It’s appreciated
During the summer, when Steven and I were participating in a bowling league, we got into the habit of eating at a specific Subway each league night. We really like the guy who works at this Subway. He always smiles, asks us how we were doing, and makes a good sandwich (he doesn’t skimp on the ingredients!)
We haven’t been to this Subway in awhile. We decided to stop tonight, and the conversation started with the normal, “Hey guys, how are you doing?” along with asking our orders.
Then, while our veggie patties were cooking, he said to me, “You look different.”
I stood there, wondering what was going to come out of his mouth next.
“You look skinny!”
I said, “Thanks. We’ve been running.” Then we started to joke about how there would be “no more Subway cookies” for me.
I really appreciated him noticing. It’s nice when people notice, and say something. And not just about weight loss – about anything – a job well done, a favor you did, a nice outfit, etc. It’s always nice to receive compliments/praise.
Anyway, this reminded me of something I’ve been thinking about. And that is… are people more likely to notice a change in someone else’s weight if they haven’t seen them in a long time/don’t see them on a daily basis?
This may be a shallow thing to think about, but I’ve just been wondering. I barely even notice a change in my weight, unless I look at before and after photos. Yeah, I feel different, but I don’t notice the day to day changes. So, do you think the people you see on a regular basis notice any change? Or do you think it takes them a long time to realize you look different?
Please don’t misinterpret me on this. I am not asking because I expect more comments from other people, I am asking because I tend not to notice subtle changes in others; only the big changes. Unless I haven’t seen them for quite some time. Then I notice.
Themocracy
I think I pay attention to it too much. Maybe it comes from a lifetime of obsessing about my weight? When I lost a bunch of weight in my 20s and people would say something I felt good but then felt bad afterward, like I had something wrong with me before. Some people noticed my confidence had gone up. The weirdest part was meeting people for the first time as a thin person and seeing how they treated me. It was different than when I was heavier, especially by men. Part of me resented it because I was still the same person inside, just lighter.
I think your observation is correct. I have noticed it myself over the years. People who haven’t seen you in a while will notice more. People who see you on a daily basis may not notice because to them, the change is so gradual. But fortunately, as you said, you feel better, even if you don’t notice the change so much and that is what really matters. 🙂 But I totally agree – it is nice to have people notice – it gives you positive affirmation that your hard work is paying off. Also, it’s nice to deal with people like that nice guy who works at your local Subway. Having someone that personable is going to make your experience eating there better no matter what. If you get the chance, you should talk to his manager and tell him what a good guy he is and how pleasant he always makes your visits there. 🙂
sizzle – You just brought a completely new nature to the question for me. I didn’t think about what it would be like to go in the opposite direction, and how people might treat you who only know you as “thinner.” Did that cause any major strife for you? Or was it more of an internal annoyance? And, I somehwat think we can tell when people are being sincere in saying “good for you.” Although, that may or may not prevent us from feeling bad about before!
teeni – You’re right. I should talk to this guy’s manager… or at least learn his name! He really is a nice guy. I was thinking about taking him a tray of holiday treats in November 🙂
I think day to day people who see you are less likely to notice just because it comes off in front of them, so it doesn’t appear to be a radical change. However people who haven’t seen you in awhile are more likely to notice because it is a big all the sudden change, if that makes sense?
I was a bit disappointed that my doctor hadn’t said anything to me about my weight loss (I mean duh, they weigh you every time) but then yesterday when he was poking around my abdomen he said, “Wow, you have lost a LOT of weight!” I was worried he thought it was a symptom so I told him I had been working on it most of the year and he said, “Oh no, you look healthy. It’s good.”
So…yeah. I’m not supposed to care when people notice but I do anyway. :p
It’s harder to notice little changes on a day to day basis, rather than letting those little changes add up to a larger change (if you get what I’m saying…) If someone hasn’t seen you in a long time, those day to day little changes look like a great big change to them.
i have to agree with all the comments so far… especially about it being easier to notice that you’ve lost weight when you don’t see someone all the time since it is so gradual- although i wish it wasn’t quite that way, lol! “your” subway guy is nice!!! that was awesome of him to notice and to comment!!! i think you should give him some kudos, it seems everyone is way to quick to criticize these days but never praise… and praise (for lack of a better word) makes me feel so good and it so motivating!!!
i can totally relate to what sizzle said… when i lost a lot of weight the first time around everyone was all, you look SO good, so much better… your confidence has increased dramatically… and it made me feel good but at the same time i was thinking to myself- damn, was i that bad for that long and if so why didn’t anyone ever tell me??? maybe i’m just too sensitive, i dunno… i’m not going to let my feelings “get hurt” by those comments this time around though!!!
=^..^=
I was just thinking about this this morning. When I was pregnant with my twins 9 years ago, my husband lost over 100 pounds. He did it sort of slowly, and I did NOT notice at all. When other people started commenting, I stepped back and really looked at him and noticed it too but since I see him almost every day, I don’t notice things like that unless they are pointed out. I felt like a sucky wife for not noticing though!
Felicia – That DOES make sense. It’s exactly what I was thinking. Not that there is anything wrong with it!
diane – That is one of the only people who should notice! Ha ha! I am happy he said something. Geez. How couldn’t he notice for so long? You look great!
suze – It is hard to notice the little things! I am going to try harder to notice the little changes in people around me… and just be more attentive.
CourtneyInControl – It is really easy to think that people are only commenting because they thought something was wrong with you before. But I doubt that it’s it. I think people don’t think you look bad… they just notice that you’ve lost weight. Know what I mean? Maybe not! I didn’t explain very well! 😛
tori – 100 pounds! Wow! But being pregnant with twins is a good reason to be distracted 😉
Yes, they will. I know once I lose my double chin and my gut, I’m sure people I’ve not seen for a while will notice. In fact, I’ll go out on the vain porch and say I welcome it. It’s one part of the whole change. The biggest is yourself and your health, which are the two most important reasons I’m working to make a change. But I also don’t underestimate the comments and getting noticed by others. It’s that external confirmation.
martymankins – When other people notice, it encourages you to keep going… 🙂
Something similar happened in college. There was a girl who lived in my building and I was working the front desk. One day she walked back in and I realized she got a haircut. Pretty dramatic one, too. I told her it looked nice and she smiled. I found out later that her boyfriend hated me because she chewed him out due to that “guy at the front desk who noticed my hair and you didn’t!” Funny.
Congrats on the weight loss. And you’ll never notice the change on yourself. You need to find people that don’t see you regularly. My mom went on a two-week trip to Florida and it was nearly three weeks before I saw her again and she noticed that Katie and I had lost weight. Feels good. If you keep looking at yourself daily, you’ll never see it except in the fit of your clothes.
kapgar – Ha ha! It’s like in Seinfeld when George said “God Bless You,” when that woman sneezed and her bf got all upset 😛 Thank you. And you’re right – I do not notice it so much! That’s funny that your mom had to leave to notice!