A new adventure
So, what is the big decision I’ve alluded to a few times that had me all stressed out and feeling guilty?
I’m starting a new job tomorrow.
Yeah, it’s not really a big deal to start a new job. Because usually, when you start a new job, you were looking for one, or you hated your boss, or you were bored to death.
But I didn’t have any of that. I was happy at work, but this opportunity fell into my lap, and I had to ask myself “Would I regret not taking this job in a few months?” The answer was yes.
It took me a long time to make the decision though. It wasn’t as easy as following my gut. I wasn’t used to putting that much thought into a decision.
The decision-making process really stressed me out, especially since I talked to my bosses about it first, who I think were somewhat shocked. Then… I was at work for another three to four weeks while I waited to get clearance for the new job.
So, this last month has kind of been hell. I’ve just felt so guilty about making the decision to try something new… and to leave a firm I really care about.
And some people weren’t so nice to me about it. But that’s okay. A lot of other people were really supportive, and I appreciate that. You all know who you are – thank you.
When I was making the decision, I realized that the two most important opinions in my life are mine and my husbands. No one else is 100% considering my best interest when they give me advice. Even Steven probably isn’t from time to time.
I don’t say that to put down the other people that are close to me in my life. I am just trying to say that the only person’s approval I look for, if anyone’s, beside my own, is my husband’s. I want him to be proud of me, and back the decisions I make. He was very supportive throughout the whole process, and that made me feel so much better.
Sometimes, we live our lives for someone else’s approval. We are always trying to please other people. It’s important to think about whose approval you really want. I realized that I was prone to want to make decisions based on what other people would approve of. I had to make the decision that was best for me, and it was hard. It made me feel awful.
Anyway. Tomorrow is my first day. I am excited to start something new!
Themocracy
Good luck!
Agonizing over decisions is something to which I’m well accustomed. I’ve been stressed quite a bit myself lately, so your post was timely and reassuring. Just because it feels awful temporarily doesn’t automatically mean it’s a bad thing. Good for you for sticking it out so you can try something new.
KIM … what is the new job? … GOOD LUCK .. WE ALL LOVE YOU
Congratulations! How exciting!
Congratulations on the new job!
Big congrats! I’m proud of you. And I went through the same decision process and personal/professional hell that you did when the same thing happened to me a couple years ago. So I completely understand where you’re coming from.
This new job doesn’t involve dressing as Santa full time, does it? 😉
Good luck on your first day at your new job!! How exciting!! 🙂 What will you be doing?
Congratulations and good luck!!!
Congratulations!!!
I totally understand the guilt. My immediate coworkers are aware that I will be leaving sometime late next year to move to WA and I feel absolutely horrible even though Scott’s new job and the move is in our best interest.
YAY for you and your new job!!!! i think it’s fantastic that you took the job (even though you felt guilty for it) because you knew it was something you would regret if you didn’t!!! the feeling bad sucks but at least it was temporarily and hey, your “old” co-workers can’t make you feel guilty any longer!! enjoy your first day!! i can’t wait to hear all about it!!!
and i think you couldn’t be more right about only looking for approval from yourself and from Steven!!! if we tried to live our life to make everyone else happy (and to please everyone else) we would be miserable and in the end it really only matters what you and Steven think!!! i’m so glad he’s so awesome and is so supportive of you and your decisions!!!! (you got a good one but i’m pretty sure you already know that!!)
=^..^=
Good luck! I agree that it is really hard to live your own life and do what is right for you. I am always so concerned about letting people down that often I have a hard time choosing what would be best for me!
Congratulations on the new job! I can’t wait to hear about it!
dude, that IS a hard decision. i always feel SUPER guilty leaving a current job – even when i hate it! even when the company was in bankruptcy and 2 weeks from folding! – but you’ve got to do what’s best for you. it helps when my friends remind me that no matter how nice my bosses are, they’re always going to do what’s best for them & for the company, so i need to be the one to look out for my own best interest.
GOOD LUCK!! i hope the first day went well!!
I am thrilled for you – congratulations! And I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve reminded people that everyone around them does things and says things related to their own stance in the world. We all have biases. Some of us are more aware of ours than others.
Congrats, Kim! It’s not always easy to walk away from something good and familiar – but often times the hardest decisions reapt the biggest rewards! I hope this will ring true for you! I admire you for listening to your gut and trying something new and different! Lots of luck, always.
I understand the apprehension. I have changed jobs a few times in the past 8 years…and I am looking for one more change to get me a bit closer to my parents. Each time my husband and I weighed the pros and cons…recently, did not apply for a position because once we talked it out it did not seem to be what we we are looking for next…
New starts can be exciting if not a bit apprehensive…good luck to you and I wish you many blessings in your new position and what it can do for your life…
Good luck to you on your new job. Great write up, which reminded me of my job switch last year.
Unlike yourself, I was pretty tired of my job and getting treated with zero respect from most, if not all of the people I worked with. So I applied, interviewed and left. For me, it didn’t work out as well as I thought it would (it looked better on paper than in real life). It wasn’t horrible, but I basically, I went from one job getting no respect to another job getting no respect. So I went back to my previous employer, which is where I’m at now (it will be 6 years in May).
I tell that story to make one point: don’t burn any bridges. I didn’t and the move back was a smooth as can be. I hope this new place works out for you, but if it doesn’t, it’s nice to know there’s a fall back if needed.
Congratulations on making a decision that was in YOUR best interest and good luck with the new job!
I’m going to stop saying that I miss you because I don’t want you to feel bad, you know that I’m one of those who thinks that this is a great opportunity and is soooo happy for you. So now maybe you’ll have some time for use to do lunch 😉
SO? How was your first day?
claire – You are so right! It seems today my anxiety was lifted! That doesn’t mean there won’t be stress at the new job, I just feel LESS stressed out in general.
Courtney Ilax – I will have to tell you all about it at Christmas! Love you too! 🙂
sizzle – Thanks! 😀 I had an exciting first day.
Robin – Thank you!
kapgar – Ha! That would be a fun job, but a bit temporary. I always think of you when I start a new job, and that one post you wrote about not bringing lunch the first week. Well, I’ve thought of it twice now 🙂
Bethany – Thanks! I am doing the same thing I did before – interior build outs. My title is “interior designer” though.
marissa – Thank you 🙂
Jenn – Thanks! I don’t think the coworkers do it on purpose (at least I hope not!), but it is SO HARD not to feel guilty. And you have a really good reason!
CourtneyInControl – Steven called me this morning to say he was proud of me, and that he thought I made the right decision. Aww. That really made me feel good. Thanks for YOUR support throughout all this! Your emails helped me so much!
tori – I hope I will be able to stick with this attitude, of at least considering what is best for me first. But it’s hard. I think I may be a people-pleaser 😉
Alice – I had friends that said that too! And it really did make me feel better, and think about it from their angle. They’re right.
Nilsa – Thanks! Everything’s relative, right? We can’t all work towards the same goal. Yuck, what would life be like then?
Gina (Mannyed) – Thank you so much. Your kind words now and throughout the whole ordeal have meant a lot to me!
drgngirl – I hope you find the position you are looking for. The search can be hard, right? Thanks for your well wishes!
martymankins – What a bummer! I made sure to keep on good terms with my old employers. They are so close to wear I work now (a block away), I hope to see them from time to time.
Hilly – Thank you! 😀
DeAnne – It really helped that day when I told you, and you had a big smile on your face and said Congrats! right away. Really, I can’t tell you how good that made me feel. Thanks. I am sensing an Ulta trip soon?
Denise – It went really well! There are so many perks I was unaware of, and everyone seems awesome! I will have to write you, or write a post here soon!
I’m proud of you sister! You are amazing and should definitely do whatever is best for you! I know this job was too good for you to pass up! I hope I have opportunities like that when I am all grown up! 🙂
I’m so happy for you about the job and also that you learned something about yourself too. Good for you! I wish you the best in your new adventure and hope you will keep us posted on it! 🙂
Christina – Thanks sister! Maybe when you “grow up” you can come work where I work! 😀
teeni – Thanks! I can’t wait to share more about it.
I am hoping I will be able to leave a comment. I haven’t been able to on some people’s blogs. I am using another computer now and hopefully will be able to.
As far as the new job is concerned I feel you really have to think of yourself and your husband and I wouldn’t feel guilty about it. Any one of your former workmates probably would do the same thing if they had a better situation fall in their lap.
I hope this works out well for you. Think of it as an exciting new adventure. I’ll be looking forward to some good stories and gossip.
Great, it let me leave a comment so it was my other computer for some reason.
joanharvest – I think anyone would do just that – think of what is best for them! It’s just weird… that they don’t think about that when someone ELSE makes the decision….why can’t they make that connection? (And most of my coworkers were really cool about it, for the record 🙂 ) It might not be your computer. Other people have had that problem here too 🙁
that was so sweet of Steven (that brought a HUGE smile to my face)!!!! that’s the kind of stuff that melts my heart and just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!!!! i agree with the awww!!!!
=^..^=
Oh gosh, I hope you had a fantastic first day.
As someone who switched jobs twice this year after being at the same place for 12 years, I realize it is scary. However, if the opportunity felt right, it probably was 🙂
Congratulations. I hope it was a great first day and that this is a wonderful move for you. 🙂
CourtneyInControl – I bet dc is like that too 🙂
Felicia – Thanks! I did have a fantastic first day! You know exactly what it is like… being a little bit uncertain, but wanting to follow your gut.
suze – Thank you. I did have a great first day!
CONGRATS! That must have been scary- change is so darn scary but I wish you the best, you’ll have to keep us posted on how things are going 🙂 GOOD FOR YOU!
Changing jobs is weird, especially when your co-workers treat you like you’re leaving them to fight the dragon by themselves.
I had one of my mentors, someone I truly respected, treat me like absolute shit when I told him I was going to work for a competitor. We became instant rivals until the day he died.
Luckily, most of my other job changes ended with fast-burning bridges. 😀
Congratulations!
jQ – Thanks! I will try to keep you all posted… maybe I will write a little followup post at the end of the week or something!
ajooja – Ha. Your comment(s always) makes me laugh! I left my previous firm to work for someone we were contracted out to… so it is kind of that similar, weird situation. I was really worried I would miss everyone at my old place, but everyone is really cool so far, so I am doing great!
No need to feel guilty about starting a new job, or even considering doing-so. You gave them far-more notice than they likely would’ve given you, if they’d decided to let you go! (As I witnessed first-hand at a client this week, when nearly a half-dozen people were fired, and I’m guessing *maybe* half of them had any idea it was coming.) And company loyalty is one of those notions that seems to have died in the 1980s; a firm is (at its leanest, hardest-of-hearts) only loyal to the employees who produce enough to make-back their salary, and then some…
That said, the lesson I learned this year is that if you find a job you really enjoy, and you genuinely enjoy the people you work with, and it pays well-enough to keep you happy — then that’s likely to be a valuable job worth putting some loyalty into – even if you’re not sure the loyalty is mutual. 🙂 The hard part is figuring-out what that job is…
Taking a new job is exciting, stressful, and can be fun… Even better if, long-term, the excitement and fun (and hopefully not the stress!) continue.
Here’s hoping it does – congrats! 🙂
ES – Thanks 🙂 It does seem like company loyalty has died out, along with an employer’s loyalty (or at least… thoughtfulness). I understand why it is like that, but I don’t know if it is necessarily a good thing. But either way, you are right – I don’t need to feel guilty. I actually feel a lot better now, that I’ve worked a week and am really liking it 🙂