Sometimes there’s no one to talk to
By kilax, June 23, 2009 9:17 pm
Don’t you love it when you are telling a story to a friend, and they supplement your story with details you’ve told them in the past? Basically, when they demonstrate what a good listener they are to you by recalling little tidbits that relate to the new story?
Don’t you hate it when you remember that that good friend, one of the only two you feel like you can talk to at work, is leaving for maternity leave in a month and won’t come back for at least six months?
Hopefully you can only relate to the first two questions.
I’ve noticed that my work day is significantly better if I feel like I have had some level of personal interaction with someone.
That doesn’t happen everyday. I could reach out more. I just don’t want to overshare.
Themocracy
I am totally with you. Really need that interaction. Could never be a scientist alone in a lab or a hermit.
I’ve noticed that my work day is significantly better if I feel like I have had some level of personal interaction with someone.
YES! As much as some of my coworkers at my previous job drove me crazy, at least they talked to me and asked about me and CARED about me. At my current job I’m lucky if anyone even sticks their head in my office to see if I’m even there. I miss the interaction something fierce.
A lifetime ago, I had a career. I had a few friends at work that were wonderful and got me through bad days, and I helped them through bad days and we all had fun together. Then one up and moved away. It took me a long time to get over that.
Fast forward 12 years. My job now is a homeschool mom. I have a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful 13-year-old son. My husband comes home for 20 minutes at lunch, snarfs his food in 5 minutes and takes the dogs out to play fetch.
During my day I have no adult to talk to. I have some great conversations with my son, but I really feel that sense of loss. Hubby is grat, but sometimes you need a girlfriend…
In the town we’ve lived for the past 12 years, I’m a square peg in a round hole. I know a lot of people, but don’t have any real friends. I know friendly people, but none I click with. I’m a square peg in a round hole in the homeschool world, which really puts a damper on things. (Meaning, my kid reads Harry Potter, I don’t own a dress let alone a denim jumper, and while we’re Christians,we don’t attend church. I wonder what would happen if the locals found out I lived with my husband two years before we married! lol)
All my good friends live hundreds of miles from me. The phone is my saving grace.
They all work, so I can’t chat in the day or afternoon when we’re done with school.
So even though I don’t have a paying job, I do feel your pain. And like your link to your past post, I tend to overshare. Rest assured, I don’t spill all the beans, though. lol
So even though we have completely different worlds, I feel your pain. I could reach out more, too.
I’ve noticed that I always enjoy my shift more if certain people are working in my department. People are constantly moving around in our store, too. One of the people I talked to a lot was moved to another department, one is seasonal and won’t have a job there as of August, and a third person is being moved to another department in two weeks and then leaving our store in another month after that. Work will definitely be a bummer after that.
I’m not a very observant person, so I can’t relate off the top of my head. That said, I’m sorry that this person will be gone from the workplace for several months. Maybe you can make a new friend during her absence!
I just read your previous post about “oversharing”. I’m definitely guilty of that on my blog as well, because I also feel like I don’t have a lot of close girl friends that I can just spill to. I have found blogging to be a great thing for me, because I don’t constantly feel like I have something that I am dying to tell someone and no one to tell!
Thats so rough that one of you close friends at work is going on maternity leave, exciting for her for having a baby, but sad that you won’t have her there to chat.
Just remember, we all like reading about your life and of course we love any “oversharing” you do!
I feel you…my best friend at work just got let go a few weeks ago and my work day is just not the same. 🙁
I was just saying to my folks yesterday that while I have some great friends here, I don’t feel like I have a “sounding board” friend – you know, that friend you talk about in your post, the one who you can bounce anything off, you can tell anything to and you know they’ve been listening the whole time (days, weeks, months, years). My friends like that are back in Australia and that’s one exciting thing about moving back that side of the world in October.
The other thing I’ve realised and I’m struggling with is the fact that I need people around me – I say struggling with because I’m contemplating working freelance for a few months when I move back if I don’t find a full-time gig and I know I’ll have to find a way to supplement my adult interaction requirements.
I think a lot of people who blog are inherently social people, despite the stereotype of sitting in front of a computer.
I feel that way about my cube neighbor. It is so good to have someone you TRUST to vent to, or just make the day go faster. She is actually in training today and I’m so sad! And she said she feels the same way when I am out, which is sweet.
I’m sorry your trusted friend is going to be gone so long!
it makes me feel so good when someone interjects with something that i’ve said or mentioned, it makes me feel like, oh, they did listen to me!!!!
and i miss having a good friend at work, someone i can just chat with… i don’t have anyone like that at my current job… but it helps so much!!!
i don’t think you overshare and even though i’m not there you can always reach out to me!!!! :o)
=^..^=
Aww, that is sad! Gotta have someone to talk to. Jobs can be boring, but when we have some social interaction with people we like, I think we perform better.
One of my friends is leaving work in a few weeks and I’m sad. He’s got a great sense of humor and is always fun to be around. I’m truly going to miss him. I know what you mean! And human interaction? Essential!
I would go nuts without my partner in crime! She keeps me sane. (Well, relatively…)
I don’t like to talk to people. I prefer days at work with NO personal interaction. I suck.
Beth – I had a job in college where I had to walk around campus by myself and do all of these tests, by myself. I was good at it, but it made me crazy not interacting with people! I guess we are just more social creatures 😉
Erin – You poor thing! You must feel totally shut out from everyone, being in an office! At least I am in a cubicle, hearing interaction around me (this guy is always singing at his desk and it makes me crazy!). Does everyone has offices there? Does anyone make an effort to be social?
Jo – That is something I have wondered about – how SAHMs and home schoolers do without the social interaction. It sounds like you really don’t get it during the day OR in the evening. At least you have your husband to confide in, right? We don’t know many people where we live, so whenever we go out with friends, it is a great treat, because it is usually just the two of us.
Etta – I enjoy certain people too 😉 You don’t think about it, but them being around really affects your morale! It is not until they come back that you realize that is why you were feeling so much better before they left!
Mica – I hope I can! I don’t expect, or WANT, to be best buds with everyone. I just want people to talk to to relieve stress from time to time! And you’re VERY observant! You noticed how down I was before I even mentioned anything 😉
Julia – Thank you so much for your pep talk! You are such a sweetie! I notice a lot of times I feel so much more relieved about things after I write them out on here. I am not sure if it is writing them out and letting the steam out, or knowing that other people relate, or just sharing… but wow, it sure is easy to overshare 😉
Ashley – I am sorry 🙁 I bet a lot of people are dealing with situations like that right now. You get so used to someone, it is hard if they leave, especially if involuntarily!
Gemfit – I am excited you get to go back to all of those friends! I would be apprehensive about working from home too. Maybe you can go to the library or a coffee shop or something? You could make new friends while you work. And I agree – a lot of bloggers ARE social. We spend a lot of time with our computers, but we are not disconnected from real life relationships! (most of us!)
diane – That is it – it’s the trust! It’s so rare that you find someone who genuinely wants the best for you. I would be sad if I was in your situation today too!
CourtneyInControl – Thanks 🙂 I hope you can be semi-social with the people at your work! But if I am remembering some of the stories you told me… you really can’t 🙁
Amy – We do! There are probably some studies that support that. If I was a really cool blogger I would look that up…
sizzle – I’m sorry your friend is leaving! I love people with a good sense of humor. They are usually less stressed out, more “zen.” I bet you are nervous about his replacement. I am always nervous about new people… not in a “dreading” someone new way, but just curious.
LiLu – Hee hee. At least keeps you going 😉
Hotch Potchery – Hey, I have days like that too. Usually Mondays 😉 but it’s okay 🙂
I love when I don’t have to supplement my story with those pesky extra details bc I know the other person doesn’t need the explanation bc they already know it. And while I didn’t have the maternity thing happen to me, my faithful co-working friend was out for several weeks due to foot surgery. : ( We survived tho!
I just need to clarify something. I don’t mean to imply that as a SAHM or homeschooler we don’t get any social interaction. We do things with homeschooling friends and the local group. My son also has after-school classes that he takes and I usually see his teachers. It’s just not “my” kind of socialization. Lovely women, but none that I click with. No stimulating conversation. Not good-friend material for me, but very nice ladies nonetheless. IYKWIM
Gina (Mannyed) – I am encouraged by your success story 😉
Jo – I’m sorry. What I said didn’t come out right. I don’t think SAHMs and home schoolers sit at home all day by themselves. It’s cool that there are groups you meet up with! I can understand about not clicking with people. A lot of the people who are my age at my office are really nice, but all they want to talk about is drinking and partying, which I am not in to!