Is this called “dealing with other people’s insecurities”?
Do you think some people only listen to what you’re saying, or pay attention to what you are doing, because they are specifically looking for something to make fun of you about/disagree with you about, or point out something you did wrong?
I do.
I also think it is incredibly lame to do this. It automatically makes me think that the other person is insecure, or maybe jealous, or intimidated by the person they are doing it to.
Or… they are just a really big clueless jerk.
Either way, it doesn’t impress me. It makes me feel sorry for the person doing it.
Themocracy
In real life, not really. In the blog world, absolutely. Even though I don’t know anyone in real life who makes me feel this way, I completely agree that often when people criticize, disagree, and make fun it’s absolutely because they’re unhappy with themselves and jealous. I’m sorry to hear that you have someone in your life like that.
(Oops, sorry, this was a duplicate comment. I tried to delete it but don’t see that option.)
I dislike these kind of people as well. I’ve known some girls who liked to argue with everything I said, no matter what it’s about. I try to distance myself from these people as much as possible!
It’s either that or people listen to you or befriend you because they want something. I find most people have good intentions, but there are always those with alterior motives…
Most people in my life are kind and supportive and good. There is one person though that does what you are talking about. I find it annoying and just plain wierd that an adult would go to such lengths to find ways to make fun of someone else. I always feel like there must be something lacking in this person’s life because why else would someone go out of their way to not be nice?
I try to avoid people like that. They make my skin crawl.
I find a good bitch-slap tends to reboot their systems, and get those sorts of people back on track…. just sayin…..
I really think there are a number of people out there who just like to argue for the sake of arguing. It drives me batty–I’ve really had to work on not taking it personally, but I still do. I refer to these people as believing “I’m right–you’re stupid.” They don’t even want to take a moment to listen or look into options beyond what they believe.
We have a VP that is like this. A project could have gone very successful, but he’ll focus on the tiny 1% that didn’t go well and make it look like the entire project failed. Very frustrating and something that makes me want to kick the shit out of him with a giant reality slap.
Even when you agree with this person, he still needs to find the negative.
Yes. There are these types of people *women- a-hem* I still just BE MYSELF and laugh at the notion that they’d make fun of me. How old are they? What GRADE? I mean really, nothing is more obvious that they are jealous shell’s of a human being that pump themselves up by cutting others to shreds.
I find it completely entertaining and have also called a few of them out on it. I don’t feel sorry for them either,… I just think they are funny and pathetic. Life is so short, why spend it cutting “a friend” to pieces. If I don’t like someone, I just stay away from them. I surely wouldn’t try to be their friend just so I could turn around and blast them. That’s a waste of precious energy. You are awesome. If someone disses you, it’s just jealousy rearing its ugly head. Period.
Jenn – It’s more people in my husband’s life than my own. I do have a few people who point out silly things that I do wrong, but I usually get over it after awhile. I wish people wouldn’t project their unhappiness out onto the rest of the world! Deal with it, release it, sure, but don’t aim it at other people!
Amy – That is what I try to do too. Some people seem to always be looking to argue. Or show their worth. Or something!
Beth – Oh yeah. I know THAT person too. I agree that most people are not like this.I get used to that though, and I am always a little bit shocked when people act so rotten!
tori – I am in the same boat. I surround myself with awesome people and distance from the nasties. But it is also adults in this case, and I just wonder, what is the point? Why act that way? Why constanly tease and try to belittle someone? I am sorry you know someone like this. I cannot imagine someone doing that to you!
sizzle – Me too. And it always makes me feel the same way, no matter how hard I try not to let it.
Kyra – LOL! I wish that was an option!
diane – I know people like that, and it makes me feel defensive. It happens a lot to me, about vegetarianism. And they are people who think they are right and just want to show you that they are. Riiiiiiiiiight. There is no point in trying to discuss things with them, becuase they can’t see beyond their own viewpoint.
martymankins – That is awful! Especially if you have worked really hard on something and are expecting POSITIVE feedback 🙁
JQ – I knew YOU were dealing with idiots like this, after all the protected posts I’ve read. And you’re right – it’s so obvious how they feel about themselves. Sad. Sad. Sad. And thanks for pumping ME up! I wrote this more because of something my husband told me though! He has a lot of people who do this to him. Maybe they see a nice (handsome 😉 ) guy who has a happy life (and a beautiful wife! HA HA!) and they want to pick on him.
You know, you never truly have to ‘deal’ with other people’s insecurities, just don’t involve yourself with them. 🙂
Yes, I agree, some people DO listen only so they can find something to feed their own Egos.
Welcome to my worklife, specifically one individual whom I mention regularly on my blog. OMG–drives me nuckin’ FUTS!
And, I agree with all those who say it’s a sign of insecurity in the person, and also that a good bitch-slap is sometimes the only answer.
Yes, I know some people like that and it’s hard to get along with them in life. I definitely agree with those who say they are insecure…but it’s still not enjoyable for us!
Sue – I try to distance myself. But some people really, really want to push their drama on you. Well. That is a whole different topic 😉
Cat. – It’s so annoying when you have to deal with it EVERYDAY with a coworker. Ugh. It can break you down!
Bethany – Exactly. And these people seem to want to spread their unhappiness around. LAME.
It’s been known to happen to the best of us and it’s annoying. Just resist the urge to smack the person. Not worth it.
the girl that does my hair does this… it used to drive all of us crazy but now we have figured out that she does it because she is insecure and is trying to divert attention away from herself by making others feel bad… knowing that, sometimes it still really bothers me but most of the time i’m able to just blow her off… it makes me sad for that person though..
=^..^=
Wow. I’ve noticed this kind of behaviour before at times but never been able to fully describe it or document it as well as you do. But more importantly, what I love about you is the way you deal with it – I truly think you missed your calling to be a psychiatrist or psychoanalyst. You are just so good with people in this way.
kapgar – Still resisting 😉
CourtneyInControl – Oh man! Your hair stylist! And that is someone you are supposed to be able to dish with! At least you have acknowledged WHY she is doing it and know that nothing is actually wrong with you 🙂
teeni – Aww. Thanks, teeni! 🙂