What do you let define you?
Should you let anything define you?
I think one of the reasons I am struggling so much (mentally) with not being able to run is because for so long I let it define who I was. I’ve been searching for a hobby since graduation in May ’07 (remember dancing, bowling and fencing?), but nothing really stuck with me. The novelty always wore off.
With running, it was a new game each time. The weather was always different, I could run alone with tunes or run with a friend, I could try a new forest preserve* path or run in the city, I could go for a short or long run, I could run fast or slow… you get the idea. And I felt like running was really something that helped me connect with other people – both in real life and online. I loved telling people I was a runner. I loved talking about it. I loved doing it.
I loved thinking “I’ve beat the 9:00-5:00 (in my case, 5:00am-7:00pm) slump. I’ve found a fun, healthy hobby to do in my 3 hours of free time each weekday.”
But is running really the thing I want to define who I am**? Was I prioritizing it a bit too much during that time? Was I obsessing over it a bit?
Maybe, maybe and probably…
The thing is, I had so much fun doing it. I loved having that time to myself (when I did) to think and decompress. I loved the way it made me feel. And I had so much fun writing my weekly marathon training recaps, even though they were super long and probably super boring***. So, I really think running was a good hobby. It just required a change in lifestyle that took a while to fully absorb. And that is where I was struggling.
I hope some of you can relate to this, because it isn’t just about running. It’s about trying to find your place in life. Trying to find balance. Trying to find out what makes you happy – it’s not really as easy as you think (at least, in my case).
So right now, what defines you, if anything? Do you think about the defintion of who you are (a compilation of your hobbies, beliefs, aspirations and social community) the same way I do, or differently?
*This is why I love living in Lake County
**As much as I love my job, I don’t wan it to define me. People don’t give a crap about your work.
***Steven has confirmed this.
Themocracy
I have gone through different phases where different things define me. My kids, school, work, losing weight…I get so thoroughly encased in those things and now that I am to the point where I don’t HAVE to let them encase me in order for me to feel successful, I don’t know where I am.
I do know what you mean with running though. It is pouring down rain and I couldn’t do my pre-work 3 miles and I feel like crap.
.-= Author’s last blog post… Was Spock right? =-.
I am not sure what defines me, there are the obvious physical aspects but, as far as hobbies or likes it is such a flighty thing. the core remains the same and I do have creative outlets but then either I get bored or busy that my hobbies go to the side.
I never really tried hard to answer that question but, you gave me food for thought.
.-= Author’s last blog post… on the up side =-.
That’s funny, just yesterday I was having this conversation with P about how dangerous it is to let ONE thing define you. For example, I think for people who defined themselves through their job, potentially losing their job in this economy has left them without a tethered sense of self.
There is nothing wrong about having a hobby that you love, but I really think our selves should be a culmination of a variety of things. I hope I live that way–I try!
(also–why do you say people don’t give a crap about your work? I actually find that really interesting with a lot of people, but maybe it’s because I talk to people about their work for …um, my work!)
I always tell Harrison that I NEED to find a hobby. I don’t like to think that running defines me because in the grand scheme of things, I really suck at it. (Plus, so many people do it who don’t let it define them.) I really struggle with not having any productive hobbies (like um, painting), especially when I try to fill out things like the “Interests” and “Activities” categories on Facebook. I guess running and blogging define me….just live everyone else.
Ultimately, This wasn’t very clear, but I think we’re struggling with the same issue in a way.
.-= Author’s last blog post… "Good job, yellow!" CHI Marathon 2009 =-.
Ah the defining thing…I think about this a lot! I was even going to do a post on it, haha. I’ve been struggling with not running as well…it is my hobby! I’ve been running for twelve years and taking a month off (thus far…) has been so hard! I don’t really know what else to do with my time (my other hobbies include baking, reading…spending way too much time on the internet!), but they’re not the same as running. And I’ve grown used to telling people that I’m training for a marathon…so it seems weird to be biking instead. My running shoes are getting lonely…
But the main thing I have about “defining” myself is comparing myself to other people and where they are at in life. Many, many of the people I had classes with in high school ended up in medical school, and that’s where I thought I was headed myself. Even though I decided I didn’t want to be a doctor, I still feel like I’m “falling short” of what was expected of me…although I’m sure no one cares, I think about going to a high school reunion and saying that I’m a nurse…not a doctor. It’s really quite silly, but I feel like people will look at me like “Oh, she didn’t make it.” (Oh no no no, I didn’t *want* to make it, thank you very much.) It doesn’t help that my boyfriend’s friends are all graduate students at an Ivy league school. But you’re right…it’s just a job! And a good one at that. It’s just all in my head.
Sorry for the super long comment! You just struck a chord with me. 🙂
.-= Author’s last blog post… Mediterranean Chicken a la Martha =-.
I struggle with this because of all the changes in my life now! I used to define myself by my relationship. Bad, I know. But I loved being married. When it was good, of course.
I still don’t always define myself as a runner, and that’s because I keep seeing time and time again that I suck as a runner by myself. I need a group. And am I a “real” runner without one? Well, sure I am. But I struggle there.
So right now, being newly graduated and registered, I define myself by my profession. Not just the job I have exactly (nursing homes), but by being a Registered Dietitian specifically. But even defining myself as that is tricky, because I’m so new, I don’t know all my stuff yet!
I think I need to have more confidence in myself. In my newly single status, in my running, and in my profession. Because right now it’s like a false label.
.-= Author’s last blog post… A great midweek run! =-.
Since closing out the marathon part of my life, I’ve had to redefine what running means for me. And I’ve also had to redefine health and how to stay active and healthy. And I’ve had to redefine goal setting. The thing is, if it wasn’t running, it’d be something else. Our lives are not fluid, so we are constantly redefining what things mean to us, boundaries, relationships and so on. The key is to be flexible enough that you are OK with change.
I have let being a mother define me for so long – 17 years now – and I’m not sure what else I am.
I’m an avid volunteer, but I don’t have just one big cause that I’m passionate about – I do lots of random things, not just one theme.
But otherwise….I’m just a mom.
And what happens when my son goes to college in two years….who will I be???
I might be a crazy cat lady. I haven’t decided yet. It’s an option…
.-= Author’s last blog post… Girl You Know It’s True….. =-.
I guess I could define myself by thinking of the things other people associate with me. Running and dogs are probably the two biggest. But what happens if I quit running or no longer own dogs? I don’t know. It’s a good question.
.-= Author’s last blog post… Chicago Marathon Volunteer Report =-.
Thanks for the sweet comment and the dose of confidence you left on my blog.
I currently define myself as a librarian, Anglophile, cat lover, and aging hipster. I guess that covers my job, an interest, a role, and my past.
.-= Author’s last blog post… I just don’t care anymore =-.
Right now I feel like my jobs are defining me which is maybe not how I want to be pigeon-holed. I’m not anyone’s mom or wife or even girlfriend. I am an event planner and apartment manager- that takes up about 12 hours of my every day which leaves four hours for me to try to BE something else.
.-= Author’s last blog post… Flashback/Forward =-.
photography…. that’s all. it used to be much more. I’m not a fan…
.-= Author’s last blog post… macy =-.
I am not sure what defines me, I am trying to figure that one out.
Wow…pretty crazy because I was JUST thinking about why not running is bothering me so much – I’ve done it for 13 years. Running 1/2 marathons, full marathons, and always – always – training for something. When you define yourself with one thing (whether that be a job, your kids, a hobby) and that thing is gone, then I guess it really is normal to struggle with your identity.
I guess the solution would be to find something else, right? But…I don’t know what that is yet! Running just came naturally and easily…it seems like real work trying to find something else. 🙂
.-= Author’s last blog post… Blogging, Books and Balls =-.
Runners and running is one of those things that quickly become who you are, not what you do… I know people who haven’t run in years (due to injury) who still call themselves runners. I am still at my core a runner. I am a lot of other things too, and I don’t feel so tied into a description… too many boxes… but I label myself as well… hmmmmm….
.-= Author’s last blog post… Busted. Roof. =-.
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