Urges to overshare
The short article below, from the November issue of Self, gave me the courage to write about something that’s been on my mind lately.
I think blogging can lend itself to be a platform for oversharing. Which is fine with me. I need that outlet. I need to let my thoughts out, even if they are too personal, detailed or crazy.
But I sometimes feel like “blogging” is my only friend. Sure, I have my live-in best friend, Data Steven to talk to every day, but I sometimes wish for someone else, a girlfriend, to talk to about life. Someone close to me, who knows me well. Someone to vent to, cry with, and share happy moments with… someone who would also feel comfortable to be that open with me.
I love talking to Steven. But I am continually bouncing the same repetitive stuff off of him. He needs a break from time to time. And I need a fresh perspective.
Feeling like this gives me urges to overshare. I don’t dish out things I regret, but I find myself eager to talk to someone different. I think I am looking for someone else to care about what’s going on in my life… besides my husband, family and extended blog family.
That’s not too much to ask for, is it?
(Yikes, this came out all wrong. It’s not meant to offend any of the wonderful people already in my life. It’s just meant to explain a yearning I have.)
Themocracy
i feel ya on this!!! it seems like it’s so hard to find a “true friend” to share things with- someone who won’t judge you but really does care about you and what’s going on in your life… i think people “need” other people in that way… finding someone that you can have that level of comfort with sometimes seems to take forever and that’s frustrating too… well, for me anyways, which also leads to oversharing, lol… kinda seems like a catch 22.
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omg, i am SUCH an oversharer. on my blog, to my friends, to people i’ve just met… it’s a freaking sickness 🙂 i don’t usually regret it though… i have a total inability to keep things secret, and actually feel relieved when people know potentially embarassing things about me so i don’t have to “hide” them or dance around the subject. but, uh, not sure everyone around me loves it as much 😛
I wish we lived closer…and that I wasn’t freakin’ sick 85% of the time!! But the offer still stands that you can always call me, even if it’s to vent, whine or bitch. 🙂
It is so hard to find someone you feel comfortable sharing everything with. I know what you mean about husband’s being great but not quite filling this need.
I hear you. That would be the role a good girlfriend would be providing for you. I have good girlfriends too but there are times in our lives when they, and I, are each really so busy with our own family matters and personal matters that it is hard to catch up or stop playing phone tag. So I totally hear you. And I actually feel that same way as you about loving the hubby and talking to him, but being able to give him a break and have a different perspective, most likely another female, who doesn’t just listen and try to solve my problems, but like a sister, is there to feel it right alongside me. You have been having some wonderful topics of discussion over here, by the way! 🙂
I have the same wish too. I just can’t seem to find anyone. It seems that most are very into their lives and have little room for new people. But someone someday will want to be my friend, and I’ll sure have a lot to give them. Someday.
yea I totally understand that feeling. especially when i do a head count and realize i have more guy friends than girl friends. today, for instance, i had a victoria secret question and the first person i thought to ask was you and courtney (blog courtney). then i was like uh…would that be strange…
sure you can vent to lots of people, but sometimes you need that understanding that they understand exactly where you are coming from.
wish we didnt live so far, we would have fun together, im sure of it.
CourtneyInControl – We do need other people! We have a need to feel acknowledged and loved and cared about… everyone is just so into their own lives now, it is sometimes hard to find someone to share with.
Alice – I don’t think it’s a bad thing. It’s good to let it all out! If you can trust the people, so what?
diane – I’ve been thinking about it more and more lately. I am trying to hold off until you start working downtown… or are at least better! 😉
tori – Thank you for relating. You know it’s not something wrong with husbands! Just looking for something different.
teeni – Thank you for your compliment! My two best “girlfriends” both live so far away.. that I hardly get to talk to them. In college, it was so much different. It seems to be so hard to maintain that relationship when you start working, having a family, etc. 🙁
Kyra – You said it – they are into their own lives. I hope we both find what we are looking for.
Gina (Mannyed) – Ha! You should have asked Courtney! Okay, but seriously, it sounds like we are in the same place (mentally). I wish we were in the same place physically. 🙁
For the most part, being honest and open and sharing details is a healthy thing. Granted, there are times when too much is too much, but I think, for the most part, it’s a good thing to share.
BTW, in the banner photo above, Steven looks a bit like George Harrison.
martymankins – I think it’s good too. I just want someone… I know personally to be more open with. Just a close friend – I don’t have many. And the ones I do have live elsewhere Steven is going to laugh when he reads that. He asked me if he looks like a Beatle the other day 😉
I feel like blogging is one of my better friends, too, aside from Katie. I can say what I want and receive positive constructive criticism from all over the globe. I love it.
If your one real good friend in real life doesn’t agree with an opinion you have, you’re stuck with them. I’d rather have lots of people’s opinions to wade through and decide which one I like. 😉
kapgar – I didn’t even think of it that way 😉 Ha ha. It’s nice to hear someone else who relates though!
i wish we lived in the same place physically too!!! (or at least somewhat closer- you and Gina are my blogger sisters and you guys rock!!!) and i’m always just an email or phone call away if you ever need me!!!
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CourtneyInControl – Thank you! And I hope someday… we all can meet! 😀 😀 😀