Holidays + Family = Food Drama?
If you don’t already read the Well blog on the New York Times, I highly recommend you do. The blog is focused on health and wellness topics and updates a few times a day. I always find the articles interesting.
Yesterday, the author linked to an interesting article called “Food, Kin and Tension at Thanksgiving.” I recommend reading it. You’ll either find it amusing, or that it hits too close to home and makes you dread the upcoming holiday meals.
The article is about all of the family drama that happens during holiday meal times – people commenting on you eating too little, people commenting on you eating too much, people sneaking stuff into your food*, people telling you to quit eating so fast, etc. The article gives specific examples, some of which I find ridiculous, like this story:
A Long Island woman, who like others interviewed for this column didn’t want to be named, said she and her family traveled 12 hours by train for a summer vacation gathering with her husband’s family. When her husband asked for seconds, the sister-in-law said there wasn’t any more food.
“There was all this food around, but she had cut us off,” the woman said. “We were just really shocked we were being told you can’t eat any more after coming all this way. We found out later she really controlled food in the household.”
Whoa! Kind of unbelievable, but then again, kind of NOT! People get weird about food, especially around the holidays! I know I felt territorial in my kitchen this past weekend (even though I love love LOVED that my grandma made breakfast).
Food is just so personal, but then again, it isn’t. Everyone pays attention to what other people are eating (makes me crazy) and a lot of people love to comment on it. That’s just the society we live in!
So, do you have any crazy family food drama like in the article?
I bet most of my family finds my vegan ways ridiculous! But, that is why we are hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas, suckas!** I have had people watch what I eat and tell me to eat more. Or eat meat. Or slow down. Or not to use margarine. Or hey, that is the wrong kind of baking powder! Don’t use that salt! What?! You eat SOY?!
Ha ha. The article has a pretty humorous solution at the very end. My solution? Grin and bear it then bitch to my husband later!
*Well, I added that one, but it’s happened to me!
**Just joking here.
Themocracy
What a great article! This was the Weight Watchers meeting topic yesterday, and I really thought the leader was bonkers to think that some of the “fixes” would actually work. The best solution I have found is to not make too big of a deal about what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, etc. It’s just not up for discussion. The more you try to tell people “I just don’t feel good if I eat all of that stuff,” the more they feel like they have a right to argue with you and/or get defensive about it.
The solution at the end is what we called “F*’d up Family Bingo” — my husband’s family drives us nuts sometimes, not about food but other things. Instead of cringing when I hear my father-in-law monopolizing the conversation with stories about sports events from 20 years ago or my mother-in-law muttering to herself, I just know that I’ve gotten another bingo square covered.
I feel pretty lucky, though, when I compare my in-laws to the mother-in-law who wouldn’t give her daughter-in-law any real food after delivering a baby. That’s sick.
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First- did you get a new header? I like it!!!
We all have family drama- but I would rather tell a story about my ex-boyfriend family. He had a great Aunt, who would bring her own tuperware and while in line for food, would also fill her tuperware AND THEN stick them in her purse!
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Well I was always the odd person out at my family holiday get togethers. We would spend it with my dad’s sister and her two sons and she is all about keeping up with the Jones and everythign was done the way Martha would do it, all the clothes were what the preppy trends were. I am not that person. So I would feel left out (apparently so did my mom)
This year will be interesting since we are spending it with my husband’s family and his new sister in law’s family who are a bit overbearing and over stepping some bounds.
I am just going to smile and eat…then bitch on the ride home.
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I have so much food drama with my mother in law. So annoying! She won’t let anyone serve themselves so I end up with this ridiculous portions of food I don’t really like. And when I only have my appropriate food portion/what I’m hungry for she gets all offended that I don’t eat more.
.-= Author’s last blog post… No Excuses =-.
That’s what I’ve noticed… that people look at what’s NOT on your plate, instead of the healthy foods that ARE on the plate.
I’m going to spend Thanksgiving with my boyfriend’s family who has already been indoctrinated with the vegetarian lifestyle (sis-in-law is vegetarian). I’m bringing a Tofurky & mushroom gravy!
I can probably place some bets (and win) that on thanksgiving my mom will say to my brother “you said you were starving and now you’re not eating…” or to all of us, “I made all this food and noone is eating…” I’ll take note of any food drama and report back to you. : )
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Growing up my stepdad had an irritating habit of telling his children he would give them a hundred dollars if they would try something they claimed they didn’t like. Me, not being a picky eater, ate whatever was put in front of me, even if it was only one bite of it, so I never got offered the money.
He still does it occasionally, but has toned down a lot over the years. Other than that, no one comments to anyone about what is or isn’t on their plate. Yes, sometimes we roll our eyes behind someone’s back because they claim to hate something we think is totally innocuous but I don’t think I’ve ever heard any of those comments as discussed in the article come out of any of my family member’s mouths.
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my mom makes what we like to call “christmas in a can”. All holidays are served out of the box and or can. When I was little I liked string beans, and every year she puts a bowl of string beans in front of me and says something along the lines of how wonderful she is because she got me my favorite. Yup, my favorite thing is generic string beans right from the can.
And another year she bought a jello mold, which I said I liked. She now gets that every year and talks about how I need to save some room because she got my favorite dessert.
Ah, I hate the holidays. 🙁
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oh yes there is drama, and being vegetarian I am usually the brunt of it . . . each time they try a little harder, I think . . . or I ignore it a little better, who can say really?!?!
Well, you know my drama with how my nibbler nature conflicts with my family’s schedule! I try to pack snacks and just keep reminding them that I don’t eat like they do.
Great topic! I’d like to think the bulk of our T’giving drama happens every other year when we’re at the IL’s.
BTW you can get Agave Nectar at Trader Joe’s.
Glad you got the book!
Have a great Thanksgiving!
Holiday gatherings usually involve some degree of drama in my family, but the one thing I can say is that everyone really minds their own business about what everyone else is eating (thank goodness!)
It helps that my mom is also a vegan and my dad is a “most of the time, except (frequent) business trips, holidays and celebrations” kind of vegan. 😉
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What did someone sneak into your food?? I sneak pills into some patients’ applesauce/pudding…but that’s because they can’t swallow otherwise. And I tell them that it’s in there…I guess that’s not “sneaking”…oh well.
I think it’s funny how people will tell you how “healthy” you eat. People at work would comment all the time on my lunches because I would bring carrots, an apple, and some sort of sandwich with me. What’s so bad about eating healthy? I still eat “bad stuff” now and then…just not all the time!
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Fortunately, we don’t seem to have much food drama around the holidays. My cousin is vegetarian, and the family is accepting and accommodating of her lifestyle.
A couple years we had some drama when a distant cousin who is allergic to shellfish ate oyster stuffing without realizing it had oysters. Whoops.
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