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By kilax, March 8, 2009 8:32 am

Since I’ve been dwelling so much on how much sugar is in all the granola and protein bars I eat, Steven and I decided to make some of our own.

The base has whole wheat flour, wheat germ, oatmeal, eggs, honey, apple butter and vanilla.  We split the base so I could add fruit to one half and Steven could add almonds and fruit to his. After you mix it all up, you put it into a pan and bake it in the oven.

I started by adding dried prunes and apricots to mine…

…then decided it need some red, so I threw in some cranberries.

Steven’s bars are the thick ones on the left, mine are on the right.

The “Fruity” bars have about 115 calories per bar.

The “Nutty” bars have about 180 calories** per bar.

The bars have a “healthy” taste to them. They are soft, but a bit chewy. I like that they aren’t very complicated, and were super easy to make. I think I am going to wrap them up in plastic wrap to eat throughout the week.

I keep feeling like I should apologize for dwelling so much on exercise, health, nutrition/food, and body image. But, writing about those things is kind of like therapy for me. It gets redundant, I know. Thanks for sticking around.

*I was going to call them “granola bars,” but they don’t actually have any granola in them. Oatmeal bar sounds like a dessert!

**These bars were higher in calories because we made them thicker and cut them larger.

Side Note: Did anyone else see Watchmen this weekend? Did anyone else wonder how, during the fight scene in the jail, Silk Spectre II could possibly keep her hair out of her face while fighting?

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By kilax, March 7, 2009 8:03 am

On Thursday afternoon (okay, AND Friday, but this story relates to Thursday), I started feeling a bit snacky. I felt an eating binge coming on. I’m sure it was a result of lack of sleep and avoidance of the work task at hand. I exhausted the remainder of my snack stash at work – a serving of pretzels and a few various granola bars/fruit bars.

Then I decided I wasn’t done, so I grabbed my little coin purse and trekked my way back to the vending machine. I got there and stared at it. The top two rows of the vending machine have salty snacks – mostly chips. And the remaining, I don’t know, five or six rows, are ALL sweets.

I gave up sweets, making it very difficult to find anything I wanted. This is where a normal person would stop the quest and go back to there desk, but I stood there for quite some time and noticed someone else in there, kind of looking at me.

“I can’t decide what I want,” I told him. He didn’t want to use the machine, but seemed curious that I was standing there so long.

“Well, you gotta narrow it down,” he said. “Do you want salty or sweet? Once you decide that, there are other decisions to make. For example, if you choose sweet, then you need to decide if you want something chocolatey. And if you do, will it be nuggety, nutty or fruit-flavored?”

I thought that guy was pretty funny. I realized what I WANTED was M&M’s, but I couldn’t have them, so I went down to the snack shop in our building.

I found the same situation there. More sweets than anything else. My craving for something sweet intensified while I was down there. But I resisted, and grabbed a bag of Gardetto’s.

Yuck. What a disappointment. First of all, they weren’t what I wanted. Secondly, I felt super self-conscious eating them at my desk because they are so crunchy (you know what I am talking about diane!). And thirdly, they leave a super nasty after taste in your mouth. And they don’t really have a good “before taste anyway. I hate that I just had to eat something, and picked something that didn’t even hit the spot.

So, I confirmed something about myself – I have a sweet tooth. When I get snacky, I crave sweet treats. You know what I was thinking that day? “M&M’s sound good. Warm, chewy cinnamon rolls sound good. A Deerfield’s Bakery donut sounds good.” I wanted something sweet and soft or sweet and crunchy.

Since I gave up sweets I’ve been having half an orange in the afternoon (along with carrots and celery). I thought now might as well be a good time to eat “closer to the earth” as well. I get so sick of eating processed crackers and bars. And even though I look for processed food without high amounts of sugar in it, it’s hard to find. There’s still a lot of sugar in there.

Most days I am totally fine eating my healthy snacks, but every once in awhile I get these awful urges that I just have to eat, eat, eat! They don’t come that often. But I hate it when they do. I wish I was better at controlling them. I feel awful putting bad things into my body that I don’t really want. Especially because I run so much. Usually that is enough to make me not do it, but not all the time. Ugh, I am blabbing.

I don’t know if I learned anything from all of this, or if I just feel better sharing my guilt here.

Side note: Should I feel guilty that I felt good yesterday when I overheard my cute and skinny coworker confess that she ate one roll of thin mints the day before, and the other roll the next day? Of course, it was immediately followed with “Now I have to work out, like, twice today!”

Comments (13)

By kilax, March 6, 2009 6:50 am

How many hours of sleep do you get a night? How many would you like to get? Do you think the amount of sleep you get has any effect on your weight?

These questions are kind of random and strung together, but let me explain.

Last month, Glamour magazine had this huge article teaser on their cover – “Lose 10 Pounds Just By Sleeping More” (msnbc feature on the article here). When I saw it, I thought “riiiiight.” Then, I read it, and still thought, “riiiiight.” But I’ve heard it before – people who get less sleep are heavier than people who get more sleep.

There are two ways I can relate to this statement, but they are not directly related to that article. One is that in college, I used to take naps because I was so sleep deprived, and when I woke up, still tired, I always thought I was hungry. I almost always ate something. It took a lot of constraint not to. The other happens to me now – I am so tired that I eat, just so the snacking motion will keep me awake.

This has been a really awful week for me, sleep-wise. I’ve been staying awake on the train in the morning, and I think not banking that 1-1.25 hours of sleep is really hurting me. I am so energetic and peppy at work, but when I get on the train to go home, all the energy is gone. And one day this week, I got so pumped up at work in the afternoon that my heart was still beating too fast when I tried to go to bed that night. I didn’t end up falling asleep until 1:00 and still got up at my normal time of 5:15. I was so tired at work the next day that I got delirious and dizzy in the afternoon. So the next day, last night, I skipped my workout and got in bed at 8:30. I feel a little better. A little.

So, to answer my own question, I usually get 6 hours, would love 7 or 8, and think it would help me keep weight off, just because I wouldn’t be eating to try to stay awake.

But really, I am stuck in the schedule I have. It’s funny, a fellow coworker on the Biggest Loser Challenge was complaining to me a few weeks ago about not having time to exercise. So she asked me when I do. And I told her – I spend 1.5 hours on the train, eat dinner right away when I get home, then 1.5 hours exercising… a shower, maybe some blog reading… and that’s my weeknight. Four nights a week. Exercise is important to me; I am not ready to give that up to get more sleep. (Oh, and by the way, I think the coworker was looking for… some validation in my answer to make herself feel less guilty, but she didn’t get it. So starting this Wednesday, she and I will be making weekly visits to the office gym after work. I’ll let you know how it goes!)

If you’re interested, here are some other related articles on the sleep topic: “Importance of Sleep: Six Reasons not to scrimp on sleep,” and “The Steps to a Sleep Diet.”

Comments (19)

By kilax, March 4, 2009 5:16 am

It looks like I am having another random Wednesday. Maybe I should copy Kevin and start doing “Snippet Wednesdays” if this turns into a habit – I just don’t know if I can promise snippets though!

My Office’s Biggest Loser Challenge Update: Week 6

It’s week 6 of the Biggest Loser Challenge, and I’ve lost 6.56% of my starting weight. I’ve been taking it nice and slow. So even though I am trying to lose weight, I don’t feel like I am living the lifestyle of someone who is trying to lose weight. Does that make any sense? What I am saying is, I DON’T feel like I am on a diet!

Weigh-ins Don’t Work for Everyone

Every Tuesday, the Sun-Times has a Q&A column by Mehmet Oz, M.D. and Michael Roizen, M.D. Apparently we are supposed to be impressed because the first guy is associated with Oprah, and the second guy worked at a prestigious hospital.

Anyway. Today’s first question was about programs that require weekly weigh-ins, and whether they are more successful than programs that don’t.

I found their response interesting – basically, you get out of it what you put into it. If a weekly weigh-in causes you to rethink your efforts and put new vigor into your eating and exercise, that’s good. If a weekly weigh-in causes you to “drown your disappointment in a pint of dark-chocolate ice cream,” that’s bad.

Overall, they said you should be measuring inches, not pounds. I wish I would have measured myself before I started my Office’s Biggest Loser Challenge!

Do you think weekly, private, weigh-ins would work for you?

MyPlate Doesn’t Work for Me

One week on my Office’s Biggest Loser Challenge, I decided I was frustrated (because of a very small gain!) and I signed up for the food diary site, MyPlate. I used it for three days. That was enough. I ate very well those three days, but the headache and constant stress of thinking about food was too much for me. I know that so many people recommend keeping a food diary, but I just can’t do it. It makes me want to rebel.

It was a silly three days, but it helped me get to the point of realizing that my body weight naturally fluctuates and it’s not a big deal.

The Sweet Portion of Lent and Guilt-Ridden Dreams

The Girl Scout Cookies have landed. And they’re everywhere in my office. Let me repeat: I feel relieved to walk by these and not feel tempted by them. Because. They. Are. Everywhere. I. Turn.

My first week of not eating sugary treats went very well. I shared a blueberry muffin with Steven on Sunday and that was it. I think I could have gone the whole day without that muffin, but I could tell he really wanted it.

On Monday night, I had a nightmare that I was gorging on sweets. This tells me I must be serious about it. Sometimes, I have nightmares that I am eating meat and feel very guilty in the dream. Steven has these dreams too. Maybe all vegetarians do? I’ve never craved meat the 8 years I’ve been a vegetarian, but I will have this dream every once in awhile. Well, the sugar dream made me feel the same way – guilty.

I wonder if my sister Christina, who is also a used to be a vegetarian, has had those dreams. Christina, if you are reading this, I also had a dream Monday night that you and Steven and I were at Grandma’s Pete’s old house with the whole fam. The three of us were upset because they were making huge egg mcmuffins, but wouldn’t make them without canadian bacon on them for us. Aunt Linda was making them (of course…). I took one from her and threw a egg on the ceiling and it stuck. I thought dad was going to yell at me, but he laughed. Then we got mad and left!

Thanks Tori!

Tori, thank you for sending me the awesome Thyroid Cancer Awareness wristband. I am going to wear it and tell everyone who asks about it your story and how awesome you are!

(P.S. Data is jealous)

That Nasty Bruise

Thought you’d go a whole week without a fencing post? HA! Not so fast! I was sad not to have fencing class Monday night. Although, it may have hurt if someone hit me in my bruised spot.

The first week of the bruise I thought it was cool. Now I just want it to go away so I can wear a short sleeved shirt and not have to explain to people that I am taking a fencing class (although, it is a good conversation starter!).

Bonus (if you made it this far!)

Has anyone else seen the Terminator Salvation trailer (at bottom of link)? SWEET! Can’t wait for May 21st! I love your potty-mouth Christian Bale!

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By kilax, March 3, 2009 5:32 am

On Sunday Steven and I visited Fleet Feet in Elmhurst. The employee who helped us was great – very knowledgeable, accommodating, patient and friendly. She did a gait analysis for both of us, recommended a few different kinds of shoes, helped me find a new sports bra, and talked to me a bit about Luna Moons (which I’ve really been wanting to try!) and different ways to carry water while we run. And when I mentioned I wanted to read one of the books they sell there, she hooked me up – for free!

You know what I was thinking most of the time I was there though?

I bet this girl is looking at me and wondering what I am doing in a running store. I don’t look like a runner.

What is up with that? I went there shortly after finishing a 6 mile run. I should have still be pumped and proud of that! I guess the endorphins wore off.

Why do I care if other people see me as a runner, when all that matters if I see myself as a runner?

I DO see myself as a runner.

The funny thing is, later that night, still feeling a little down, I opened up the book she gave us, and flipped to a random page. The first paragraph I read said:

It’s clear to me now that I’ll never have a runner’s body, no matter how many miles I run. Instead, I’m concentrating on having a runner’s soul.

Then, that chapter goes on about how running won’t make you have a “runner’s” body – your body is still your body. No amount of exercise can change the natural build of it. Running won’t make your legs longer, or your hips narrower. You have to be grateful for the body you have, and what it’s given you.

How true. That is the logic I am going to have to use to fight the body image battle.

This battle is constantly up and down for me. I don’t know if it will ever be over, but I do know that I’ve gained a lot of ground. The more tools I can to fight with, the better.

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By kilax, March 2, 2009 5:45 am

I’m not an economist, but I’ve been making my own internal speculations about products and services that may be affected by the current economy. I figured activities like library visits, grocery store shopping and working out from home would be up, and eating out, going to the movies and getting haircuts would be down.

The Sun-Times featured an interesting article yesterday on the same topic (click here for a visual version of the article). Their lists of “ups” and “downs” reinforced some of my assumptions, but shattered one of them (okay, and some of the things on their list are just silly).

UPS:

1. Seed Sales
2. SPAM Sales
3. McDonald’s Sales
4. Book (American History, Romance, Science Fiction and Fantasy) Sales
5. Library Book Borrowing
6. Wine Sales
7. Movie Attendance

DOWNS:

1. Frozen Meals for Seniors
2. Shark Attacks (???)
3. Stocks
4. Fortune-Telling
5. Cigarette Sales
6. Plastic Surgery
7. Hotel Occupancy

What do you think of the list? Have you been making any speculations of your own?

(I hope this post doesn’t offend anyone or make anyone think I am not taking this very seriously. I just found the article interesting and wanted to share it.)

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By kilax, March 1, 2009 8:04 am

Yesterday, I had one of those “why I am doing this?” runs on the treadmill. It’s been such a long time since I’ve had one. The training schedule said I had a 3 mile run, but I wanted to do my Sunday 6-miler a day earlier.

By the 2.5 mile mark, I was feeling exhausted and weak. I needed food. Mentally and physically, I knew I could finish the 6 miles, but I made the mistake of focusing on how weak I felt, and how I was really supposed to do the 6-miler on Sunday, not Saturday. And, I was in some sort of “in-between moods” mood that didn’t feel great. I am usually more excited to get on the treadmill and that fuels me through my run.

So I stopped at 3.5 miles, and felt upset with myself.

Which is ridiculous.

I did the run I was supposed to do. I am still in training. I need to stick with the schedule. But, for some reason, I wanted to push myself further.

This is just all the more reason to make the 6-miler today an awesome one! Update: I ran my 6-miler, and it went well. I remembered the mantra “Run the mile you’re in.” It helps keep me from being daunted by the longer mileage.

Other running news:

• Steven and I are working out some finances, but I think there is a 90% chance we will run the Disney Half Marathon on January 9, 2010!
• Steven ran his first 7-miler yesterday and kicked butt! I am so proud of him. I cannot convey in writing how joyful I am to be able to share my love of running with him.
• We are going to visit Fleet Feet for this first time today for gait analysis and running shoe recommendations. And I am going to get some help picking out a new sports bra! Let me tell you, as the miles add up, you really need a supportive bra. Things start to chafe.
• A Snap Fitness 24/7 has just opened extremely close to our house! Our plans were to buy a bowflex machine for our home, but we may not have space for it. We’re not looking for a gym, but this one is so close, I thought I may look into it. Does anyone have any experience with them?