Conflicted views over the abundance of food
This is a weird post, because I am trying to pinpoint where a feeling is coming from… and I really can’t. So please bear with me and let me know what you think. (P.S. Steven turns 29 today! Happy Birthday you old fart Steven!)
As you may recall, my floor potluck was last Thursday.
There are about 100 people on my floor and I think there was enough food for 300. Seriously.
There were at least 6 rooms filled to the max with plates and plates of food. I actually took photos to show you how ridiculous it was, but it would be inappropriate to post them. Basically, there were two dessert rooms, three rooms of entrees, one appetizer room and I think one more room filled with food. It was just too much. It was overwhelming.
I have been in situations where there is WAY too much food per person (hello, family gatherings) but it has never made me feel this bad, and grateful at the same time before.
I felt guilty that there was just SO MUCH FOOD for each person. And I think almost everyone contributed something. The potluck had an “ethnic” theme, and since I work on such a diverse floor, there was an amazing variety of food (a lot homemade). Just, so, so much of it. I kept saying, “I cannot believe how much food there is here. We are so lucky.” And I was grateful that everyone was so generous! And the party was a blast. We had food set up all over the floor, and people were congregating all over, chatting cheerfully and singing songs… it was very festive.
I just felt weird being around so much food. I knew a lot of it would go to waste and I knew the amount of food present was not necessary. I felt wrong to indulge in so much food, for some reason. I guess, I just feel like there is no reason to have 75 different dishes. It’s too much. It left me feeling bad.
Of course, after I wrote this on Saturday, we went shopping for groceries for ourselves and 3 extra people who will be here for 5 days. We had to shop at four different stores (ugh) and our first cart looked liked this:
And we had this many groceries to put away:
Hypocrite much? We are definitely focusing on simple meals, and not making a TON of dishes (drives me nuts) but still that is a lot of food. ‘Tis the season to indulge?
What do you think? Have you ever felt like this around an abundance of food before? Or am I just thinking about it too much?
Interestingly, Paige wrote some similar thoughts on cruise-ship food at the end of this post – I bet she would love to hear additional feedback! Check her post out.
Themocracy
we used to be really bad at buying a bunch of groceries and then never eating at home, and therefore throwing a lot of food out, which would make us really sad because of the waste. So I’ve definitely felt that before. I’ve never had those thoughts at a party or gathering though. Food is often a way to bring people together so it is something to be grateful about too in that situation, I think.
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Hi Kim,
I don’t think you are thinking about it too much… In fact, I wish more people would think about it MORE. As you very well know (which probably drives your concern and need to discuss), so many people in our country have so little to eat or nothing at all unless they go to a shelter.
As an urban dweller, living in the heart of a city whose homeless poulation is rather large statistically, I see this every day. We have a Publix (major chain grocery store) in our neighborhood. I often see my homeless neighbors (odd term, I know, but that’s what I consider them, since I see them daily) come in with a dollar or two, in their hand, and stand at the deli, in the produce section, or on an aisle, and determine what they can get for that tiny amount of $$.
I believe the question (for me anyway) is: How do we take action? In all that I do, my motto is the same: To encourage others to think, discuss, and act. Would you have felt differently about the food if you knew that at the end of the holiday party, the leftovers would be donated to a shelter, etc..?? How would you have felt about organizing such a donation? How do you think your coworkers would have felt about your suggestion?
Ironically, our office party evoked some emotions in me, too, related to the food. The event was a coordinated effort of four of us. At the end of our meal, we had quite a bit of food left over and two of us watched with disbelief as a few of our coworkers loaded up, saying “My kids will really like this. I won’t need to cook for two days.” This made me really mad because…. ?? Well, my thought was, “This leftover food will be a nice treat Monday for our office staff who don’t get two weeks off, like the instructional folks.” Instead, though, my coworkers were so narrowly focused, I don’t think the thought even crossed their minds. And I didn’t speak up. Man, this makes me MAD.
Which brings me back to the beginning: What can we do? We’re thinking. We’re discussing. Now, what can we DO? What can I do?
Kim, I believe things get put before us for a reason, and your post is a timely one. I visited Second Harvest Food Bank warehouse a few months ago, and learned about the significant need in our community, but my schedule (presumably) prevented me from volunteering time. Since I recently resigned from my adjunct (evening) position to focus on other things important to me, I am ready to make the commitment (one Saturday morning a month or an afternoon a week.. easy)
Another way: I will speak up and plan the donation next time. And yet another way: I might even plan a ‘lunch, learn, and pay it forward’ event in which coworkers can spend a 30-minute lunch time learning about Second Harvest, if they choose to. Awareness: first step?
Thanks, Kim, for sharing your thoughts and creating the dialogue… You are awesome! I’m working on several posts for both blogs during my 2-week holiday break from work; I will definitely explore this topic on my foodie one!
BTW – Where the heck did you guys put all those groceries?? Oh, and we use the cloth bags, too. LOVE them! I give them as gifts all the time and buy themed ones throughout the year.
Two more things: Happy Birthday Steven!! And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your new pic at the top of your blog – beautiful! So warm.
Hugs from Orlando,
robin
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I think the holidays in general have become about over-indulging on food. And when you step back for a minute, you do realize how much excess it really is. What about trying to get your floor to do it differently next year. Maybe have people bring canned goods to donate to the food bank in addition to a homemade dish (or even instead of a homemade dish). That way, even if there is some excess on your part, you at least know you’re helping others in need, too.
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I feel that way a lot especially if I know the food is going to go to waste because that drives me bonkers. I actually discussed with someone about donating food to shelters, but apparently there is a law that prohibits this. I guess to prevent someone from possibly getting sick from the donated food and then suing the person who donated it. Crazy! Because I think of all the restaurants, shops, schools, who have leftover food that could be sent to soup kitchens and such to help the homeless or poor.
This is also the exact reason why a friend of mine is completely disgusted by food eating competitions. Her thought is that so many people are starving that to have a contest to see who can make the biggest burger, or who can shove more hotdogs in their face is really disturbing on several levels. I have to agree with her on this point.
Our food shopping looks ridiculous to be honest. We try to shop once a month or every three weeks, so we buy lots at one time. During the holidays it is even more because I bake for gifts and also purchase items we only eat once a year. It adds up.
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You’re definitely not alone; it drives me CRAZY when there’s so much extra food that much of it winds up being thrown out. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with buying a lot of food, especially for the holidays, if it gets eaten. But just to have it sit on a buffet table and look pretty, and then be tossed in the trash? That’s just wrong.
<3 <3
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package leftovers? you could totally send people home with some of their favorites. next year tell people to bring a dish AND some tupperware 🙂 or you could just have people bring less. i just read an interesting article, darn it forget where, about how “having food” in your house makes you feel more adequate especially when having guests over, etc. so it is a normal thing to stock up and some of it is probably necessary, considering different food preferences etc.
just recently i decided to “use up” what we had and try not to buy things. so… instead of going to the store for more veggie burgers b/c i prefer them, to make mixed veggies and beans for lunch or something like that. it’s scary to “run low” but then you realize you can actually make something with what you have it might be interesting… hehe.
great thought! not a great feeling to feel guilty, but good to share.
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I don’t think that you’re over thinking this at all – it’s exactly why I like your blog so much – you actually think about the difficult things. I have 2 primary experiences with this:
At my previous place of professional employment, there was often extra food around. There was definitely too much food when it was a potluck style meal as compared to one purchased from a caterer. Since it was a smaller office, around 40 people, the leftovers were packaged well and then eaten for lunches for the rest of the week, and the system worked out fairly well. However, when the economy started to turn down, the company decided it would no longer purchase food for meetings, etc – instead it was an expectation that all employees were to bring in meals and snacks to share with the full office. This made all sorts of problems, because people would bring in food on the same days, or just really gross food… I think it can be done well if it is managed, but can get out of hand too easily.
(sorry this is long!)
The one waste of food I hate most. HATE. is when my mother-in-law comes to visit. First thing, she’ll go to the grocery store and buy about $200 worth of food, bring it back to our home, and then stuff our cabinets and fridge full. It’s a generous gesture, but 95% of the food that she buys is unhealthy, processed, and meat based that we will never eat. A week or two after they leave I have to do a full clean of everything so it’s usable again and trash most of it. Feels so horrible.
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You probably get that from me. Drives me crazy to waste food. When we go to a buffet type place I end up cleaning other peoples plates just because they’d throw it away and that ain’t good for my waist either. I won’t even get into some the excess I’ve seen at one side of the family but you knew that.
I feel this way about food abundance all the time. I’m good at feeling guilty, so I tend to feel guilty about having too much food, wasting it, etc. One of my biggest annoyances is coming home from the grocery store with bags and bags of food (we buy A LOT every week). I get so panicked, trying to think of how we can use every last bit of everything. It makes me sad when, inevitably, some produce goes bad. Like I said, I tend to have too much guilt for my own good. Another problem with abundance for me is the increasing number of choices. Have you read The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz? This illuminated so many things for me. I don’t like to have too many options. It’s a major stress for me. I’m actually happiest at the end of the week, when we’re “low” on food and I just have to choose between a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or canned soup. That’s easy. Anyway, I guess that’s it for me — the waste issue and the choice issue.
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Um….yes. This coming from the girl who JUST got off the phone with her mother, asking, “Are you SURE I need to make 3 kinds of cookies? For just 9 adults?!” Hmmmph.
I do feel so guilty, I think because many of us don’t realize how many people DO go hungry in the world (or we realize it, yet do nothing…).
Unfortunately, it almost seems like as Americans we’re EXPECTED to go over board, ya know? Like, if I only had ONE dessert available, that would just be tacky. 🙂 That is pretty screwed up!
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I constantly think about how much food we have in the States, how much we waste and how there should be no such thing as world hunger. When I look at the number of loaves of bread at Jewel and think about how many of those will just be tossed because they’re past the expiration date, it makes me angry. I understand that certain laws are in place to keep people safe and healthy, but really? A loaf of bread that’s one day past its expiration date can’t be donated to a local food shelter or given to a homeless person on the street? That makes no sense. I eat English muffins past their expiration date on a regular basis. There’s nothing wrong with sour cream that’s a few days past its date. I sometimes cook with eggs or milk that’s a little expired. Hell, my grandmother never even refrigerated mayonnaise and no one ever got sick. I am so tired of the waste! (Can you tell? ;))
I would feel SO overwhelemed too if there was that much food!! It makes me feel bad about all the others who can’t afford food during this time of the year :[
glad to hear the party was fun though
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I can totally understand that feeling. I feel awful everytime I throw something away. My mom sends me home with food all the time and I just CANT eat it all so it gets thrown away. Its such a waste.
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I hate wasting food but I’ve certainly never been around THAT much food. Food stations in every room? Nuts. What makes me feel bad is post-party clean up when you are literally throwing platefuls away. Hopefully people took their dishes home and ate em up.
I’ve never been overwhelmed like that before though. More of an individual overwhelmed when there’s so much and I’m scared of eating it all. As far as your grocery shop goes, no worries-you are hosting guests-having a ton of food is all part of it. Merry Christmas friend.
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There’s definitely something to be said in realizing that there’s an enormous overabundance of food in much of the US. When I lived in Korea, our grocery store had one of everything, like it or not. One type of carrots, one type of tomatoes, one kind of pasta, etc… The bread shelf was pitiful compared to a US supermarket.
To answer your question on my blog, I spent the year after uni graduation teaching English in South Korea and was able to save quite a bit of money that way. I’m spending the next few months traveling and then I need to find a proper job. *sigh*
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Wow, I would probably talk about the amount of food forever too. I do always feel bad at family gatherings because it seems like if there is “just enough” food, that would be considered “too little.” And inevitably, the host pawns off leftovers on people by saying, “No, please! We can’t eat all of this.” That always makes me feel like we wasted a lot, but thankfully, my family is big on leftovers!
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You’re not the only person who feels that way. I was grossed out and appalled at the amount of food we were served at a work lunch function at a restaurant downtown. They’d ordered for three times as many people that showed up but the restaurant made the same amount of food. I don’t think I could ever eat at that restaurant again because I was horrified at the amounts on the plates. The only positive? They did let us box up the untouched stuff to take the soup kitchen at the university’s church.
I guess I’m sort of a hypocrite, too, because I try not to think about it when I’m on the cruise ship. I KNOW they throw out a ton of food, but I sort of put my blinders on for a week.
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My uncle met my aunt in Poland in the early 80s. Back then it was still Soviet Poland and when he brought her over to the states, the first time they went to a grocery store she was so overwhelmed she cried and they had to leave. Coming from knowing nothing but bread lines, the abundance of food was a shock for her.
It’s a touching story, but does an experience like that really translate into a humble lifestyle in the end? Not really, they live in million dollar house in LA, and I doubt they think of food shortages anymore.
Very thought provoking topic you’ve written about! People need to stop and think about how politics and environmental issues affect the food they eat, not only the quantity of it, but the quality and the cost as well. And for those of us who can afford to eat what we want, when we want it, a moment to feel gratitude as well.
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I saved reading this until I could really give thought to my response.
I often feel this way, and not just at the holidays. I feel this way when I see overindulgence at weddings, birthdays…anywhere. I have a very difficult time with homelessness and hunger. In my own little way, I try to be a champion for the cause. There is not much I can do, but every little bit makes a difference.
As one commenter said, it is illegal for RESTURANTS to give out leftover food…but not people. People can donate food anytime. In the past I have worked in kitchens and with a program called “Food Not Bombs” which both cater to the homeless.
Like Robin, I work and attend school in an area where I see this daily. I have seen the people who buy their food with crumpled up dollars from the dollar store. Should we feel bad because we live a certain way? I don’t think so. Like you, I am grateful. Very very grateful. And I do try to give back. It is a balance, at least for me.
The best thing I have done…and I would recommend to anyone looking to help the homeless, is join “Back on my Feet.” In 2010, I am going to run for them. It is an amazing charity that promotes healthy living while trying to help those in need get.back on their feet 🙂
This answer was unorganized but I hope I was able to convey my thoughts.
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I always overeat at the holidays. Most of it is that I drink a lot (both alcohol and non alcohol), which tends to fill me up faster. I’ve tried to eat smaller portions at each sitting, which works most of the time, but then I find a food that I really like and tend to eat more than I should of that item. Potatoes… homemade mashed are my weakness.
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