Perception is reality?
If you had the opportunity to know what someone truly thought of you, would you want to know?
I wouldn’t want to know what people are thinking all the time, but I do often wonder how people perceive me (coworkers, friends, strangers, family).
And I am not fishing for compliments and input. Just sharing a thought.
I sometimes think if I knew how people perceive me, I would learn a little more about myself*. Not that I think everyone’s perception is spot on. I’ve just noticed that some people I know think of themselves in a certain manner, and broadcast who they think they are. But they don’t come off that way. At all.
I’ll use my personal example. I think of myself as an optimistic, happy, friendly person, but sometimes find myself talking about things in a negative manner (maybe this post came off that way?). So… I am either really a negative pessimistic person, or I need to change how I communicate.
But, how would I know, unless someone pointed that out to me? Maybe I should offer a different question – does anyone in your life claim to have certain characteristics, but not come off that way at all? Have you ever wanted to say anything to them about it?
Does this make any sense at ALL?! I’m not sure, but I’m going to hit “publish” anyway.
*Because I sometimes feel like I don’t really know who I am or what I want. I seem to be stuck in the short term – I want to relax, have fun, travel, spend time with friends and family… what is that?! Those aren’t life goals.
Themocracy
This is an interesting topic. Sometimes it’s better not to know but I do think people don’t speak up or speak their minds enough. As a whole, the American population operates out of a fear-based place.
I definitely know a few people who claim to be a certain way. But me being me, I don’t really keep my mouth shut. I tell them how I see them nicely. Some perspective never hurt anyone, you know?
.-= Author’s last blog post… Hurt So Good* =-.
Not sure if I’m allowed to comment (or if it’s prudent), but…
I’m a big believer in the idea that honesty and openness are the only ways to know how somebody feels about me. Various forces and incentives work against those principles, and unfortunately, although I still support it, I recognize that anonymous communication approaches either 1) aren’t believed to be truly anonymous by their users, or 2) are abused for their anonymity.
Though I expect it would often hurt, I would still like to know how everybody I know and care about *really* feel about me at any given time — especially recently… 🙁 🙁 But, I also recognize that lots of people don’t feel the same way I do, and I try my best to respect and abide by that preference. And, I think moderation is important: too much “piling-on” on somebody does their happiness no favors… i.e., say it only once and as tactfully and as constructively as possible.
Just my $2 and change…
I most certainly do not want to know. I’m scared of the truth. I’ll find out I’m the most reviled person around.
.-= Author’s last blog post… Mother, tell your children not to walk my way… =-.
Just have to say… I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. I’ve spent most of my life judging myself based on what other people thought of me (or at least what I *thought* they were thinking). I’ve finally moved past that (for real) but that doesn’t end the fascination about what they’re thinking, you know? And for the same reasons you mentioned, a better sense of myself, a truer understanding, etc. I get this.
I’d be terrified to know but, like you said, it would be helpful to understand myself better. For example, I like to think I’m a nice person but I bet some people don’t see me that way at all.
I do have a friend who thinks she has certain characteristics when, really, she’s the complete opposite of them. I try to point it out to her very diplomatically. It’s kind of frustrating, actually. Ask me about it some time 🙂
.-= Author’s last blog post… September Wrap- Up =-.
I would LOVE to have some insight about what people really think of me!!
I think i try to be very open-minded, but I suspect that I am not always.
And I highly dislike snobby attitudes, but I’m certain I have my moments…
.-= Author’s last blog post… Book Review: Mercy Papers by Robin Romm =-.
I always wonder what other people think of me…I’m one of those “quite until you get to know me” kind of people, and I wonder if people think I’m angry or cold or rude or whatever. I’m just shy! I also wonder if I look like an idiot half the time…
I hate when people say, “You know, I’m usually pretty easy going or laid back.” NOT TRUE.
.-= Author’s last blog post… in a rush =-.
I hate when people say, “I’m interesting” because usually, that means that they are not. I have a friend who complains about everyone else’s neediness, but s/he is the neediest person ever. It drives me crazy.
I guess I’d want to know what everyone thought of me, though it might be depressing. In any event, it might be a good wake-up call. I’d rather work on changing bad habits that get on people’s nerves than live in ignorant bliss.
.-= Author’s last blog post… An epistolary post. =-.
This post has got me thinking … and I may wind up doing a spin on this next week … stay tuned.
.-= Author’s last blog post… Read =-.
I totally understand this post. Especially the ending part about wanting to spend time with family and relax and also realizing those are not long term goals.
I wish there was a way to know what people think so you can work on changing things about yourself (if you want to or think who they think you are isn’t who you want to be) without having the hurt yucky feelings you get when you hear something about yourself that you don’t like. I constantly wonder what people think about me because I am always so unsure about everything and I am so self critical that I always think people think the worst about me. So I guess I would want to know so I could make sure I come across as myself but I know the things people might say could make me feel bad so I’d have to brace myself for it. I would hope my friends would tell me, nicely, if I had some awful thing that was making me come across really badly or not as I think I am.
This topic is something I think about a lot and I really “get” it and love to know someone else thinks about it too.
For the record, I think you are a fun happy person who cares about others and really takes an interest in what other people are thinking and doing. I think you are pretty awesome. Is that how you see yourself?
.-= Author’s last blog post… Shadows and Asphalt =-.
You’ve been working on some big long-term goals, though, haven’t you? Going to school and all that? I think the urge to cocoon comes on when you’ve been working hard. Same for getting pessimistic — you might just be tired.
.-= Author’s last blog post… I’ve got the power! Now, what do I do with it? =-.
There are definitely times when I would love to know what people are really thinking about me – like in my oral argument yesterday, I really wanted to know what the “judge” was thinking as I was talking.
I find myself falling into the pessimistic place occassionally as well. Usually when things are just not going well in my life, which I think is pretty normal.
.-= Author’s last blog post… What a Day! =-.
I really would love to know what others think of me/how they perceive me, but then I realize I’m too sensitive for that and would end up in tears. 🙂
Interestingly, I know of a few people who claim to be very optimistic and positive, yet I see them more as pessimists. I think so many people WANT to be the cheerleader girl (but not the ANNOYing cheerleader girl) who never gives up, who is perky and happy on the dreariest day. But it’s OKAY to be sad sometimes, and definitely okay to not always be “on!”
I’ve found that a lot of people who seem to be extremely happy are really just putting up a front for the public; then when they get home at night they are TOTALLY different (my sister used to be like this, and my last roommate, too). Although, having said that, that sounds very pessimistic of me. Hmmm.
.-= Author’s last blog post… Pumpkin and Black Bean Soup =-.