There are no linear journeys
For me anyway! It’s never Point A to Point Z. It’s Point A to Point K, then oops, I started out too strong, back to Point C, trudging along to Point Z again, and I never get there…
Hmm, what the hell am I talking about?
With 2010 approaching I have been thinking about how I want the “new” year to be. I am not the type to make resolutions, or really even goals, but I am the type to dream ahead of what my future might have in store. And to do that, you kind of have to evaluate the past.
So I’ve been thinking about all of the journeys I’ve tried to take in my life. Journeys to improve my health. Journeys to improve relationships. Journeys to improve skills. Journeys to improve my personal characteristics. Usually, during these journeys, especially in the beginning, I am speeding along, making great progress… until I hit a snag and I fizzle out a bit. What causes that? Is it boredom? Is it exhaustion? Is it lack of progress?
Or is it just me, jumping into things too fast, too enthusiastically, too anxiously?
Whatever it is, it has resulted in a lot of non-linear journeys. My journeys are riddled with setbacks, re-dos and start-overs, and it’s hard to get back on track. I know that is part of life’s overall journey. You aren’t ever really allowed to go from Point A to Point Z. You don’t continually increase your running mileage forever. You don’t lose 2 pounds per week in an even manner. You don’t become more understanding without one or two blow-outs. You don’t always say the right thing.
But, I want to work on this. I want to work on my consistency. And generally, being less anxious about things. I would love to be calm. I would love to have an image of what I want 2010 to be like, but not be in a rush to make it all happen. And not be disappointed when it turns out differently – you know it will! And I know there will be bumps in the road, I just hope they will be smaller bumps.
Do you feel like there are linear and non-linear journeys in life? How do you deal with setbacks?
Themocracy
i think i have to just take setbacks in stride. i didn’t get into UCLA grad school…so i had to think of something else. i’m just one big ADHD person. i can’t find something i’m REALLY excited about to do for a job. (sadly, killing myself in WODS isn’t a career. DARN)
omg. planning pickups are so annoying. WHY did sister SWITCH IT UP last minute?! i have no idea.
omg. how many stores have you gone to in one errand trip? i’ve done 7 at most. WOW. it’s like i should bring food we’re out there so long!
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Sometimes I feel like my journeys are too linear . . . and for goodness sakes if I get thrown off the straight line I will break down like nobodies business. I have never been one to roll with the punches, I’m continuously trying to work on that.
i am a big big big believer in the “magic” power of consistency. it gets so much accomplished just by showing up to whatever it is you want to be doing. sometimes we get in our own way or other people get in our way or circumstances get in our way and there goes consistency. i am still working on this one, every single day. showing up as my best self.
and to be calm is the highest achievement!!!!! my yogi tea bags tell me that 🙂 i have always wanted to be calm as well. yoga has helped me soooo much with that. and i stopped going to a studio due to price, but even just 30 min at home sort of slows me down for a second in that small rectangular space 🙂
great post !!! i found it interesting you don’t set resolutions or goals but rather look at the general picture. i’m such a goals/lists write it down type of person. but i appreciated thinking about goals from this point of view, looking at the past and thinking about the future.
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I’m big on doing one thing for a certain amount of time and then stopping completely. it’s never a continuous thing for me. I drank green monsters every day for like two weeks and then just stopped completely. Things are usually somewhat linear for me but in the sense that I stop and then never pick up again. That’s why the food journal didn’t work for me. I would keep up with it for a week and then stop. I’m constantly wanting to work on my consistency but then when it comes down to it, I procrastinate so badly I end up never doing what I need to do.
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I think that as much as you strive for consistency, it is very hard to achieve! Life gets in the way, setbacks that are out of your control show up. While this makes our journeys in life more difficult, it also makes them more rewarding in the end.
One of my friends was giving me a pep talk about life (since we all know I need one now), and he reminded me that it’s these low points that make the high points that much better. If everything was always status quo, life would be pretty boring. It’s the old saying, “Life isn’t easy.” I try to remember how lucky I am…I have a job. I have financial security. I have good friends and family. These setbacks aren’t nearly as bad as it could be. With some commitment and willpower, we’ll get where we want to go, even if it isn’t an easy path to get there.
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Consistency is very important but oh so hard to achieve! It’s the little things we do every day that determine where we are a year from now…but how to be more disciplined? As one of my favorite writers once said: “Practice discipline and you start to become disciplined…It doesn’t matter whether you’re in the mood…do it anyway – and watch how it begins to affect your mood… We can have in life whatever we are willing to be” (Marianne Williamson, “The Gift of Change”, an awesome book).
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A non-linear journey is the story of my 2009, at least in the working world, which then tends to influence all other portions of life. With something like 4 different jobs in the last 6 months, it’s been hard to stay motivated and on track – but I’ve found that having consistency in other areas of my life (mainly running) has helped make everyday life more manageable.
If life was a nice linear progression, there’d be no interest or challenge 🙂
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I’ve never thought about the journeys in my life as linear and non-linear. I guess they’re non-linear since things don’t always turn out the way I originally planned.
Consistency and less anxiety sound like two great goals for 2010…or for whenever. I definitely need to work on those too!
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There is nothing linear about my life or about living as far as I am concerned. I think it’s great to have goals and a plan but also the flexibility to know that despite the best laid plans, the Universe has its own way of unfolding.
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I think life is not linear at all. I wish it was, but I think clinging to that desire sets me up for some depression. There are all sorts of twists and turns. It’s hard for me to embrace the uncertainties, but I find that I’m only happy if I do. A therapist told me once that the key is to let go of attachment to outcome. I always fixate on a goal, and the fastest way to get there, which doesn’t really account for the way life changes. It’s hard for me to create resolutions and things because I get obsessed with the outcome of the resolution and miss out on the enjoyment. Somehow, life always seems to work out. Looking back, even the most “chaotic” times of my life had purpose and meaning, and led to great outcomes on their own, without my stubborn interference.
.-= Author’s last blog post… Depression Confession =-.
I feel like I don’t have enough journeys. I play it too safe, too often. In 2010, I want to live more in the moment, to not think about what I’m going to say next when someone else is talking, I want to be an active listener and to be present. I want to take more risks.
By the way Kim, you are an incredible writer. So beautifully said.
.-= Author’s last blog post… Lots accomplished. =-.
I don’t do resolutions but I’ve picked themes the past couple years, a short phrase that conveys an idea or a metric I want to keep in mind. This year’s: Begin Anyway. Past years: Engage, The Sleeper Must Awaken. Just sort of a guiding principle for the year, something that reminds me of how I want to change or what I want to accomplish. It’s not linear, but I find it helps having a motto.
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This is a toughy. I always think of the line “lifes a journey, not a destination” and its so true. I think as you move along, you learn. As long as you apply those lessons learned and try to do a bit better through each trip, fabulous! Enjoy life, work towards your goals. Setbacks happen.
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I think Sizzle nailed it. I am a planning addict, but have learned that you need to strike a balance between driven and being willing to accept what comes your way. Just kicking back and accepting everything the universe sends your way doesn’t really get you anywhere, but neither does trying to control every single aspect of your life.
I dunno. I’m older than you and still struggling with this, so I can’t give you any real words of wisdom other than to say I get it. 😉
While the fastest point between two points is always a straight line, getting there “fast” doesnt mean your journey was any more enjoyable. Life is filled with ups and downs and I think both the ups and the downs serve their purpose. If you didnt have the drawbacks and setbacks you wouldnt learn, and you also wouldnt have much to look back on when you reflect on your journey.
Consistency is important, but so is happiness, satisfaction, growth. Although I have a temper, and am one who tends to panic, I have gotten much better at appreciating my journey through reflection. And thats something I hope to continue to work on in 2010 🙂
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I am consistent — I’m consistent in my inconstinency! 😉
I find that I’m constantly expecting things to be linear, which kind of sucks since nothing in life is like that. I view it as just another manifestation of my “black and white thinking” … you would think that, having experienced situations where things did not go according to my plan, yet ultimately worked out, I would have learned some sort of lesson. Apparently not.
<3 <3
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my whole career is about setbacks, moving backwards, taking two steps forward and twelve steps back. it’s “normal,” but i still struggle with it.
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Ooo, I love this post. Great timing too! I’m trying to figure out goals vs. resolutions right now. I love the non-linear idea because nothing happens one after another (or usually doesn’t) and I realize that I prefer it that way! I love reflecting and realizing what I’ve learned after a non-linear path opens up. It’s tough and confusing sometimes, but I feel like it always makes sense in the future. Maybe I’m consistent in my reflection!?
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Wow, what a thoughtful, well written post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I’d love to be less anxious and more calm in 2010, that is something I’ve been working on my whole life. I’m a bit high strung, hahaha, and that’s putting it mildly!