, I have met each one of those people in person at one time or another. I started on facebook in college which accounts for most of my “friends” on there. It was such an easy way to learn and remember the names of the people in my classes, which I believe was the original intention of the site anyways.
For me, the most surprising outcome of using facebook has been reconnecting with people from high school. It’s surprising because they’re mostly people I never talked to or were even friends with back then, but now it seems like I communicate most often with that group more than any other group of friends I have on there. It turns out, people are so much nicer when they’re no longer insecure 16 year-olds! Haha. Who would have guessed?
I don’t subscribe to any blogs, I just check my blog roll from time to time, and keep mental note of who updates their blogs most frequently (you are up high on that list! good for you!). I’ve been thinking about trying it out though, but for some reason I’m hesitant…dunno why.
You bring up a good point – FB did start out as a college tool. Wow, has it ever changed.
Why are 16-year-olds SO AWFUL? Gosh. I feel so bad for parents.
Give reader a try! You may like it. Or it may consume your time 😉
I just checked and in my “daily reads” I have 55. I have another folder with about 25 in them. I keep it low because I believe in personal relationships with people. When I talk about a blog I read I like to know who I am talking about. I used to want to be one of those bloggers that had 500 readers and got 100 comments but I don’t think I could properly keep track of it and then I would feel bad.
As for FB…I totally have people on there that I don’t talk to often, but I am proud to say I personally know all my FB friends!!! And now I am going to find you!
I am trying to do the same thing – know who I am reading. I love exchanging comments and emails and keeping track of everyone. Hmm. Is that weird?
Those people who get so many comments and have so many subscribers must not care that they don’t respond. It just comes off as so impersonal to me!
i think even 150 is pretty high for me! i KNOW more than 150 people, but that’s all it is – i’m acquainted with many, but friends with.. well, i’d say less than 150 🙂 maybe up to 150 if i count all my blog friends!
That’s an intresting theory. Originally when I joined facebook I had over 400 friends… but one day realized that I don’t really keep in touch with all 400 of them. I had people from high school as my friend and I thought high school was 11 years ago.. half of these people probably don’t even remember how to pronounce my name, the other half at some point made fun of my accent so why am I friends with them and went through and cut back to 250 and still feel like that is WAY too many. My sis-in-law has over 1000 friends in her friends network on facebook… I doubt that she keeps in touch with that many.
As far as blog, I honestly don’t know how many blogs I read a day. I have about 50 that I visit everyday and another few dozen that I visit at random… I could be off with the number…
I do agree wit hthe theory though once your circle gets really big then you don’t truely know much about those people… at that point I call the acquaintance
I’m surprised that number is so high because I don’t think I could effectively manage more than 25 relationships. As far as blogs go, I struggle with this and have recently changed my folder structure to help me manage them. I have a folder for close friends/family that I’ll read daily. This is limited to about 10. I then put all my running blogs into 1 of 4 folders, one for each week of the month. During that week, I will make sure I get to those blogs and comment on something they are doing. Although I may only visit their blog once a month, I’m still keeping in touch and providing encouragement. I also have a 1010 in 2010 folder to watch those bloggers working towards my same goal.
That sounds like a good technique! I would be stressed about “missing out” on something though. Sigh.
The blog thing kind of frustrates me. There are so many I want to read, but I just don’t have time to get to all of them. At present, the ones in my Reader are grouped into “Every Day,” “Foodies,” “Fun Stuff,” “Newsy Stuff” and “Work Ideas.” The ones in the “Every Day” category are the ones I try hard to read (you guessed it!) every day that they publish a post — there are around 50 of those. The others I read when I can. As for FB, I currently have 259 friends. Every six months or so I pare down the number, but I definitely don’t regularly connect with all of my friends. Truthfully, some I’ve only stayed “friends” with because I don’t want to hurt their feelings by unfriending them. In my real life, I’m more interested in having a small group of really good friends than a super large social circle.
interesting– i think everyone must be different and i’m intrigued by the idea of a ceiling capacity. me personally- i can only handle a small number of REAL relationships. it is limited to my family, elliot, and close friends, as well as people i see on a mostly daily basis. i even notice this in relation to blogs– i can only be a good commenter on so many and these have to be people i really feel connected to/feel like i am interested in the things they talk about/feel invested in their stories, etc. i do read quite a few, but only comment on 15 i think. i mean the number goes up as i “meet” people but again it is within a manageable range and it has to be otherwise i couldn’t do it.
facebook is fun for me to browse my friends from the past and stay up to date on what everyone is doing. pictures, notes, etc. i wouldn’t call them relationships, it is more like a touch and go check in type thing. i don’t even consider it networking b/c i’m not really gaining anything from it or giving anything to it. just checking in. it is mostly fun for me b/c my siblings are on it and i love getting blast from teh past messages or wall notes from people here and there.
I do like to interact with my sibs on FB! That is actually the only reason I signed up – to watch over my sis. LOL.
You do bring up a good point about being a “good commenter.” You can tell when people are just commenting to leave a comment. I try not to do that. But sometimes, I feel like the material of a blog only allows you to do that… if all they talk about is what they eat… all you can say is “ooo, that looks yummy!” And sometimes I do leave comments like that, because it is someone I like and I do think the dish looks yummy… but do I really need to leave that comment? Hmm…
I agree with this 100% and it is in part what I meant by personal relationships. I totally know when someone “just comments” and honestly, no comment would be better! I try to make all of my comments personal and/or in relation to the specific person and/or post.
I always joke that I don’t even know that many people! I have 95 “Friends” on Facebook 🙂 I agree with you, though, that it’s more of a networking tool than a way to actually foster relationships. It is nice to check in with people who you otherwise might never talk to again.
I have 65 subscriptions in my Google reader 🙂 And I’m even thinking about dropping some of those! I think I must be on the low-end of how many stable relationships I can maintain. Certainly not 150!
I know I have less than 150 FB friends…I’m thinking it’s in the 130s. I never approve anyone I don’t know or can’t remember, but I do have more friends on there than I really even talk to. I probably talk regularly to 10-20 of the people on my list.
As far as blogs, I must be a blog slacker! I read less than 10 blogs on a regular basis and probably only always comment on 6-7 of those.
I think the theory makes sense but that number seems big to me. I prefer to keep my life simple and only really invest myself in a handful of relationships.
I don’t think you are a slacker. Based on people’s comments, it seems that I am in the minority! 😉
I cannot keep up with blog reading. It is really putting a dent in my blogging as I feel guilty posting when I’m not reading/commenting on others’ blogs. My readership has grown and I follow anyone who follows me (unless I don’t like them, which is only a couple) and I am struggling.
I get personally attached to bloggers–I really do care about them, and that makes me feel guilty when I can’t keep up and well, I’m really struggling right now.
So 150 blogs to follow would be lovely–fewer would be better so I could keep up.
I read through bloglines now. I can read and if I have time, I can click through.
That would be a lot of blogs to follow. I don’t know how anyone could keep up with 150 blogs/facebook/twitter each day!
I can only do it because I ride the train for about 2.5 hours each day and have wireless on my baby computer. 😉
Should I be ashamed that the phrase “Boys need to do physical stuff together” made me chuckle?
No! Not at all 😛
This is SO interesting!
I recently went through and cleaned out my FB friend list and it’s around 150/160 I think. I was tired of having people on there that I never was really friends with anyway and honestly, what’s the point of trying to be friends with someone I haven’t seen in 10 years? Sounds mean, but I don’t see the point.
I do think I’m pretty good overall at maintaining friendships over space and time but maybe I just want to think that I am 🙂
I wanted to comment on this when I read it earlier this week. I have 180 friends on Facebook, but probably regularly interact with about 25.
As you know, for a variety of reasons I drifted away from blogging and for me, the little status updates on FB are like microblogging moments for me. I actually have had people tell me irl that they enjoy my little updates b/c it keeps them tuned in to what I am doing. And for the more than 25, I feel that way as well with their updates.
But Facebook is an interesting beast for me b/c there are a lot of people from my theater days that I keep up with that way, and get invitations to their shows and whatnot. I probably would have completely lost track of them otherwise, b/c I am just not part of that community anymore.
I also like to play games and participate in memes on FB. 🙂
I feel bad b/c I wish there was some way I could mesh the blogs I read (honestly? I have only about 5 blogs I read regularly anymore, and I hardly ever add new ones these days) with FB so it would all be in one place. Well, some people do post their blog posts on to FB, and sometimes I read and comment there. But generally, yeah, it is sad but the brevity of communicating on FB (and the chance to have a back and forth dialogue a lot of the time) has made me gravitate much more toward FB and away from blogs these days.
(I realize I didn’t just answer your question, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the FB vs. Blogging topic lately!!)
I really keep track of (i.e. read all the posts on) a lot fewer blogs than 150, but I have more blogs than that on a list that I check occasionally because I like reading posts even from people I’m not very familiar with.
I don’t even know how many actual blogs are in my Google Reader…hundreds, but some of it is work stuff and other is news related to where I live and places I used to live. I’d say I follow 300-400 blogs thought and my reader is always always at 1000+. Eventually there are folders where I just delete everything…i try not to get worked up over it…I just love reading! LOL. I do have almost 500 friends on facebook but definitely don’t actually talk to all of them!