Comments (15)

By kilax, June 4, 2009 12:59 pm

I have a reoccuring dream that I am on a plane to Rome, feeling extremely guilty because I have “left”* Steven to pursue my own interests.**

This morning the dream was a bit different. I was sitting next to a classmate on the plane, when I looked down into my luggae (why I had it with me, who knows) and realized I didn’t pack ANY of my running gear.

I started to panick and my classmate assured me it would be okay and I could buy running gear in Rome.

“But I didn’t even bring my Garmin! How will I know how far I’ve gone?!”

Oh jeez. This has gone too far.

But after I woke up, I thought, it would have been FUN to run in Rome! I never did. It would be dangerous with the way people drive there, but it would be so neat to run by all of the old, unique buildings. And I know some of my classmates were running when we were there. Maybe someday I’ll get an opportunity to run there again.

Is there any really cool place you like to run? Or do you have a dream run like this? Right now, I love running in the forest preserve, when I am not getting attacked by birds!

*Not “left” as in divorced, but “left” as in “left behind (for awhile).
**I think I have these dreams because I did chose to extend my winter 2006 stay in Rome into the summer ( I stayed to work for an Italian Architect) when Steven and I were engaged. I only saw him twice in seven months.

Comments (18)

By kilax, June 2, 2009 6:37 am

For some reason, I was really excited that June 1st started on a Monday. I felt like it was giving me a “fresh start” – a new month and on a MONDAY! I was going to get enough sleep, eat healthy, exercise, get everything done in the evening, and go to bed at 9:30.

Ha. Ha ha. My day quickly turned to crap around lunch time, and didn’t get much better. I suppose the gloom and rain in Chicago didn’t help either.

What’s so silly is that I know that ANY moment can be the moment to make a “fresh start” or change something. A phone call that bothers me in the morning shouldn’t ruin my day. I shouldn’t just throw my healthy diet out the window if I eat too much at lunch time. I’ve got to get rid of this “all or nothing” mindset!

I’ve been saying that forever…

And I’ve been thinking about this forever, which is just fueling the fire. I am sick of trying to “fix me.” I am sick of thinking about being healthy. I am sick of trying to figure out what makes me so anxious and impatient. I just want it all to go away. I just want it all to work ITSELF out.

I don’t want to think about it anymore.

So I’m going to pay someone else to think about it. I’ll see how that goes. I’ve had both bad and good experiences with therapy. Maybe it will be different now that I am an adult paying for it with actual health insurance (versus being in college).

Side Note: It totally cracks me up how many comments I got on yesterday’s “Attacked by birds” post! Thanks for all of your fun comments!

Comments (28)

By kilax, June 1, 2009 5:36 am

Do I look intimidating? AT ALL?!

Maybe not intimidating, but scary in a sweaty “ew you need to take a shower” sort of way.

Apparently, I do, at least to the Red-winged Blackbird. Yesterday, during my 10-mile run (splits below) at my (and Tori’s!) favorite forest preserve, I was attacked by a bird FOUR TIMES.

The first time, I felt something latch onto my hair and thought “WTF was that?!” then saw the bird fly away. I laughed. The second time, the bird dive-bombed me and clipped my shoulder (no scratches). The third time was a dive bomb, but no contact.

And the fourth time was when I got pissed off. I was especially cautious to run far away from the birds, and even saw the bird watch me as I ran by. Once he was out of MY sight, he went for my hat and latched on and beat his wings against it. Of course, there was a family behind me witnessing the whole thing. I yelled “GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!” and kept running, but turned around and said to them, “This is the FOURTH time this has happened to me today!”

I didn’t see anyone else getting attacked, and there were A LOT of people there. I wonder if the birds were scared of my hat? I know these birds are very protective of their nests, but I felt like I was keeping a respective distance.

I feel like there should be some sort of boy scout/girl scout patches I earn every time I pass a running milestone. You know, milestones like running with a bloody toe, taking a crap in the forest, running in the pouring run, getting attacked by birds, etc. What other milestones am I forgetting?

Distance: 10.00 miles | Time: 1:32:48 | 1: 9:09 | 2: 9:20 | 3: 9:09 | 4: 9:13 | 5: 9:19 | 6: 9:12 | 7: 9:32 | 8: 9:09 | 9: 9:23 | 10: 9:17